


A circle of strength and love

by dementxa



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Family Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, Romance, Viktor brings his son to meet Yuuri, Will add more tags and characters as story progresses, and it goes about as well as one might think, multiple POVs, naturally Yuuri freaks out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2018-10-23 21:17:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 60,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10727433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dementxa/pseuds/dementxa
Summary: Viktor is convinced he and Yuuri are soulmates. He goes to Japan to be close to the man he loves, but hides from him the tiny fact that he has a son. And when Volodya arrives to meet Yuuri, Yuuri is shocked to discover that he and Volodya had met before.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clear things up - this story is a sequel to my other story Finding The Way Home, which you can read if you'd like, but you don't really need to read it to understand this story.
> 
> The story takes place after the GPF in Socchi (and I mean directly after it, lol), but instead of following the plot of the anime, I'll try to focus on what I think could have happened in the gaps between the episodes.
> 
> There are more notes about the story at the end, but I just want to say this here - in the story, Viktor calls Volodya солнце (solntse) which means sun in Russian. I didn't like how it looked spelled in English, so I kept the Russian word in the text. Hope it shows up and doesn't remain as a string of boxes, lol!
> 
> Since this chapter is quite long, I've put it into 5 parts, each from a character's POV - either Viktor's, Yuuri's or Volodya's. I hope that makes it easier to read!
> 
> If you like it, please leave a comment! And maybe follow my YoI tumblr blog - yoionmymind? Thanks!

With a soft _ding!_ the doors opened, releasing a cloud of medicine like the breath of a waking beast. Viktor wrinkled his nose at the stench, his grip on the bag tightening, as if it was a shield against all the dangers that lay ahead. He then rolled his shoulders and bravely stepped into the building. He needed to be strong, he told himself. For Volodya.

He walked past the reception desks, greeting the staff warmly. In a private hospital like this security was quite tight, but thankfully, due to Viktor's fame and the gold medal he'd recently won, he wasn't searched. Not that he would have minded - he wasn't hiding anything. The paper bag he was carrying only contained food items he was allowed to bring. However, if he'd been stopped and searched by security, it would have taken some time - he'd brought a lot of things - and he wanted to see his son as soon as possible. He rushed past the desks, making a beeline for the elevators.

As he waited in the cabin, Viktor smiled as he imagined what Yakov would say if he somehow saw him at that moment. His coach had called him earlier to check up on him. They had returned from Sochi the previous night and Yakov had wanted to make sure that Viktor would get some rest today. While the elderly man was usually stirct about practices, he was overly generous when it came to resting after a competition. He insisted that if they didn't get a full rest, they'd lose their form. He seemed to be much more insistent with Viktor, saying that Viktor wasn't young anymore and couldn't afford to overexert himself.

Viktor wasn't sure Yakov expected that his advice would be heeded. He'd probably figured that instead of sleeping, Viktor would go and see Volodya first thing in the morning.

And how could he not visit his son? This year's GPF in Sochi was the first time in a long while that Volodya wasn't with him. He was supposed to be there, Viktor thought sourly. Unfortunately, Volodya had been in a nasty accident just days before they were to leave and had ended up with a broken leg. He actually had surgery the same day that Viktor arrived in Sochi.

Volodya had been sick as a child often, but it had never been anything serious. His accident had left Viktor almost paralyzed with fear. As an athlete, he'd seen quite a bit of injuries - thankfully, none had happened to him - but he'd never imagined his own child would end up injured. He'd thought about staying with his son and not attending the competition at all, but Volodya would hear none of it. He'd begged Viktor to go, even resorting to tears when Viktor insisted it was his duty as a father to stay. In the end, Viktor had agreed to compete when Yakov assured him that his ex-wife would keep Volodya company while they were away.

"I'm back, _солнце_!"

Volodya's room was on the third floor. It was relatively small, with a balcony. He couldn't use it, but it was a nice addition nonetheless, as it made the room cozier. It was air-conditioned and had several potted flowers placed in the corners, so the air was fresh and medicine-free.

Volodya was sitting in the bed. He'd been looking at his phone but put it aside the moment Viktor danced into the room with a grin on his face.

"You won't believe what happened to me at the GPF!" Viktor sat on the edge of the bed and kissed his son on the forehead. "Have you eaten anything yet? I've bought you all kinds of treats! Look, I have lemons and oranges and tangerines." He took the fruit out and handed them to his son. "And sweets too - it's boring to eat only healthy stuff, right?" He laughed and then took a plastic bottle out. "I even got you that icky cactus juice you like so much. Bleh, it looks so _wrong_!" He wrinkled his nose as the pale green liquid swished in its container.

Volodya put the food on his nightstand, but kept the bottle of juice. He'd accumulated quite the collection around his bed - books, magazines, various electronics. Viktor had brought him all of this in hopes that his son wouldn't be bored too much. Volodya even had textbooks with him - true to himself, he hadn't let something as trivial as a broken leg interfere with his studying.

"How are you feeling, _солнце_?" Viktor asked.

"A bit tired," Volodya replied with a sigh. "I know it doesn't make sense, since I just lie in bed all day, but I do feel tired. And sometimes I get this nasty pain in my leg." He frowned and rubbed his thigh.

"You poor thing!" Viktor hugged him and stroked his hair. Volodya had lost a bit of weight, he'd noticed. He was a little on the skinny side to begin with, and now he looked even thinner. His hollow cheeks made his mismatched eyes look even bigger. "Have you been eating regularly?"

"No. But I don't really feel hungry when I do nothing all day." Volodya pouted.

"Well, have some patience, _солнце_." Viktor smiled. "Once your leg starts healing, you'll move again."

"I can't wait." Volodya took a sip of his cactus juice. "So, you were saying something about the GPF? I watched it live, you know? I know that you won the gold."

"Oh, that." Viktor waved his hand in dismissal. "Yeah, that happened too. But no, what I wanna tell you is so, so much more important." He laid down next to Volodya, who was looking at him slightly confused. " _Солнце_ , I fell in love!"

He waited for a response, but Volodya said nothing. Slightly irritated by the lack of reaction to his dramatic statement, he turned to look at his son. Volodya was frowning at him.

"Are you serious or just joking?"

"I am serious!" Viktor sat up with a pout. "Why would I joke about this? I met this wonderful angel and I fell in love with him!"

He couldn't understand why Volodya was looking at him with such an emotionless face. He'd expected that his son would be happy at the news. Volodya had shown signs that he wanted to talk about Viktor's lack of dating, ever since he'd passed the age when his father's single life could go by unnoticed.

He and Volodya had talked about dating and relationships, but mostly it was Viktor giving advice to his son. Volodya was probably well aware that Viktor hadn't had a relationship in a decade, but he had enough tact not to bring that up. He was probably waiting for Viktor to feel ready to talk about it. Still, there were times when Viktor felt that Volodya was worried about him. It left him with a vague sense of guilt.

Viktor had thought that Volodya would be jubilant at his news. But seeing him so cold made Viktor think that maybe he'd done or said something wrong.

"... do you want to know more?" He asked, his voice having lost most of its vitality.

"Yes, of course." Volodya tossed his head. He gave Viktor a smile and Viktor felt all the tension in his shoulders evaporate. "I'm sorry, dad ... I just wasn't sure if you're joking or not. And this is all so unexpected! I mean, you leave for just a few days and then come back and tell me something huge like this! Please, tell me more about this angel of yours."

"He's a figure skater. We were actually in the same group in the final, but he ended up in last place because he messed up his program. I think he has trouble dealing with stress." He tapped his lips, pouting lightly. "Honestly, looking back, I should have figured out that he liked me sooner." He smiled. "I caught him staring at me after the competition, but I thought he was just a fan then."

"What?" Volodya chuckled. "Dad, how can you not recognize someone who's skated in your group?"

"It's not my fault! He looks very different when he's off the ice, you know?" Viktor leaned forward, eager to defend himself. "His hairstyle's different and he wears glasses."

"Oh my god!" Volodya was laughing louder now. "That's probably what all those people in Superman's world say too! _'Oh, I know Clark Kent looks like Superman and talks like Superman, but his hair is parted differently and he wears glasses, so_ _ **obviously**_ _he's not Superman!'_ "

Viktor chuckled at that, more amused by his son's acting. It was kind of funny that he'd been unable to recognize someone because of a pair of glasses but he didn't think it was that uncommon. If Volodya had been there himself, he would have understood.

"So, when did you figure out he was a skater?"

"At the banquet. He got so drunk then." Viktor smiled. "And I mean really drunk! He pole danced with Chris after winning a dance-off against your Yuri-"

"He's not _my_ Yuri, dad ..." Volodya mumbled, blushing.

"-and then we danced together and at the end he asked me to visit him - he's from Japan, by the way - and be his coach!"

"Oh, wow! So straightforward." Volodya smiled. "And what did you tell him?"

"Well ... nothing. I mean, I couldn't give him an answer on the spot, right? I mean, he's from Japan and I can't just _go_ there. Not while you're still in the hospital."

"I suppose you can't go at the moment ... but really, dad, I think I'm old enough to be left on my own. There's no need for you to take me everywhere you go."

"I take you with me because I want you to be there, _солнце_ ," Viktor said with a smile. "You're my good luck charm."

Volodya flushed.

"Dad ... this is a very embarrassing thing to say."

"You said that I'm allowed to say these things if it's just you and me," Viktor reminded.

"Y-yeah, I did ..."

Viktor smiled. Volodya was so adorable! He was almost 14, just the age when he kept switching between a child and an adult. It was heart-warming to watch his efforts to find a balance between the two.

"So ... what happened next with you and this person?" Volodya asked.

"Nothing. He disappeared after talking to me and I didn't see him again." Viktor shrugged. "Oh, I forgot the most important thing! You'll never guess what his name is!"

"What?"

"Yuuri! Can you believe it? What a coincidence, huh?"

"Really?"

Volodya's face lit up when Viktor nodded. Then he turned to his side. Yuri, the plush crab Volodya had received ten years ago, was next to him. It was in very poor shape. The once bright colors were now faded and one of its eyes had fallen off. To make things worse, a couple of years ago Makkachin, who saw the toy as his nemesis, had torn the left claw off. Viktor had to sew it back on and he had to admit, he'd done a pretty sloppy job.

Despite its worn-out state, the toy was dear to both Viktor and Volodya. It helped Volodya calm down and sometimes it was the only thing that could help him when he was in one of his episodes. When Viktor had learned that Volodya was in the hospital, his first thought was that he needed to bring Yuri to him.

Yakov would often scold him for indulging Volodya's childish attachment. He claimed that Volodya was much too old to rely on toys to keep him happy. But Viktor didn't think that protecting his son's mental health meant that he was spoiling him. It was simply decent parenting.

"So his name is Yuuri ..." Volodya smiled. He took the toy and cradled it. "You know, dad, I think that this is wonderful. Really, I'll accept anyone you fall in love with, but knowing that his name is Yuuri ... well, then he must be a nice person."

"I thought so too." Viktor's smile faded and he leaned on the pillow. "It's just that ... I would have liked to have got his number."

"Oh? You don't have his number?" Volodya sounded surprised. "How do you two talk then?"

"Well ... we don't."

"What?!"

Volodya turned to stare at Viktor. The sudden movement must have caused him pain because his face twisted in a grimace for a second. But he said nothing. He had bigger things to worry about.

"Dad ... didn't you say you were in love with this Yuuri?"

"I did."

"But ... you have to find him then! Surely there's someone who knows him who can give you his number. You just had to ask around and-"

"I did ask around, _солнце_. But it turned out that no one knows him that well. I guess Yuuri hasn't been in many international competitions." Viktor shrugged.

"But ... if that's the case, then you might not even see him again!" Volodya had raised his voice slightly and Viktor put a hand on his shoulder. His son had pressed the plush toy to his chest and had dug his fingers deeply into the soft fabric.

"Volodya, _солнце_ , don't worry about it. If it was meant to be, we'll meet again."

"No, no, you can't rely on fate or something like that." Volodya frowned. "Dad, you have to find him! Or at least you need to try!"

"It's no use," Viktor replied. "He doesn't even have a Twitter."

"Ughhh!" Volodya pounded on his thighs in frustration. "Then what are you going to do?"

"I'll wait for a sign from him."

Volodya looked at him. He looked like he wanted to say something, but kept his lips tightly shut as he exmained Viktor's face. Viktor fidgeted guiltily under his stare. It had been a valiant effort, he thought, but of course, Volodya knew him all too well. There was no way he'd be taken in by Viktor's words.

"Why are you so _weird_ about this?" Volodya asked. "You never just wait around for something to happen. You _do_ things to make it happen! But now you just want to ... not do anything. It doesn't sound like you."

Even though he was speaking the turht, the sharp tone the words were said in made Viktor flinch. Volodya rarely spoke to him like that. True, he often got impatient with his father, but he'd never really lost his temper with him. They weren't simply a family, they were also best friends and partners in crime, as Volodya often joked. Viktor felt that he could talk to him about anything - and he did.

People told him that he needed to be strict - as a father, he had to act like a guardian, not a friend. Viktor thought this was very unfair. Why couldn't he be Volodya's caretaker _and_ his friend?

Volodya thought the same. In recent years he'd started to practice some indepedence by hanging out with other people - mainly Yuri Plisetsky - but he still loved spending time with Viktor. Unlike other children his age, Volodya didn't find his father annoying or embarrassing. Viktor liked to think that this was because of his parenting skills.

The unusually harsh tone - something that rarely crept into Volodya's voice - made Viktor's stomach shrink. It had the same effect as a firecracker going off at night: a sudden piercing sound that left a vague feeling of uneasiness after itself. It made Viktor think that he was in trouble.

"Well, I can't just go around searching for him like some maniac, can I? It would look bad."

"I don't mean that you need to get all stalker-y and annoying." Volodya rolled his eyes. "I'm just saying that you need to do something and not just sit around waiting, do you understand?" He chewed on his lower lip. "Dad, I'm sorry for saying this, but ... I think you're being inactive on purpose."

Viktor smiled and planted a soft kiss on Volodya's forehead.

"You're right, _солнце_. And so smart too! I want to see Yuuri again. I want to be with him, actually. But ... I'm scared to do something about it."

"Why?"

"I just ... I don't know what to do. It's been so long since I've been in a relationship. And those back then weren't relationships, not really. I don't know what I'm supposed to do." Viktor sighed and brought his knees to his chest. "I ... well, you must have noticed that I've been avoiding dating. I mean, yes, I've been with people before you came into my life. But I never really wanted to be with them, honestly. I guess I kinda felt forced to be."

Volodya opened his mouth to say something, but then decided not to. He moved closer to Viktor and lay his head on his father's shoulder.

"Nobody forced me directly, of course," Viktor continued. "Just ... when you're young but already famous ... people watch you. And you feel this sort of pressure to flirt and date people, do you understand? If you don't, people begin to talk, wondering what might be wrong with you or if you're broken. And then the lies start." He sighed. "When I adopted you ... of course, I did it because I loved you the moment I saw you. I wanted to give you a home. And ... I was kinda hoping that you would give _me_ a home too. Which you did, _солнце_. But I think that I might have also used you as an excuse to myself not to date. I'd tell myself that you come before me and that my responsibility is to make sure you're healthy and happy, not to find a partner." He laughed bitterly. "How silly! As if I can't do both if I want to."

They were silent for a while. Viktor had hugged his son and he was sure that Volodya knew that his hands were trembling. He couldn't see Volodya's face so he could only wonder what Volodya might be thinking about.

"But, dad," Volodya spoke after a few minutes of silence, "I don't understand. Why don't you want to be in a relationship?"

"Well ... I'm not so sure. I think it might have something to do with my parents."

He felt Volodya stir. Viktor hadn't told him much about his childhood. The only thing Volodya knew was that Viktor wasn't in touch with his parents and hadn't been for a long time. He hadn't asked about them, probably because he thought it would upset his father. But in reality, Viktor didn't talk about parents mainly because he'd long ago stopped thinking about them as his family. He often forgot they even existed.

"What were your parents like?" Volodya asked, obviously intrigued.

"Cold." Viktor closed his eyes. "I don't mean that they were abusive or anything like that with me. They never hit me or insulted me. But they didn't treat me like a child should be treated. I guess they thought that they only needed to provide a roof over my head and enough food. They were never gentle or loving with me. Or with each other, as far as I can remember." He sighed. "Honestly, I'm not sure if they even _liked_ each other. I want to think that they did, even if they never showed it. After all, why would they have stayed together, right? Obviously it wasn't because of me."

"But ... I'm sure they loved you."

"They didn't." Viktor gave his son a sad smile. "The thing is, this was the only relationship I knew growing up. This was the only "love" I saw. And I think that since then, I may have been subconsciously scared that I'll end up in the same kind of relationship as my parents. That I'd end up with a person who may love me, but won't show it. I think ... I think that I decided that it was better to be alone than take that risk."

Volodya said nothing. He looked quite sad, Viktor noticed. He wondered if it had been wise to have been so honest with his son. Hearing about Viktor's childhood had obviosuly shaken him. Viktor sighed and kissed Volodya's forehead.

"Please don't be sad about me, _солнце_."

"I just ... I didn't know about that. You're always so happy, I never thought ... I didn't think that you'd been through the same thing as me," Volodya muttered. "I guess now I can understand why you don't want to date anyone," he added, looking at Viktor, "but I think that you may have given up without even trying, dad. I mean ... look, people need love in their lives, right?"

"I have you, _солнце_."

"You do. And I'll always love you, dad. But you need to understand that I am not _enough_. You need to have someone who you can ... hm ... be intimate with, I suppose..." he flushed. "I mean, if you want love but don't have it, you end up feeling empty, right?"

"I guess that's true. Ah!" Viktor gasped as a realization hit him. "Oh, I didn't think about this! I'm doing to you the same thing that my parents did to me! I'm not showing you what a loving, healthy relationship looks like!"

"Dad!" Volodya chuckled. "You really think that's true? You really think I'm shying away from love?"

Viktor smiled. Volodya, the sweet and innocent boy that he was, couldn't help but fall in love _all the time_. He'd often come home and announce he'd fallen in love with a random stranger on the bus. Viktor joked that his son's true love would end up being love itself.

"Yeah, I guess I don't need to worry about you ending up single." Viktor chuckled. "But I have to admit, I feel bad for Yuri - _your_ Yuri, I mean. It probably hurts him to see you fall in love with other people."

"Dad!" All the laugher evaporated from Volodya's voice. He drew his eyebrows together. "I've told you many times - Yuri isn't _my_ Yuri and besides, we're just friends!" He pouted and looked away. His cheeks were as red as blood. "You're so ridiculous! Yuri's my best friend! Stop making such weird jokes!"

"Well, would you prefer it if I got all protective and jealous of him?" Viktor laughed.

"Of course not!" Volodya sighed. He ran his hands trhough his hair. "This reminds me - I don't think you need to be nervous about ending up like your parents, dad. If you had, you wouldn't be such a perfect father."

Viktor smiled and kissed Volodya on the cheek.

"Yeah, you're right."

He took his son's hand and turned it over so the palm was facing up.

"Do you remember the game we used to play when you were little?" Volodya nodded, blushing. "So do I. It started like this." He rolled his son's sleeve up to the elbow and then put a finger on his wrist. "Everything was going well in the forest, but suddenly it started raining. And all the animals ran to the cave to seek shelter. First were the mice." He ran his finger along Volodya's forearm, lightly scratching the skin. When he reached his elbow, he returned to the wrist. "Next were the foxes." He started to tap his finger on Volodya's arm, going up to the elbow again. Volodya was watching him with a smile. "Then came the wolves." This time he was tapping with three fingers. "And finally, the bears!" Viktor clenched his hand into a fist and stomped lightly on Volodya's arm. This time, when he reached Volodya's elbow, he pushed his fingers in his sleeve and tickled him.

" _D-dad!_ " Volodya squeaked and wriggled in Viktor's arms. "I'm not a kid anymore!"

"I know, _солнце_. You're now big, smart and beautiful." Viktor squeezed him even tighter. Volodya was almost 14, but he was still a tiny thing. Viktor loved that, since he could still wrap his arms around him and keep him safe. He wished Volodya would never grow bigger than him; that way he could hold him forever. "But you will always be my little boy. Remember that." He kissed Volodya on the forehead and began stroking his hair. Volodya, following his example, was growing his hair long. At the moment it reached his waist. "So ... you think I should do something?"

"Of course. You know that you should."

"Yeah ..." Viktor frowned lightly. "But I think I'll wait. I want to make sure that everything's alright with you first."

"Ugh, dad!" Volodya rolled his eyes. "You know that I'm fine. I mean, yeah, I'm not fine _now_ , but I will be. I just need time to heal."

"I know that but I won't forgive myself if I'm not by your side while you heal." Viktor pouted. "It won't take more than a couple of months, I'm sure. So it'll be alright. When you get better, we can look for Yuuri together, hm?" He smiled. "I hope you realize, _солнце_ , that I'm not going to Japan without you. And if Yuuri gets impatient ...well, maybe he'll seek me out first."

"Maybe." Volodya's smile faded a bit and he furrowed his eyebrows. "Hey, dad ... why are you so sure he likes you? I mean, you said you two didn't talk much."

"He didn't just say it outrgiht, true. I had to read between the lines," Viktor explained. "Besides, you should have seen the way he was looking at me. Yeah, he was _very_ drunk, but there was something else too." If he closed his eyes, he knew he'd see Yuuri's face just inches from his. At the banquet, Yuuri had been looking at him in adoration. So adorable! In the wet mahogany depths of his eyes Viktor had seen the life he could have. It had been a mere glimpse, but it had left him craving more. "I know that Yuuri loves me."

"Alright." Volodya smiled in relief. "If you're so sure, then I believe you."

Viktor smiled as well. He pulled Volodya closer and played with his hair. It was soft and had an almost liquid quality to it, gliding smoothly between his fingers. It was lighter than Viktor's, almost pure white.

"You'll like him, won't you?" Viktor asked with a quiet voice. "If you don't ... if our relationship will make you miserable ... then it's no use. I need to know that you're going to be happy too."

"Geez, dad ..." Volodya sighed and shook his head. "How can you be so silly? Of course that I'll like him. This is a man who makes you happy - of course that I'll be happy too. And don't forget one thing." He looked at Viktor and smiled. "His name is Yuuri."

* * *

"A completely irresponsible human being, _that's_ what your father is!"

Yakov was huffing as he paced around the room. Volodya was on the sofa watching him with interest. The old man looked like an angry bull, he thought. He could easily imagine steam coming out of Yakov's nostrils after each exhale. Once, Volodya would have found the sight terrifying, but now he was used to Yakov's angry outbursts. He even found them amusing.

"To leave you alone - _entirely_ alone! - and just weeks after you were in hospital too!"

"He had a good reason to do so," Volodya explained calmly.

Viktor's initial idea had been to wait for Volodya to fully recover before doing anything about Yuuri. While he waited, he had explained to his son, he would prepare for the next skating season. Then the two would go to Japan - how exactly they'd find Yuuri remained a mystery to Volodya - and after meeting Yuuri Viktor would decide whether the three of them would return to Russia, or whether they'd stay in Japan.

Volodya had some doubts about the efficiency of such a plan which was why he was glad when the video - the one where Yuuri skated his father's routine - came out. Upon seeing it, Viktor had immediately taken it as a sign.

"He's calling me to him!" He'd exclaimed to Volodya. "He doesn't know how to find me so he made this video. That's why it has the name of the rink in it! He probably hoped that I'd see it and know where to go. Isn't that the most romantic thing you've ever seen?"

If this had been Yuuri's actual intention, then the gesture was quite romantic, Volodya thought. But in his mind, he was almost certain that his father was reading too much into the video. After all, it was kind of a stretch to think that a video would get so viral that it would reach the one person who was meant to see it. There were easier ways for Yuuri to contact Viktor, if he really wanted to. Viktor was very active online and it wasn't hard for anyone to message him. His father received thousands of messages from his fans on a daily basis.

"A good reason!" Yakov grit his teeth. "Chasing after some man he'd only seen once! And becoming his coach, even!"

"Well, what's so wrong with that?" Volodya asked, stifling a chuckle. "I mean, my dad's not young, skating-wise, is he? Like ... most skaters retire around 24 or 25, you've told me that. Dad should start thinking about what he's going to do after retiring."

"Huh?" Yakov turned sharply. "Did Viktor tell you he wanted to retire?"

"Not really. I mean, dad has mentioned retirement, but it wasn't anything specific. He did say a few times that he'd have more time to spend with me when he's retired, but nothing more." Volodya shrugged. His father rarely saw the future as something that could happen to him at any moment. To him it was so far away that there was no need to think of it yet.

"Hm ..." Yakov toned his voice down a bit. "Look, I'm not saying that there's something wrong with Viktor being a coach. I personally wouldn't mind taking him on as my assistant. But," he grimaced, "why _that_ guy? Volodya, you probably won't understand it, but for a coach this Katsuki is a lost cause. Yes, I admit, he does seem to know what he's doing at times. But his nerves are unstable and he's already, what - 25? He's way too old to be trained anew."

Volodya smiled. Perspectives were an odd thing, he thought. Yakov, a 70-year-old man, had just called someone in their 20s old.

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing that he's taking time off, even if it's only for a year. But he didn't need to go all the way to Japan. He should have stayed here and helped train the younger skaters. Your Yuri, for example-"

"He's not _mine_!"

"-he's ideal to fill in the gap Viktor left behind. Why didn't Viktor focus on training _him_?"

"Because my father's in love, Yakov," Volodya replied as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. "That's all."

"Yes, hm ..." Yakov paused to clear his throat. "It's not that I'm not happy for him. Really."

"I'm glad to hear that." Volodya smiled.

"I just ... I think that Vitya is acting very carelessly. He cannot just abandon his life here - and _you_ , most of all - and move halfway around the world. He has responsibilities he cannot just shirk."

Volodya smiled. Despite the sharp tone, Yakov was no longer angry with his father. If he'd switched to calling him Vitya again, then he must have calmed down significantly.

"My dad didn't abandon me."

It was the truth. Viktor had been over the moon with joy but he knew he couldn't just fly to Japan. Not for the moment. Volodya still had a few more doctor check-up before he was free to travel and Viktor knew that it was his duty to stay with his son. He was willing to wait however long it took, insisting that Yuuri would understand, but Volodya could see that with every day that passed Viktor was becoming more and more restless. In the end his couldn't take it, knowing how tortured his father felt because of him. So he'd asked Viktor to leave earlier.

"I'll be fine, it's just two weeks. Two and a half at most," he'd told Viktor. "I can ask Yakov or Georgi to drive me to the doctor for my check-ups, or I can just take a cab. Don't worry about me, dad, ok? Just ... take Makkachin with you when you leave? I don't think that I'll be able to look after him."

And so Viktor had left for Japan. Soon after his plane had taken off, Yakov had arrived at the apartment. He said he'd seen Viktor off at the airport and Volodya suspected that he'd tried to persuade his father to stay till the very last moment. It didn't look like he'd been successful.

"My dad didn't abandon me because he's selfish," Volodya explained to Yakov. "I asked him to leave."

"You did? _Why_ , Volodya? Why did you let him do something so stupid? I was hoping that _you_ at least would be sensible." Yakov sighed and sat next to the boy. He was quiet for a while, mumbling to himself while the last morsels of his anger erroded. Then switched to another topic. "How are you doing on your own? Did Vitya leave you enough money for food?"

"Mhm." Volodya nodded. "I can't go shopping yet, but I can order food online. It's very convenient." His wounds had healed, but had left his leg stiff - whether it was from the injury itself, or the long time he'd been confined to his bed, Volodya wasn't sure - and walking too much left him exhausted. He hoped the stiffness would go away soon.

"Good. At least he hadn't forgotten that you need to eat."

"Grandpa Yakov, why are you so pissy with dad?" Volodya asked. "He thinks he's doing what's best for him. He loves Yuuri and wants to be with him."

Viktor had even gone as far as claiming that Yuuri was his soulmate. Volodya didn't really believe in the idea of soulmates, but he was glad to see his father so alive. Lately, Viktor hadn't been in the cheerful mood Volodya was used to seeing him in. Even before the Grand Prix Final, Viktor had confided in him that he felt restless and unsatisfied. He'd assumed it was because he felt the audiences were used to his performances, and that he couldn't surprise them anymore. But Volodya now suspected that his father had finally started to realize how incomplete his life had been.

But ever since meeting Yuuri, Viktor had been ecstatic. When the video of Yuuri doing his routine came out, it only amplified his obsession. With a smile on his face, his father would watch the video over and over, commenting on every little detail in it. He'd even gone as far as saying that Yuuri's performance was much better than his own.

"Volodya, look. Look at his face. Look how wistful he looks. He's completely immersed himself into the music!"

If this was what a truly happy Viktor was, Volodya had thought, then he needed to go to Yuuri immediately. His father couldn't afford to lose Yuuri.

Volodya had expected that Yakov would understand. He'd always been more of a father than a coach to Viktor. He knew that Yakov would be pissed at his father for leaving so suddenly, but he'd hoped that if Yakov learned of the reasons behind this decision, he'd accept it. Seeing him so enraged had crushed all those hopes to dust.

Yakov looked guilty as Volodya questioned him. He cleared his throat before replying.

"Volodya, don't think that I don't want Vitya to be happy," he said. Perhaps he finally realized how strong his reaction had been. "I've always been quite attached to Vitya. I don't know if he's told you, but he lived with me for a few years."

"I know about that."

"I treated him like a son. I took care of him, fed him, coached him. I made him the man he is today. Not that I want any credit - look at how he is now!" He grunted and Volodya couldn't help but chuckle. "Viktor has always followed his heart rather than his brain. I'm not saying there's something wrong with that, seeing how his life turned out. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have adopted you. Now, I admit, back then, I had my doubts about this whole thing, but he ended up doing a wonderful job with you." He gave Volodya a warm smile and patted him on the head. "You're a good kid, Volodya."

"Thanks." Volodya smiled. "But I don't think you would think so fondly of me if I was a figure skater."

From what he'd seen, Yakov didn't think very highly of the people he coached. Or at least, he didn't act like he did. Perhaps he thought that if he praised them, they might start slacking off. Or maybe he just wasn't the kind of person who was comfortable with showing any positive emotions.

"I actually told Viktor to try you out as a skater. But you chose another sport." Yakov shrugged. "To be honest, I expected you to become a skater too. You would have been good, you have the build for it. And when you were a kid, you couldn't take your eyes off Vitya when he was on the ice."

"I still can't." Volodya smiled. Unlike other teens he was quite proud of his father and wasn't afraid of showing it. "Dad is really awesome when he skates. Although some of the costumes he's worn ..." He wrinkled his nose. Now _that_ was something he could be embarrassed of. "I like figure skating, grandpa Yakov, but I don't think I would have been happy if I was doing it."

"Why not?"

"Well, to begin with, I wouldn't be so good at it. I'd be average, or maybe slightly above average at best. That's bad enough on its own, but with my dad and best friend being so fricking amazing at the same thing, I think that I'd feel a bit useless." Volodya shrugged. "I think that if I was a skater, I'd always be compared to and overshadowed by my father and that would make things a bit complicated. I thought it would be best to spare myself all this."

"Yes, I've seen it before." Yakov nodded. "Usually with siblings. One is always more talented and that's often a cause of resentment and jealousy."

"Oh, I didn't mean that I'd be resentful!" Volodya said quickly. "It's just that I'd never feel good enough, that's all."

"Hm. Still, I think I would have liked to coach you. You definitely would have been more disciplined than Vitya or Yuri."

Volodya laughed.

"More obedient, you mean?" He asked. "I think I would be, but that would be because of my mediocre talent. Only genuises are allowed to disobey."

"You're getting your father's habit of talking nonsense, I see." Yakov sighed and shook his head. "You sure you're gonna be fine staying here alone?"

"Yeah." Volodya nodded. "I mean, it gets kinda lonely in the evening, and the whole place gets really freakishly quiet with Makkachin gone, but I have my Yuri so everything's alright."

"Oh, Yuri sleeps over? I didn't know."

"No, no ... ugh ..." Volodya sighed. "I was talking about the _toy_ , grandpa! Geez, why are you all so obsessed with my love life!"

"I'm not!" Yakov looked embarrassed. "I just thought that ... well, you two really _are_ close."

"That's because we're friends!" Volodya felt his cheeks heating up. Blushing definitely didn't help him make his case. "Just ... it's really embarrassing when people keep saying you and your best friend are dating."

"I suppose it is." Yakov cleared his throat. "It's a shame though. I feel like you could have been a good influence on Yuri."

* * *

Viktor was leaning on the doorframe, watching the scene with a smile. Yuuri was still a bit on the heavier side, but that didn't stop him from dancing around the room with apparent lightness. As he observed the other's flowing movement, Viktor concluded that there really wasn't any reason for Yuuri to lose weight. He'd seemed to have no problem skating Viktor's routine with a few extra pounds on. Unfortunately, figure skating was quite demanding and didn't tolerate anything above a certain level of weight.

Yuuri wasn't complaining though. He probably didn't enjoy eating steamed vegetables and exercising until he dropped breathless on the ground, but he said nothing. He just kept on pushing, with an odd expression on his face that made his eyes grow dark and firm. It reminded Viktor a lot of the face Volodya would make when he was learning to ride a bike. He'd fall down a lot in the beginning, but he'd always get back on the bike, with his tongue sticking out and an expression that seemed to say _If I give up now, all this falling down would have been in vain_.

That was a good start, Viktor thought. Yuuri definitely wasn't lacking enthusiasm. In just two weeks he'd lost half of the weight he was supposed to - an impressive feat, according to Viktor, who'd always been fit. If Yuuri was already showing such spirit, he'd definitely do all he could to win gold.

His happiness would be full if it weren't for this little detail that ate at his joy like a worm making its way to the core of an apple. Yuuri was just so _distant_ with him. It seemed like he avoided being alone with Viktor, and he didn't even look him in the eyes most of the time! If Viktor didn't know better, he'd think that Yuuri didn't want him here.

Of course, he knew that Yuuri _did_ want him here. He was just embarrassed of the feelings he had for Viktor, and his behavior at the banquet. He hadn't mentioned their last meeting and Viktor didn't speak of it as well. He knew that if he did, it would make Yuuri even more anxious.

Yuuri's shyness had beed something expected, but Viktor hadn't been aware of how far it reached. It made him doubtful about his situation. After all, a love-stricken man who'd called to him by skating Viktor's own program shouldn't be acting in such a cold manner. Could that video have been just some strange coincidence? What if ... what if Viktor had waited too long to seek him out and Yuuri had given up on him?

Viktor shook his head. No, there was no way he was mistaken. Yuuri had skated _his_ program. A program that was centered around love. _Stay close to me_. Viktor had thought that this was what Yuuri wanted of him. Had he been wrong?

He felt confused and slightly irritated with himself. He wasn't used to feeling so helpless. Like he were a middle-schooler dealing with his first crush!

He'd been so desperate he'd sought comfort from his son. Volodya was still in Russia, his last appointment with the doctor being in three days. Viktor, who constantly forgot about the time differences between them, had ended up calling his son at 3 a.m. Luckily, Volodya wasn't angry with him. Perhaps he'd sensed that this wasn't what his father needed at the moment.

He'd tried to soothe Viktor's worries as best as he could.

"Look, dad, he probably just needs some time to get used to your presence. You may not realize it, but your personality is too strong for some people." Volodya had been speaking patiently, as if he were explaining the plot of his favorite book to Viktor. "This Yuuri is probably just feeling a bit intimidated by you."

"But I've done nothing to make him feel that way!"

"It's not something you do intentionally." Volodya had sighed. "Just ... wait a little? Apparently, your Yuuri is a person who takes longer to do things, even when it comes to love."

"Apparently," Viktor had agreed sourly. "How do you know so much about these kinds of things, _солнце_?" As far as he knew - and his knowledge of Volodya's life was quite accurate - while his son had been on several dates, he hadn't had a real relationship yet.

Volodya had found his bewilderment quite funny.

"Movies and books, dad! But I think I'm right."

Viktor had doubted the validity of that statement, but seeing as he couldn't turn to anyone else for help - he'd tried calling Yakov, only to be yelled at and hung up on - he decided to ultimately try what Volodya had advised him to do. He didn't like the idea of waiting for something, but there was nothing else he could do.

It would be best to focus on training Yuuri, for now. After all, Viktor becoming Yuuri's coach hadn't been just an excuse for him to come to Japan. It was a promise that Viktor intended to keep.

He was startled by Minako's voice who anounced, in a rather loud tone, that practice was now over. Viktor had got lost in his thoughts and for a moment, he'd forgotten where he was. He came to just in time to enjoy a lovely sight.

Yuuri had his back turned to him and was leaning on the railing, breathing heavily. His T-shirt, moist as it was, stuck to his skin and made the outlines of his muscles stand out for anyone to feast their eyes upon them. Viktor definitely did. He thought that even though Yuuri still had some fat on his belly and thighs, his back was as hard and pleasing to look at as a Greek statue.

The desire to run up to Yuuri and kiss the back of his neck almost overwhelmed him and Viktor had to grab the doorframe to hold himself in place. He grit his teeth, letting out a quiet grunt. His decision to wait was _killing_ him.

"Ah? Viktor?" Yuuri exclaimed when he turned around and saw him. A cute blush spread across his face. "I d-didn't know you were here!"

His embarrassment made his voice higher than usual. The sound reminded Viktor of a frightened baby bird. He gave Yuuri a soft smile.

"I was nearby and decided to check on you." The lie slipped past his lips fairly easily. Viktor had been nowhere nearby. In truth, he'd asked Yuuri's sister to explain several times to him where the studio was, until he was certain he could find it. "As your coach, I need to keep an eye on how your training goes, don't you think?"

"Y-yeah ..." Yuuri nodded. Still blushing, he gathered his belongings and then walked to Viktor. "S-shall we go?"

After saying goodbye to Minako, the two headed back to Yuuri's home. Yuuri was quiet, as usual. Viktor tried to get lessen his anxiety by talking about anything that came to his mind. He told Yuuri about Russia, about how colder the weather was there, about Makkachin. Yuuri responded from time to time, his ears growing redder with each word spoken. It was a cute sight, Viktor thought.

"Yuuri, I'm very impressed to see how hard you've been working."

"Oh!" Yuuri smiled lightly. "Thank you. I ... I really want to do my best."

"I can see that." Viktor nodded. "If you continue like that, I think you'll be ready to start skating pretty soon, maybe in a couple of weeks."

"Really?" Yuuri looked at him with sparkling eyes. His enthusiasm to skate was so pure that VIktor felt his chest warming up. "That's awesome! I can't wait!"

"Yeah, me too."

Yuuri fell silent again after that, but the air between the two was considerably lighter now. Viktor felt his hopes rising. Maybe that was what Volodya had had in mind when he said Viktor needed to be patient. It was sort of like taming an animal - one had to earn its trust first.

Later, after Yuuri had gone to take a shower, Viktor retreated to his room. He'd furnished it to his liking, and it looked almost like his own bedroom back home. Makkachin was out in the garden. He liked it here much better than the apartment back in Russia, as he had a lot of space where he could run and play. He spent a lot of time outside and had already managed to ruin several bushes and flowerbeds. Yuuri's parents - such nice people! - had assured Viktor that he had nothing to apologize for. Apparently the dog they used to have had also been mischievious.

He looked at the time. Good, it was around noon in Russia, if he'd remembered the time difference right. Volodya would surely be up now. He took his phone and dialed his son's number. He had to wait a while, staring at the screen. Volodya's picture was a photo of him and Viktor during a vacation they'd taken to Turkey. They'd visited a beautiful place called Pamukkale and Volodya had insisted they take a lot of photos. Viktor smiled a bit sadly, suddenly feeling homesick.

Maybe next time he and Volodya went on a holiday, Yuuri would be there too ...

"Hi, dad!" The photo on his screen was replaced with an even nicer sight - his son's face.

"Hi, _солнце_. How are things back in Russia? You doing alright?"

"Quite well. I was just about to head out, actually. I'm meeting up with Yuri, he wants me to teach him how to play pool."

"Ohhh, good luck then." Viktor laughed. "Yuri is kind of a terrible student. You know how much he pisses Yakov off."

"Oh, he's not like that with me. It's actually pretty fun." Volodya smiled. "It's just that ... well, Yuri has this odd habit of leaning his head sideways before he strikes the ball. It messes his whole perspective but he keeps doing it."

"Sounds annoying," Viktor remarked cheerfully. "You should punish him for that."

"I know I should, but I can't bring myself to be strict with that poor child." Volodya, who a year younger than Yuri, chuckled. "How are things going with you, dad? Is there any ... progress?"

"I think so. I'm taking it slow, like you told me to."

"I'm glad to hear that." His son gave him a smile. "I really want this thing to work out, dad. You deserve a full life."

"A lot of people would say that my life is pretty good as it is, _солнце_."

"Yeah, because they don't know better." Volodya had suddenly turned serious. "You too, I suppose, have been unaware of this until you met Yuuri, right?"

"Yeah, you're right." Viktor nodded. He didn't feel offended, because what Volodya had said was the truth. When he met Yuuri, he'd realized he was missing out on a huge part of life. He wanted to catch up now. "But I wouldn't say that my life so far has been bad. That would be an insult to you and everyone else in my life."

"That's not true," Volodya retorted. "Every person in your life gives you something that's unique and that you can't get from another person. That's why you keep them close. I'm your family and I've been giving you everything I have and while you've been perfectly happy with me - at least, I hope you have! - it's possible for you to have been unhappy with your life in general at the same time."

"That doesn't make a lot of sense."

"Because that's life, dad. It doesn't make sense most of the time." Volodya chuckled. "You'd know that if you weren't Viktor Nikiforov."

"You say that about almost everything!" Viktor pouted. "Oh, did you get those photos I sent you?"

"Of Makkachin with that seaweed? Yup." Volodya laughed. "Everything looks so pretty there."

"It is. I can't wait till you come too, _солнце_."

It didn't feel right. Viktor was used to having Volodya close at all times. He had a habit of kissing Volodya on the cheek before sending him to bed and he felt empty now that he couldn't do that. It was a bit ironic, Viktor had come here in order to find something he'd been missing, and he'd ended up missing the life he'd left behind.

That would change soon, he thought. Volodya would come to meet Yuuri and everything would be perfect again.

"You have to wait just a tiny bit more." Volodya smiled. "Dad, I gotta leave soon. Oh, but before I go ... I've been meaning to ask you. How did Yuuri react when you told him about me? Not many people know you have a son, after all..."

"Actually, I haven't told him about you yet."

"What?!" Volodya stared at him. His eyes were already too big for his little face, but as they grew even bigger now, Viktor thought amused that he kind of looked like one of those tiny fish with large eyes. "Dad, why didn't you tell him? It's not fair to hide something so huge from the person you love."

"I'm not hiding it. You, I mean," Viktor corrected himself. "I just don't want to tell Yuuri about you before you two meet. If I do, he'll start having these expectations of you and everything. I want him to meet you completely unbiased."

"This is such a dumb explanation." Volodya rolled his eyes. "You just want to surprise him, admit it."

"Fine, I am a bit curious to see how he'll react when he meets you." Viktor chuckled.

"Ugh ..." Volodya sighed. "Do what you want, dad. I think you're acting like a complete child, but ... well, you're the adult, so what do I know? Look, I gotta go now or I'll be late. I'll call you later, ok?"

"Sure." Viktor smiled. "Well, have fun with your Yuri!"

"Dad, how many times do I have to tell, he's not _mine_!" Volodya pouted at him before hanging up.

Viktor laughed and put his phone aside. He'd felt that Volodya had become a bit irritated with him at the end of their conversation. It was probably because of the distance between them. Viktor too felt uneasy that he'd been separated from his son for so long. It didn't feel _right_.

Well, a few more days and they'd be reunited again. Viktor was sure that Volodya's presence would make things easier for him. At least he'd have something to do while Yuuri was training with Minako. He and Volodya could walk around the town, eat in local restaurants and take lots of photos. It would be like a vacation for them!

Volodya and Yuuri would become good friends, he was sure. Volodya, despite being shy around strangers, was quite friendly. And he already liked Yuuri because of his name.

Viktor hummed to himself. It felt nice to lie in bed and daydream, but he soon grew bored with it. There was still some time before dinner, so he thought he could go have a dip in the hot spring. He found it quite calming, especially in the evening, when the lanterns were lit. Volodya would probably like it too and it would surely be good for his leg. Of course, he might have a problem with being nude in the open. He was shy about silly things like that.

Viktor jumped from his bed and took his robe. As he walked through the hallway, he wondered if Volodya would like the presents he'd bought for him.

It turned out that there was already someone in the pool. Yuuri was already in the water and he seemed to have been there for a while. He was startled when he saw Viktor.

"Don't get out." Viktor stopped him. "There's plenty of space for the two of us."

He got in and made himself comfortable. He was keeping a distance between them so that Yuuri wouldn't feel anxious. Viktor was silent for a while, watching the ripples that had formed around him. The hot spring was indeed calming, Yuuri's tension was spoiling it. Viktor knew he had to do something to fix it.

"You know, your parents told me that you had a dog just like Makkachin," he said. It seemed like a safe topic to him - everyone loved to talk about their pets, right? "Was he naughty like my Makkachin too?"

"Oh, no!" Yuuri laughed. "Vic- _my dog_ was very well-behaved. He rarely did bad things. I mean, he was very playful when he was a puppy, but that's normal."

"I see. I guess dogs do take after their owners." Viktor smiled. He couldn't imagine Yuuri being mischievious at all.

"Oh, you think?" Yuuri blushed. "I suppose that's true ..."

Viktor watched him. He liked how the light from the lanterns danced on his skin, and how there were droplets in his hair, as if Yuuri was wearing a crown of stars. Water was rolling down his cheeks and pooling in the dip of his collarbone. The sight made Viktor feel thirsty.

Yuuri leaned back and sighed, a cloud of steam escaping his mouth. Viktor watched him with a smile. It was nice to see Yuuri so relaxed. He was usually so agitated and fidgety that every little thing scared him. Thinking about it, Viktor smiled as he imagined how Yuuri would react to meeting Volodya. Ah! Viktor flinched. He'd forgotten to tell Yuuri about Volodya's arrival! Better do that now.

"Yuuri." Viktor laid his head on the stone that surrounded the pool. "Would it be too arrogant of me if I got a guest to stay here?"

"Oh?" Yuuri seemed intrigued. "Someone's coming to visit you?"

"Mhm." Viktor smiled. "Someone very close and important to me. I hope it's not a problem if he stays here?"

"Of course not. We have a room available. It's smaller than yours though ..."

"I'm sure he won't complain," Viktor assured him with a smile. Volodya's bedroom back home was small too, and he'd never said anything about it. Viktor actually found it much cozier than his own bedroom.

"Alright then. Um ... who's this person?"

"It's a surprise." Viktor gave him a wink. "He's someone who's very important, but you'll have to wait till he comes to meet him. But I really hope you two can become friends."

Feeling that he'd done his duty, Viktor sunk back into the water and allowed himself to relax.

* * *

"But why do you have to go too? You're not in love with that guy, are you?"

"Of course not!" Volodya laughed. "You really think I'd fall in love with the same person my dad's in love with? What do you think this is, some TV drama?"

"Of course not! I don't even watch crap like that!" Yuri Plisetsky rolled his eyes. "So that's why I'm asking you - _why_ are you going?"

"My dad wants me to meet this Yuuri. And I wanna go there. I mean, it'll be kinda like a vacation, right? Plus, I kinda wanna meet the man my dad loves too. I bet he's nice."

This conversation wasn't what Volodya had expected when Yuri offered to spend the day with him. He was leaving for Japan - well, first for Moscow and _then_ for Japan - that night. This was the first time he'd fly on his own and even though that made him feel mature and independent, he was a bit nervous that his father wouldn't be by his side. Volodya had thought that spending the time he had left with his best friend would cheer him up quite a bit.

He'd been wrong.

Yuri had shown up in full battle mode, fully intent on convincing Volodya to stay. As if Volodya could do that, even if he wanted to. His ticket was already bought and his luggage - packed. And how could Volodya call his dad, who'd been excitedly counting the hours until he would see his son again, and tell him that he wouldn't be coming after all? How could Volodya disappoint him like that?

Nevertheless, Yuri had stubbornly tried to persuade him to stay, and when he saw that his begging was failing, he switched tactics and turned on Viktor and Yuuri. Perhaps he thought, Volodya mused, that if he bad-mouthed them enough, then Volodya would decide not to leave.

"Ugh ... but why _Katsuki_?" Yuri groaned. "He's a total loser and he's so weird! The fuck does your dad see in him?" He looked at Volodya and frowned. "I thought you said Viktor was in love with Christophe?" He asked in an accusing tone.

"I didn't! I said that I think Chris _may_ be in love with my dad." Volodya laughed. "But then I got to know him better and realized he acted like that with everyone. And Chris even told me that he prefers brunettes."

"That explains his hair!"

Volodya laughed. He rolled to lie on his side and pulled his hair from underneath his body. It was so long that he often lied on it and tugged it painfully. Yuri had offered to braid it, which had caught Volodya off guard. Yuri usually stayed away from such girly things, as he called. But this day, unexpectedly, he'd gone back on his word. Volodya couldn't help but think that it was becasue he was leaving for Japan.

It had turned out that Yuri wasn't good at braiding. He seemed to enjoy himself, though, so Volodya didn't complain. Today he seemed to be letting Yuri do a lot of things he usually didn't allow him to do. Perhaps he was spoiling his friend a bit so that he'd cheer up. It didn't seem to be working. Volodya decided that a new approach was needed.

"Wow, Yura, seeing how pissy you are, am I to take it that you'll miss me?" He asked with a smile. It was meant to be a tease to provoke his friend, but Yuri answered with all the seriousness of a lost phone.

"Of course. Why do you think I'm trying to make you stay?" He was pouting. "We had so many things planned ... We were going to go to that convention. We had out outfits planned and all ..."

"Yeah ... I'm really sorry about that, Yura." Volodya patted him on the hand. "I'll miss you too, you know? I mean, it's weird that we'll be in different countries." He sighed. "It's sure gonna be dull without you..."

"It won't be, because I'm not letting you leave."

"What will you do - lock me up?" Volodya asked. He found Yuri's persistence kind of charming. He would have found it even more charming if he didn't suspect that Yuri was actually serious about it.

"I will. And I'll lock myself in with you, to make sure you won't escape out the window or something."

"That _totally_ makes you sound normal." Volodya laughed. "But I don't think Yakov will let you lock yourself away for too long. He won't be happy if you miss practice. Maybe you should lock me up in the rink?" He sat up. "Is there any pizza left?"

Yuri motioned at the box lying beside him. Volodya's bed was big enough to hold the two teens and a box of extra large pizza. Volodya had to crawl over Yuri to reach the food. His braid slipped down and fell on top of Yuri. Instead of moving it away, he bit into it and tugged it, like a kitten wanting to play.

"Yura! Don't eat my hair!"

Yuri, his mouth full with hair, mumbled something that Volodya couldn't understand. He could guess the meaning, going by the defiant tone. He laughed again and pulled his braid away.

"You're lucky I haven't dyed my hair yet. The last thing I need is for you is to die in my arms."

"You're still intent on dying it?" Yuri asked. Volodya had talked about this before, but he never seemed to find the time to do it."Why?"

"I dunno. Change?" Volodya touched his braid absently. "White hair is just so ... boring."

"Not on you. I think it suits you. Way more than Viktor, at least."

"My father's hair isn't white, dumbass!"

"Yeah, it's grey. Like a dishrag. _That's_ boring."

Volodya laughed. He took two slices of pizza from the box and gave one to Yuri. For a while they were focused more on eating than talking. Volodya noticed that Yuri was looking at his gymnastics trophies. He 'd never paid much attention to them before. Volodya didn't expect him to be impressed, most of the trophies were for second place.

"Will you be able to do it again?"

"I don't know." Volodya shrugged. "I haven't asked. Probably not, though."

"It's not fair ..." Yuri said quietly.

"Look, I wasn't really that invested to begin with, so it's no big deal. It was fun to be a part of the team and all, but I've never actually aspired to succeed."

He'd got into rhythmic gymnastics at an early age, enrolling in a class while still in kindergarten. It had seemed logical to him at the time that since his father was a professional athlete, Volodya should take up some sport as well.

He liked being a part of a team. He was the youngest one, but that had never been an issue with his teammates. He was more sad about losing the friendships he had built than the sport itself. Still, Volodya didn't anguish too much over his loss. He was the type of person who always looked on the bright side.

"Oh, well, at least now I'll get rid of that nasty stress before a competition," he said in a cheerful voice. "God, how I hated that." Yuri still looked sad, though, and Volodya decided it would be best to change the subject. "So tell me about Yuuri Katsuki. You met him at the GPF too, right? What's he like?" His father refused to give him any information about the man he loved and no matter how much Volodya had tried, he couldn't find anything significant on his own. His father had been right - this Yuuri had almost no presence online.

"He's so annoying. Like some baby bird - literally everything scares him!" Yuri rolled his eyes. "I hate him."

"Wow!" Volodya whistled. "Is this because he beat you at a dance-off?"

"He didn't beat me!" Yuri exclaimed annoyed. "He was drunk as fuck and I decided that it was below me to follow his whim!"

Volodya smiled. He knew Yuri quite well - they had been friends for 5 years - and he knew that Yuri was the sourest of losers. He seemed to be aware of that, as he used it to his advatage when pushing himself to the top. However, like many people who possessed outstanding talent, he enjoyed a good challenge. As odd as it sounded, beating him in something as silly as a dancing competition was probably the surest way for Yuuri to have earned his respect.

"And that guy has _my_ name!" Yuri kept ranting. "Can you imagine how embarrassing that is to me?"

"Well, I think the name is very nice." Volodya smiled.

"Yeah, yeah, you have some fetish about that name, I get it." Yuri looked at the suitcase Volodya had propped against his bed. His toy crab was lying on top of it. "Man, what a fugly thing! You should stay here, throw that thing away and let me be the only Yuri in your life."

Volodya laughed and hugged him.

"You're such a sap! Being jealous of stuffed toys and people I haven't even met yet. I guess you really will miss me to be sayong shit like that, huh?" He kissed Yuri on the cheek tenderly. "I really do spoil you a lot, Yura. No wonder everyone thinks that we're dating."

"That doesn't appear to be bothering you much."

"Well, you're not the worst person I could be fake dating," Volodya said thoughtfully. "To be honest, I don't think it would have mattered how I treat you. My dad has been shipping us since the day we met. I think that if we actually got married, he'll die of happiness."

"It's tempting. But we'll need to change the law first."

"Yeah. We might have to start a revolution." Volodya joked, hoping he could cheer his friend up. But Yuri's face was still sullen. Volodya sighed and nudged him with his elbow. "Hey, don't be like that! If you're gonna be sad, do that after I leave. Don't spoil the mood _now_."

"You don't seem to have any problem with being away from me." Yuri pouted at him, which made Volodya sigh. It seemed like his attempt to lighten the mood had misfired.

"Of course I'm not okay with it, Yura! You don't think I feel miserable about it?" He was probably going to cry, but he didn't want this to happen where Yuri could see him. That would be _embarrassing_ \- they weren't kids anymore! "But what do you want from me? To rebel against my dad and stay here?"

"You don't need to follow him everywhere as if he has you on a leash!"

"True, but I kinda want to. And you're forgetting that if I didn't follow my dad everywhere, we wouldn't have become friends."

"We would have. It's fate!"

Volodya looked at Yuri surprised. His father had said something similar about his Yuuri, he remembered. He smiled, thinking that Yuri and his father weren't that different. Perhaps this was why Yuri held a special place in Volodya's heart. He lied down next to his friend and rested his head on Yuri's stomach.

"You really think it's fate that we're friends?"

"Of course. How do you explain the fact that you're my only friend then?"

"With your wonderful and prickly personality!" Volodya laughed.

"You sure are hell bent on making fun of me today, huh?" Yuri asked grumpily.

He waited for Volodya's answer, but Volodya was silent. He was absently moving his finger on Yuri's shirt, drawing spirals on his stomach.

"Sorry," Yuri spoke with a much softer voice, "I know I'm a dick today."

"When aren't you?" Volodya chuckled. "It's alright. I really wish you could come too, even for a little. I bet you'll like it there."

"Yeah. I wish I could go with you too." Yuri put his hand on Volodya's head, absently stroking his hair as if Volodya was his cat. "It's just ... it's really unfair! I was hoping that ..."

"What?" Volodya asked after Yuri had trailed off.

He waited, but Yuri said nothing. Sensing that something wasn't right, he lifted his head. Yuri had turned his head away and his eyes were glassy. He was about to cry, Volodya realized.

"Yura ..." He sat up and pulled him into a tight hug. "My Yura ... please don't cry. You know that if you do, I ..." The growing lump in his throat choked the rest of the sentence and he hiccuped before putting a hand over his mouth. "You i-idiot ... n-now I'm crying t-too..."

"S-sorry ..." Yuri sniffed. He had his face buried in Volodya's neck and his hands were gripping the back of Volodya's shirt tightly. "I-I just ... this hurts ..."

"I know ..." Volodya's shoulders were shaking. "Shit ..." He sobbed.

Yuri looked up at him. He reached and cupped Volodya's cheek, stroking his skin with his thumb. He was crying too, Volodya saw. Before he could say anything, Yuri leaned closer and pressed his lips against Volodya's, giving him a rather salty kiss.

It lasted no longer than a couple of seconds. Volodya licked his lips and half-sobed, half-chuckled.

"You're such a moron, Yura."

"Well last time I checked, it takes two morons to kiss." Yuri smiled through his tears and pulled Volodya in for a second kiss.

* * *

"Ah ..."

Yuuri stopped mid-jog and knelt down to tie his shoe. His fingers were clumsier than usual and it took him a whole minute to secure the trainer tightly around his ankle.

This day seemed to be going the wrong way. It had started in the morning, with Yuuri accidentally putting salt and not sugar in his tea. It didn't end there, unfortunately. He'd also cut himself while shaving and then, barely even out the door, he'd stepped in a muddy puddle. His trainer had dried off quickly enough, but the unpleasant sensation of foulness remained.

When he'd complained about all his misfortunes, Viktor had jokingly suggested that Yuuri was cursed. Yuuri had laughed along with him. In all honesty, he would have preferred to be cursed. It was much better than having his new coach as the reason for all the accidents that were happening to him.

Two weeks prior, Viktor Nikiforov had stood in front of him, nude as in the day he was born, and had announced he'd be his coach, Yuuri had thought he must be dreaming. It just couldn't be real that Viktor, his idol, a figure skating legend not only in Russia, but the whole world, would leave his life behind and bury himself in a small Japanese town, and all to help out a mediocre skater with no outstanding talent.

Minako-sensei had suggested that Viktor was probably looking for an excuse to retire with dignity. Yuuri wanted to agree with her but he didn't think that Viktor would have chosen to coach _him_ if he wanted to keep his dignity intact. It was much more plausible that Viktor was playing a trick on him. He was more playful than Yuuri had thought, and seemed to enjoy messing with him. He didn't mean to hurt anyone, Yuuri was sure. Viktor just wanted to have fun.

However, now that two weeks had passed, Yuuri couldn't believe that Viktor had been playing a trick on him for _that_ long.

So ... why was he here? Viktor had hinted that he'd found Yuuri's video inspiring, but Yuuri often found himself wondering how that could be. After all, it wasn't as if his video was one of a kind. Hundreds of people, professionals and amateurs, had uploaded videos of themselves skating Viktor's programs. Yuuri had never expected that his video would stand out amongst the others.

He'd actually been hoping it wouldn't.

They didn't even know each other! Yuuri, despite the several opportunities he'd had, had never found the courage to talk to Viktor before. He barely felt worthy of breathing the same air as him!

And now he and Viktor were sleeping under the same roof, they were eating at the same table, they shared the same hot springs, they skated on the same ice - or at least, they would do that, eventually. When Yuuri lost enough weight.

Being so close to Viktor made him happy, but it was also a source of constant anxiety. Yuuri felt as if Viktor being here was something he was never supposed to have, the consequence of a huge cosmic mistake. He was on edge all the time, expecting someone to appear at any moment and take Viktor away.

Of course, that last thought was simply ridiculous. Nobody could forcibly take Viktor away from him. Viktor was a grown man and he'd _chosen_ to be here. If he was to leave, it would be of his own volition. Not that Yuuri wanted that to happen.

Why would he even think that someone could take Viktor away? Who even had so much power over Viktor that they could influence his decisions?

"Someone very close and important to me," Viktor had told him a couple of days ago.

Yuuri tossed his head. So _this_ was what had been making him nervous and clumsy! Viktor's words kept playing in his mind over and over, like a broken record. He couldn't stop thinking about Viktor's special person. Who could he be? Who could be so important to Viktor that he'd be considered special?

His first thought was that Viktor had been talking about his coach. Yuuri had caught a glimpse of him at last year's GPF; a grumpy elderly man who seemed to enjoy yelling at everyone. Yuuri was glad that he'd never had a coach like that - he surely would have broken down under the constant barrage of criticism.

But could a coach be that important for Viktor? Yuuri wasn't so sure about that. Viktor had hinted that he was indeed close with this Yakov, a couple of times casually mentioning that he used to live with him as a teenager. It suggested that Viktor's life hadn't been all roses and sunshine at some point, but Yuuri didn't think it was appropriate to pry about that. He and Viktor weren't that _close_. It seemed like Viktor had relied on his old coach a lot, but Yuuri didn't think that Yakov coming for a visit would excite Viktor so much. And surely Viktor's coach was too busy to travel to Japan. He had skaters he needed to prepare for the next season.

Surely whoever was coming was indeed important, because for the past couple of days Viktor had been unable to hide his happiness. He'd been going around the town's shops, buying all kinds of stuff - clothes, jewelry, even books! He'd explained they were gifts for his mysterious guest. When Yuuri had pointed out that it was a bit unusual to buy souvenirs for people who were coming to visit, Viktor had waved his hand in dismissal.

"I like spoiling him," he'd explained.

His words, vague as they were, did manage to push Yuuri's thoughts in another direction. If this mysterious guest was someone who Viktor liked to spoil, whose arrival made Viktor excited beyond belief ... then it could only be the one that Viktor loved.

The solution was so simple and obvious that Yuuri had to wonder why he hadn't thought of it sooner. Maybe he had subconsciously avoided thinking about it ... because he knew it was the truth and it was killing him.

The whole world knew Viktor as a bachelor, but he wouldn't be the first famous person hiding a relationship behind the mask of a frivolous single life. Viktor had always avoided questions about his personal life in interviews, Yuuri had noticed. Perhaps the reason for that was that he didn't want people knowing that he had a lover.

The fact that Viktor had invited this person - someone whom he kept away from the public's eye - indicated how much he trusted Yuuri with his private life. Under normal circumstances, Yuuri knew he should feel happy, even flattered. He _wanted_ to feel that way, but he couldn't.

He'd always admired Viktor, but he hadn't been aware how strong that feeling was before Viktor arrived. After having spent some time so close to him, Yuuri had realized that the warmth growing in his chest everytime Viktor was around was much more than the simple reverence of an amateur towards the professional athlete.

Learning that he loved someone at the same time as realizing that he could never be with that person was the most painful experience in Yuuri's life.

Yuuri bit his lower lip. For a while now he'd been feeling so frustrated he wanted to scream. It was the only thing that would help him feel better. He didn't want anything from Viktor but to skate with him. He'd never sought to have his feelings returned. He didn't feel hurt that Viktor had someone else whom he loved and who loved him. But ... he didn't want this person to come here.

He was startled when he heard Makachin's bark. When he looked up, Yuuri saw Viktor running towards him. He probably hadn't immediately noticed that Yuuri had fallen behind. He looked slightly worried as he kneeled down in front of Yuuri.

"Yuuri, are you tired?" He asked, stroking his cheek. His touch was soft and gentle and made Yuuri's skin tingle. "Your face is really red. Maybe we should rest today?"

"N-no! There's no need!" Yuuri shook his head. "I'm fine. Just ... my shoe. I had to tie it." He stood up and dusted off his clothes. "I'm ready now."

"Alright then." Viktor smiled as he stood up as well. "How about we run to the beach today? It would be nicer than our usual route, don't you think?"

"Yeah, that will be just fine." Yuuri nodded. Some change in scenery could distract him from his thoughts, even for a little.

While they were running on the beach, with seagulls circling above them, Yuuri kept an eye on Viktor. Even though Viktor always accompanied him during his jogs, he rarely took part in them. He usually rode a bike or played with Makkachin. But the past few days he'd gleefully joined in Yuuri's exercises. As of late, Viktor had been in such a good mood - likely because of the upcoming visit - that it made Yuuri wonder if Viktor had truly been happy before.

Yuuri frowned and tossed his head. No, he shouldn't think about that. The only thing that would come out thoughts like these would be depression.

Later, while they were having dinner, Viktor brought up the one thing Yuuri didn't want to discuss.

"Yuuri, before I forget - I'll need to go pick up my guest tomorrow afternoon, so you'll have to exercise alone. I hope you're not mad at me!"

"Oh, no. No, it's fine, of course. I have nothing to be mad at you for." Yuuri gave Viktor a smile. He didn't want to talk about this any more, so he pushed a red pepper in his mouth. It was bitter, which suited his mood perfectly.

Viktor, however, was in the mood to ramble.

"I think he'll like it here. It's all so serene here! He needs some peace and quiet." He was carefree and didn't seem to realize that each word he spoke was like a knife plunged into Yuuri's heart. "I think the hot springs will be good for him. Doctors perscribe it for injuries, right? I think they do. But even if they don't, I think it will still be good for him."

"A-ah ... Viktor, could you tell me who this person is?" Yuuri asked. He didn't really want to know, but regardless of his feelings, he was going to meet this mysterious individual the next day. He would have liked to know something about Viktor's partner beforehand, so that he could prepare for the meeting as best as he could.

Viktor, however, just smiled and shook his finger at him.

"You'll have to wait a little longer for that, Yuuri! I bet you're pretty curious to know, hm? I suppose it's not fair of me to ask for your hospitality without giving you any information to work with, but I promise I have a reason to keep it a secret. I can't tell you why now, but you'll find out tomorrow."

Yuuri wondered why Viktor thought he needed to act so vague. After all, what was the point of keeping the identity of someone a secret if that identity would be revealed the next day? It didn't make any sense.

Living with Viktor for two had taught him that it was best to just to do what viktor told him and not ask any questions. Besides, as Viktor had just said, Yuuri would learn everything he wanted to know tomorrow. There was no need to think about this until then.

Then ... why couldn't he stop thinking about it?

Yuuri went to bed early, explaining that he was tired. It wasn't a lie as he did feel mentally and physically exhausted. But he couldn't fall asleep. Viktor's voice was flowing through the open window. Viktor liked to stay after dinner and enjoy some beer or wine. Yuuri's dad often joined him. He'd told Yuuri that he found Viktor quite interesting to talk to. Yuuri wasn't sure what those two could talk about, knowing that his father's English was very limited. He had the suspicion that they often talked about _him_.

Viktor never invited Yuuri to drink with him, and Yuuri was glad he didn't. He knew how wild he would become when he was drunk and he didn't want Viktor to witness that.

Yuuri was tossing in bed restlessly. He wondered what Viktor's lover might look like. Surely he must be his equal - Viktor would hardly be content dating a person who was his inferior. He also had to be just as successful and handsome as Viktor to be worthy of being by Viktor's side.

In other words ... Viktor's lover sounded like a total opposite of Yuuri.

He winced and curled in a ball. Why was he doing this to himself?! Even if Viktor wasn't in a relationship, Yuuri was aware he didn't stand a chance with him. Yuuri was just so ... plain! He had nothing that would hold Viktor's interest for long.

He wondered what Viktor's lover thought of _him_. Viktor often called someone on the phone Yuuri had overheard him. His conversations were in Russian, though, so Yuuri couldn't understand a word he was saying. Not that he'd eavesdropped, of course! It was just that Viktor's voice was loud and Yuuri couldn't help but overhear him sometimes.

Viktor may not want to reveal anything about his lover, but surely he must have told his lover about Yuuri. How did that person feel about Yuuri? He couldn't be happy with being left behind when Viktor came to Japna. It was very likely that he blamed Yuuri for that action. Maybe ... maybe his visit here was because he wanted to take Viktor back?

How would this person react upon seeing how Viktor treated Yuuri? Since his arrival, Viktor had been nothing but friendly with Yuuri, sometimes even crossing the boundaries of propriety. He didn't seem to mind being nude around Yuuri and touching him everywhere. The others were quick to accept this kind of behaviour, but Yuuri - the main recipient of it - couldn't.

It was akward enough for Yuuri when it was just him and Viktor, but having Viktor's lover mixed in as well made things even worse. What if ... this person somehow figured out how Yuuri felt about Viktor? Viktor himself seemed unaware of it - much to Yuuri's relief - but he couldn't rely that his lover would be fooled as well.

It was possible that after Viktor's lover arrived, Viktor would tone down his behaviour. But this was just as bad an outcome for Yuuri. Viktor's closeness embarrassed him, but it also made him happy. It showed that to some degree, Viktor _accepted_ him. He accepted the real Yuuri, the one who was standing in front of him, the awkward, utterly incompetent loser. And this, as crazy as it sounded, made Yuuri feel infinitely better about himself.

He sighed. Viktor may think that tomorrow would be a nice day, but to Yuuri it foreboded nothing but trouble.

In the end he didn't get any sleep. When morning came, Yuuri felt miserable. Exercising was the last thing on his mind but he had to plaster a smile on his face and pretend that everything was alright. He didn't want Viktor to see how tormented he felt on the inside.

Viktor left for the airport at noon. He'd told Yuuri that he could relax a bit this afternoon, and Yuuri decided to take his advice. As soon as Viktor had taken off, he went straight to his bedroom and collapsed on his bed. He fell asleep so fast he barely felt Makkachin plopping down next to him.

When he woke up, his room was dark. Yuuri lazily extended an arm from under his blanket and felt around for his phone. He waned to see what time it was. After flailing his arm blindly, knocking down an empty glass in the process, he gave up and retracted his arm. Viktor should already be back with his guest, he thought. Makkachin wasn't in his bed anymore - he must have gone to greet them. Yuuri knew he should do the same, but he didn't feel like it. He wanted to stay in bed and ignore the rest of the world. He could greet Viktor's guest tomorrow.

But if he did that ... Viktor might be disappointed.

With a sigh Yuuri slid out of bed. He gave his hair a few pats to make himself more presentable and then went to search for Viktor and his guest.

He found them sitting at the table. It seemed like they'd just had dinner, as a set of empty bowls was in front of them. Viktor was leaning on the table, talking animatedly in Russian. The other person, however, wasn't listening to him. At the very least, he had his back turned to Viktor, seemingly more interested in a painting that hung on the wall. Yuuri couldn't see his face, so his first impression of Viktor's lover was snowy white hair, pulled in a ponytail, and a narrow back. There was something off about this person, Yuuri thought. He looked too _small_.

"Ah, Yuuri!" Viktor exclaimed when he stepped into the room.

The guest turned around so fast that his hair went flying, whipping his torso as he shifted his focus from the painting to Yuuri. He was a _child_ , Yuuri realized shocked. There was no way this boy - who looked 15 at most - could be Viktor's lover! He welcomed the relief that spread through him, though it was mixed with a bit of shame. He now felt quite embarrassed about having jumped to such a wild conclusion.

"Yuuri, this is Volodya," Viktor said with a smile.

"Oh, hi," Yuuri said.

Volodya pushed a few strands of hair away from his face to return the smile and in doing so, he revealed a pair of rather large mismatched eyes. Yuuri's next words died in his throat as he realized he knew those eyes, though it had been years since he'd last seen them.

One day, almost a decade ago, Yuuri had travelled to Tokyo to watch Viktor Nikiforov skate. It had taken him _weeks_ to convince his parents to let him go. They had finally agreed, but only because Yuuko would be going as well. Yuuri remembered how happy he'd felt when he'd boarded the train to Tokyo, the train that would take him to Viktor!

It had been everything Yuuri had dreamed it would be! His seat was on the second row and he felt that if he just stretched his hand, he'd be able to touch Viktor. In all honesty, Yuuri had been so excited to see Viktor that he only had eyes for him. Even though he'd stayed for the entire competition, he couldn't remember any other routine but Viktor's.

On their way to the train station Yuuri had been drunk with joy despite the fact that he didn't get to see Viktor up close. Perhaps this was why he'd done something which he would have otherwise been too embarrassed to do. The sight of the child, so tiny and with his nose pressed against the window, was so heart-wrenching. It was easy to figure out he wanted that crab toy - he couldn't tear his eyes away from it. And Yuuri, wanting to share his joy with the rest of the world, had waltzed right into the store and had bought it! The toy hadn't been cheap at all, and he ended up needing to borrow money for the ticket back home, but it had been worth it. He could still remember how the boy's eyes - one brown and the other a captivating amber color - had sparkled as he held the toy in his arms.

Who would have thought that they'd ever meet again? And _here_ , of all places!

The boy was looking at him with a serious apprasing look that under other circumstances would be comical. He didn't recognize him, thankfully. Yuuri would die if Viktor ever found out about what had happened between him and Volodya. He wondered just what the boy was to Viktor. Just what about him made him _special_ to Viktor?

Viktor must have sensed what he was thinking, because his answer came before Yuuri could even open his mouth.

"Volodya's my son, Yuuri."

"That..."

... was impossible, Yuuri wanted to say. Volodya was ... well, he was too old! Was this just a joke? No, it couldn't be. Both Viktor and Volodya looked dead serious.

Yuuri's vision swam. Did that mean that ... all these years ago ... when he'd bought that toy for Volodya, Viktor had been somewhere close? Could he have seen what Yuuri had done? Was that why he'd come to coach Yuuri?

No, no, that was ridiculous! Even if Viktor had witnessed Yuuri's actions, there was no way he'd known it was Yuuri. That is ... Yuuri had told Volodya his name back them ... but that had been over ten years ago! Surely ... surely Viktor wouldn't remember it.

He could feel Volodya and Viktor's eyes on him. It was unnerving, much worse than the stares of the audience and judges during a competition. Why were they looking at him like that? Could they hear how fast his heart was beating? Could they see how he was shaking?

He needed to get away, right now. He took a step backwards, but then the floor opened up and leapt towards him. Then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, this chapter is way too long, lol! How do you like my take on Viktor's past and his thoughts about the banquet?
> 
> Some notes about the story (they're not really important to the plot, just interesting bits of trivia):
> 
> \- I have this headcanon that Viktor isn't comfortable with hospitals, not because of any personal experience with them, but because they remind him how dependent he is on his body to be a success.
> 
> \- Volodya broke his leg about 2-3 days before Viktor was to leave for the GPF. It was so bad he had to have surgery and stay in hospital for a while. This explains why he wasn't at the GPF and didn't meet Yuuri then.
> 
> \- My headcanon about Yakov's divorce it that it happened before he became Viktor's coach (which happened when Viktor was 16). Lilia met Viktor and Volodya later, when Volodya was sick with the flu and neither VIktor nor Yakov knew what to do because it was the first time they had seen a sick child. In desperation, Yakov called Lilia for help.
> 
> \- The game Viktor and Volodya play in the hospital is actually something my mother used to play with me and my brother. It's a lot longer and it includes more animals like rabbits, elephants and lions too.
> 
> \- The photo of "Makkachin with that seaweed" Volodya refers to is one that Viktor took of his dog on the beach. After rolling in seaweed, Makkachin was left with some on its head that looked like a wig. Viktor took a photo of it and added two cartoon shells on Makkachin's body and sent the picture to Volodya, saying that Makkachin was a mermaid now.
> 
> \- Even though I ship Yuri and Volodya, I'm not really sure if I'm going to make them a couple in this story. For now I'm writing their friendship as something more than platonic, but I'm not sure if it will last till the end of the story.
> 
> \- If the writing seems somewhat repetitive, it's because I made Volodya, Viktor and Yuuri use similar phrases to show how connected they are. I hope it doesn't look too dull that way!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Volodya meet, again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally done with this chapter! Thanks to everyone for being so patient and wonderful!
> 
> Like last time, this chapter is split into 4 parts, each from a certain point of view - Volodya's, Viktor's or Yuuri's. It takes place during episode two, but before Yurio's arrival (that'll happen in chapter 3!) and it mainly shows the dynamic between Viktor, Yuuri and Volodya.
> 
> I hpe you like it, please leave a comment if you like it. Or leave one if you don't, telling me why, lol! Also, if you have any questions, you can always message me on tumblr, my (side) blog is yoionmymind.

For a while both Volodya and Viktor were silent. Volodya looked at his father and saw, with a bit of grim joy, that his smile had faded. He adjusted his hair, fastening his ponytail, before getting up and going to the figure on the floor. He crouched beside it, studying the unconscious man with interest. So _this_ was Yuuri, the one that had captured his father's heart.

"He seems nice," he said out loud.

"He is. You'll see when he wakes up." Viktor had followed his son and was now sitting on the floor, cradling Yuuri's head on his lap and playing with his hair. When Volodya reached out and poked Yuuri in the cheek, his father shooed his hand away. "Don't do that, _солнце_ ," he scolded him softly, though he couldn't help but smile at his son's childish act.

"Sorry, couldn't help myself." Volodya turned to Viktor with a smile. "Dad, I really don't want to do it, but I think I have to say it: I _told_ you so! Now do you see what happens when you hide important things from the person you love? I told you - you needed to tell Yuuri about me before I arrived."

It annoyed him how calm his father was. If the person Volodya loved had just fainted in front of him, Volodya was sure he'd be hysterical. He knew that Viktor should be feeling this way too, and the only reason that his father wasn't acting distraught was probably because he realized the current situation was entirely his fault.

"Oh, _солнце_!" Viktor pinched Volodya's cheek. "I'm pretty sure Yuuri would have reacted like this no matter how or when I told him about you. It's a pretty big reveal either way, don't you think?" He looked at Yuuri and a warm smile spread across his face. He ran his fingers through Yuuri's hair a few times. "I'll go get a wet towel or something. I think that helped with fainting, right? I've seen it in movies." He stood up. "You'll be ok here, right, _солнце_?"

"Yeah, I think so. I mean, he ain't going anywhere, right?" Volodya joked.

Viktor chuckled and then left. Now alone, Volodya sighed. He drew his legs to his chest and rested his chin on his knees. What an odd conclusion to an equally odd day!

He had faith in his father and he would never criticize his actions - at least, not too severely - but Volodya still thought that it wasn't fair of Viktor to hide the fact that he was a parent. After all ... if Yuuri were to have a relationship with Viktor, he'd certainly need to have one with Volodya too, right? Not a _romantic_ one, of course, but ... they had to be friends, at least. If things between Yuuri and Viktor were as serious as his father had presented them ... then it meant that, at some point in the future, the three of them would be a family.

A family with two grown-ups sounded pleasant, Volodya thought. But if Yuuri hadn't knows that he existed, he couldn't have planned on Volodya being in his future. And now that he knew the truth ... would he even want him there? After all ... it was Viktor he wanted, not Viktor _and_ Volodya.

Volodya pursed his lips, then frowned and tossed his head, as if that would make the disturbing thought disappear.

"What a stupid kid you are!" He scolded himself. He kept his voice low, even though the only other person in the room was in no condition to hear him. "Your father knows what he's doing. And you're only 14! Stop thinking about such complicated stuff!"

He sat pouting for a while, before he reached out and took Yuuri's glasses. Viktor had taken them off and laid them on the floor so that they wouldn't get damaged. Volodya held them in his hands for a few seconds before trying them on, gingerly adjusting them on his face. He blinked a couple of times when he realized how strong they were and then quickly removed them.

"Wow!" He exclaimed out loud. "You're as blind as a bat! How do you manage to see _anything_ on the ice?"

Yuuri, of course, said nothing. Volodya stared at him for a while. This was the first time he'd seen someone faint and it had been an interesting experience. However, now he was beginning to worry. Hadn't Yuuri been out cold for too long? What if he'd hit his head and was now in a coma?

He frowned and shook his head. No, he was sure that Yuuri was fine. Once his father returned with his wet towel, he'd wake Yuuri up and he and Volodya could finally meet properly. But if Yuuri was in a coma, then surely a wet towel wouldn't be able to wake him up.

Maybe it would be better if Volodya checked, before his father returned?

Having made up his mind, he promptly struck Yuuri on the cheek. The blow wasn't as hard as he could have made it, but it was effective. Yuuri groaned in pain, then stirred a little, turning to lie on his side. He mumbled something which sounded like Viktor's name before finally opening his eyes.

"Awesome! I'm like an action hero!" Volodya cheered while Yuuri sat up and rubbed his face. His cheek was bright red where he'd been slapped. Volodya watched him feel around for his glasses. He took them from the floor and handed them to Yuuri. "Looking for these?"

"Oh, thanks." Yuuri put his glasses on. When his eyes met Volodya's, he flushed and quickly turned his head away. "Um ... Where's Viktor ...?"

"He went to look for a towel," Volodya explained with a smile. He liked that the first thing Yuuri did was ask for Viktor, it was a good sign. "So ... let me introduce myself properly. I'm Vladimir, but I prefer to be called Volodya."

"Yeah ... um ... Yuuri. A-ahh ... you can just call me Yuuri..."

They shook hands. Yuuri the same frightened look as before, which made Volodya wary, as it seemed that he would faint again. As strange as it was, It appeared that Yuuri was frightened by Volodya. Volodya was perplexed and a bit amused, but he still felt an odd sense of power. After all, it wasn't every day that someone almost ten years his senior found him intimidating.

At the same time, Volodya knew that if he wanted his father and Yuuri to be happy together, then he and Yuuri had to build a good relationship with each other, and that could only happen if Yuuri felt comfortable around Volodya. Intent on not letting his father down, Volodya moved slightly closer to Yuuri and gave him his kindest smile.

"I hope that me being here won't be a problem," he said. "My dad says you're training very hard. I won't cause you any troubles, will I?"

"Oh, no, of course you won't. You're more than welcome here." Yuuri gave him a smile. Despite his nervousness, the gesture seemed genuine and Volodya relaxed a bit. "Ah ... Sorry I reacted so dramatically ... I ... I wasn't expecting you. I didn't know that Viktor was ... I mean ... that you're his ... um ..."

Volodya watched Yuuri struggle with his words. He was quite amused and was starting to understand why his father was so enthralled by this person. Yuuri did look adorable when he was so flustered. At the same time, there was something else about him, a subtle aura of frailty, that made even Volodya - so much younger than Yuuri - want to wrap him in a warm blanket and keep him safe from the world.

"Oh my god, I think my dad has a saviour's complex," he murmured in Russian and Yuuri gave him a confused look. Volodya laughed and switched to English. "Don't worry about it. Very few people know I'm his son, even back home. My dad doesn't really want the public to know about me."

Viktor had explained to him that he wasn't hiding Volodya because he was ashamed of his son - a statement that had caught Volodya by surprise because the thought that his father could be ashamed of him had never passed his mind. The actual reason for Viktor keeping Volodya's existence a secret was that he wanted to give his son a peaceful life. As peaceful life with Viktor Nikiforov could ever be, at least.

Viktor had told him that he didn't want Volodya to suffer the same fate that befell many children of celebrities. Volodya had retorted that it was very unlikely anyone would care about him, even if they knew he was Viktor's son, but he'd ultimately let his father do what he thought was best. It was easier that way.

"Still, it's not that my dad hides me very much," Volodya added thoughtfully. "I mean, he says he wants to, but he's not very discreet about me, I think. Like, he always takes me with him at competitions and there are a lot of photos of us hugging and stuff like that." He laughed. "Actually, the media in Russia is very curious about who I am exactly. There are a lot of weird rumours going around, you know? I think the weirdest thing someone's written about me was this one conspiracy blogger who thought I was Viktor's clone."

"His clone?" Yuuri laughed.

"Yup!" Volodya nodded. "That guy was really something. He'd developed this whole conspiracy theory about how Viktor Nikiforov is an artificially created athlete whose lifespan is only a few years and so every 2 or so years he gets replaced by a clone - and that's why he's still a top skater even at 27! And this blogger said that I was the next clone that was to replace the current Viktor clone and so that's why I was hanging around him during competitions, so that I could learn how to act like Viktor and not raise any suspicions. Which, y'know, is kinda ironic, since apparently my very presence raised his suspicions!"

The two laughed. Volodya noted happily that Yuuri seemed to have calmed down quite a bit. Even the slap mark Volodya had left on him had almost disappeared. He stood up and was about to offer Yuuri some help getting on his feet when Viktor came back. His father held a damp towel in his hand and for a moment, he looked slightly disappointed to see that Yuuri was already awake. But that displeasure quickly faded away when he saw how happy both Yuuri and his son were.

"Yuuri, I can see that you're feeling better now."

"Y-yeah ..." Yuuri blushed lightly. He took the towel he was offered and wiped his face. "A-ah .. I'm sorry if I worried you ... w-with my fainting and all ..."

"It's alright. I'm glad to see you're alright." Viktor smiled as he pulled Yuuri up. "And I'm also glad to see you two getting along so well."

"Of course we are, dad!" Volodya exclaimed before Yuuri could reply. He didn't want his father to hear about the slapping. "I was just telling Yuuri that I was your clone."

"Oh, that story?" Viktor chuckled. "Yeah, Volodya and I found it hilarious. I'd show you the article, but it's in Russian and I don't think you'll understand much." He gave Yuuri a soft smile. "Now why don't you go lie down, hm? You've had quite the shock, and you need to rest well so that you'll be in top shape for tomorrow."

"Y-yeah, I'll do that ... but I think I'll eat something first. I don't think I've eaten anything since breakfast ..."

"Alright then." Viktor patted him on the back. "Come, _солнце_ , let Yuuri eat in peace, ok? We can go to your room, I'll help you unpack."

Volodya rolled his eyes, but followed his father out of the room. He was certain that his father had no desire to unpack even a single sock from his luggage. He just wanted to be alone with Volodya so that he could talk with him about Yuuri.

Sometimes his father could be a bigger teenager than him, Volodya thought amused.

He followed Viktor to the room where he'd be staying. It wasn't very cosy, mainly because it consisted of four bare walls and a square floor. It lacked any kind of individuality, which Volodya found a bit creepy. But surely it would get better when the rest of his luggage arrived and he could decorate it to his likings.

Unlike his father's room, Volodya's was void of any furnishing. It didn't even have a bed, but luckily Yuuri's sister had found him a futon to sleep on. She had remarked that it wouldn't be as comfortable as a real bed, but he'd waved her concerns away. He thought it would be fun to use a futon - he could imagine he was in college.

"Well," his father spoke after Volodya had closed the door, "tell me everything! What did you think about Yuuri? Isn't he wonderful? What did you talk about? Did he say something about me?"

"Dad!" Volodya laughed. "Slow down a bit. You were gone for a few minutes only, and Yuuri was dead half the time. We didn't talk much."

"But you still talked?" Viktor insisted. He sat on the floor and pulled Volodya down as well. He started braiding his hair, like he always did when he was excited. "I heard you two talking. And you said you told Yuuri about that whole clone thing."

"Well, we did talk a little," Volodya admitted. "To be honest, Yuuri's a bit too nervous for my liking, but he seems nice. He has his charm, I think."

"He's nervous now because he doesn't know you so well. When he gets used to you, he'll behave better."

"I hope so. But really, what's important is how he treats _you_ , right?" Volodya asked as he turned around to look at his father. Viktor looked confused for a moment, then he shook his head lightly.

"Hmm ... I don't think so. After all, _солнце_ , I want you and Yuuri to become close. Because, you know, he will be your dad."

"Aren't you getting a little bit ahead of things?" Volodya chuckled. "You two aren't even dating yet!"

"It's true that we haven't discussed how we feel about each other yet," Viktor admitted with a sour voice. "But there's no way he can become my partner without your acceptance - or blessing, if you will. _Солнце_ , don't you understand? The moment Yuuri and I get together, he becomes a part of our family, which means he'll be your second dad."

"Third," Volodya corrected him with a light smile.

"The first one doesn't count." Viktor finished the braid and then wrapped his arms around Volodya. He pulled him close and kissed him on the forehead. "You know, _солнце_ , I didn't think about this before, but you might get a bit bored here with Yuuri and me constantly training ..."

"Don't worry about me, dad. I'm sure I'll find something to do. Besides, I kinda wanna see you as a coach."

"I'm actually doing pretty well as a coach," Viktor boasted, which made Volodya roll his eyes at him. "What? I really do! Yuuri hasn't complained about my coaching even once."

"Maybe he's just too nervous to complain," Volodya teased. "He probably thinks you're a terrible coach but he's scared to tell you."

"Or he loves me too much to say something so mean." His father smiled. "But I know I'm not a bad coach. I think that when Yakov sees me, he'll be very impressed."

"Ahh ... he might not be, if he's still mad at you. And ... he kinda is still mad at you, dad ..."

"Is it because I didn't stay like he asked me to?" Viktor shrugged. "He'll soon forget about it. Don't worry, _солнце_."

Volodya doubted that statement. Soon after his father had left Russia, Yakov had given a very rage-filled interview where he bashed Viktor quite harshly. He wondered if his father knew about it.

"Yakov is the happiest when he has someone he can be angry with," Viktor continued cheerfully. "Usually that someone is me."

"Gee, I wonder why ..."

"I dunno," he replied with an innocent voice, all sarcasm being lost on him. "Maybe it's because he's known me for a long time and he knows I won't be mad at him."

"That's probably it." Volodya smiled. He buried his face in Viktor's neck and took in his aroma. Beneath the familiar notes he could distinguish something new and a bit exotic. He figured his father's fragrance must have changed, absorbing some of the scents from his new surroundings. "I missed you so much, dad!"

"I missed you too, _солнце_." Viktor's voice was gentler than usual. He placed a hand on the back of Volodya's neck and squeezed his shoulder lightly. "Let's never be this far apart again, hm?"

"Yeah ..." Volodya sniffed.

Viktor lifted his son's head and smiled softly when he saw the tears that were threatening to spill.

" _Солнце_ , why are you crying now? Aren't you happy?"

"I don't know ... I mean, yes, I am happy." Volodya furrowed his eyebrows and wiped his tears away. He was annoyed with himself for his sudden weakness. "I ... I think I'm just a bit homesick."

"I understand. I feel sad about home too." Viktor nodded. "This place is really nice, but it's not really the same, huh?"

"Yeah."

"And yet," his father smiled and kissed him on the cheek, "I hope you'll give it a chance. You might like it."

* * *

The windows were glowing so brightly that it was hard to see the snow piling against the glass. The room was bathed in a warm orange light that didn't seem to havbe coming from anywhere in particular; the firepit, the only discernible source of light, was empty.

This was a dream. Viktor was aware, somehow, that he was sleeping but that didn't stop him from enjoying what was happening. He knew where he was, even though it had been a long time since he'd last visited this place. He was in a mountain cabin where he and Volodya had spent the winter holidays many years ago. A nasty storm had almost snowed them in, but Viktor still had fond memories of this old-fashioned house.

The interior of the cabin was the same as back then, with old furniture and woven rugs, but the exterior was starkly different. The lake, which in real life was over a kilometre away, was now just outside the front porch. It was frozen, like it had been back then, but now the ice that covered it was purple and glowing.

Volodya was nowhere to be seen, but Yuuri was there, on the ice. He was wearing an outfit similar to Viktor's, but in a different colour. Viktor watched him skate with a soft smile. Yuuri was doing Viktor's program again, but this time his movement was much smoother. He even managed to do a triple Salchow. Then he saw Viktor, who suddenly found himself in the centre of the lake, without having moved at all. Yuuri grinned and skated towards him with his arms stretched out.

Viktor was smiling too. He went to Yuuri, held his hands and tangled their fingers together. Yuuri must have skated for hours, and Viktor expected his hands would be cold. But they weren't. He felt the warmth spread through his veins. He smiled and pulled Yuuri closer as the two skated together, holding tightly on to each other.

The piercing screech of his alarm shattered the vision into a million pieces, but it couldn't erase the warm feeling in Viktor's chest. He turned his alarm off and then stretched in bed, trying to recall everything he could about his dream. He dreamt of Yuuri often enough, but this one was the most pleasant one so far.

This was undoubtedly because he'd slept so well last night. Volodya's arrival had lifted a burden off his chest that Viktor hadn't even been aware of. When he'd seen his son at the airport the previous day, Viktor had felt so happy and relieved. He knew that Volodya would make everything alright and that all his troubles would be over soon. Perhaps this was why he couldn't control himself when he'd embraced his son. He'd hugged him so tightly that Volodya had winced in pain.

When Viktor went to eat breakfast, he saw that Yuuri was already sitting at the table. Volodya wasn't there, but his absence didn't surprise Viktor. His son was tired from his trip - he'd been yawning like crazy the previous day - so he was probably still sleeping.

Yuuri blushed when he saw Viktor and quickly moved his gaze from the door to his knees. Viktor was by now used to his shyness, so he didn't let it bother him too much.

"Good morning." He sat down next to Yuuri. Yuuri had already finished his breakfast and there was a half-eaten bowl of fruit in front of him. Viktor helped himself to a few apple slices. "Did you sleep well, Yuuri?"

"Y-yes, I did, thank you." Yuuri blushed. "Ah ... um ... is Volodya still in bed?"

"Probably." Viktor nodded as he munched on the fruit. "I think he may be jet-lagged or something. It happens to him sometimes, but he'll be fine, don't worry."

"Oh, yeah, that happened to me last year too..."

Viktor didn't listen too carefully to Yuuri story. Instead, he found himself lose while gazing at Yuuri. He looked really handsome, Viktor thought, with his hair falling over his eyes, black strands smoothly shifting each time Yuuri moved his head. It was a captivating sight.

Viktor watched Yuuri for a few seconds before speaking again.

"I hope that once Volodya feels better, the three of us can do something together."

"Oh? Like what?"

"We could take him somewhere, maybe show him around. Volodya loves shopping, so I bet he'll love all those little shops around town." Viktor gave Yuuri a smile and shook his finger at him. "But don't think this will stand in the way of your training."

"Oh, I wasn't thinking that!" Yuuri chuckled.

He took a sip from his tea. Viktor watched him with a smile. He noted that Yuuri looked much happier than he'd been these last few days. He wondered if Volodya's arrival could have triggered this shift in his mood. He liked to think that was the case.

With Yuuri being in such a good mood, Viktor thought the moment was appropriate for him to apologize to Yuuri for deceiving him about his son. He swallowed the last bits of fruit in his mouth and moved closer, putting a hand on Yuuri's shoulder.

"Yuuri, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Volodya earlier. I really wanted to surprise you."

Yuuri had flinched at the touch. He looked at Viktor warily, but didn't move away. Viktor jotted that down as an improvement.

"Well," Yuuri let out a nervous chuckle, which sounded a bit hysterical, "you certainly managed to surprise me with him."

"Yeah, I guess I did do that." Viktor laughed softly. "I didn't expect you to faint, however. I thought that you'd just ... well, actually, I had no idea how you'd react. That was kinda why I wanted to surprise you. But I'm glad you didn't get hurt."

"Y-yeah, I ... I really didn't even suspect you had a son..."

"I don't share that with many people," Viktor explained. "I didn't want Volodya to be hounded by journalists when he was little, and honestly, it's become something of a habit to keep him a secret by now." He tapped his lips with his finger. "Actually, a few months ago, around the GPF, I was thinking that maybe it was time to reveal who Volodya is. It is getting kind of nasty to just hide him like I'm ashamed of him, don't you think?"

"Um ... I suppose?"

"I'm glad you agree with me!" Viktor clasped his hands together. "I was thinking of doing it after I won the gold at the GPF last year, but then Volodya got his leg broken and he wasn't there with me. I think he ought to be by my side when I make the announcement, right?"

Yuuri nodded, although his slightly perplexed expression indicated he had difficulties following Viktor's train of thought. Viktor ignored it as he continued talking.

"You know what I just thought of! I can reveal that Volodya is my son after you win gold! This will be perfect, right?"

"A-ah, Viktor, wai-wait!" Yuuri rose from his seat and waved his hands frantically. "P-please don't involve me in this, this should be between you and Volodya. And besides, what if I don't win gold? It's not even certain that I'll be able to qualify for the GPF this year!"

"Of course that you'll qualify! I have complete faith in your skills and in my coaching!" Viktor smiled and then leaned closer to Yuuri. "Well, what do you think about my son? Isn't he simply amazing in every way?"

"I ... yeah, I think he'd a really good kid." Yuuri nodded, his mahogany eyes shining softly. "You two seem very close."

"We are!" Viktor confirmed enthusiastically. "You know, I felt connected to Volodya the moment I saw him for the first time. There was just something in me that told me that I needed to adopt him."

"Adopt?" Yuuri exclaimed out loud. He blushed and looked at his feet while he sunk down on the floor. "Sorry ... I didn't know ... I thought that ... um ..."

"Did you think I was Volodya's biological father?" Viktor asked with a wide grin. He was quite amused by Yuuri's assumption. "This means I would have become a parent at the age of 13, Yuuri!"

"I'm sorry ..." Yuuri mumbled ashamed.

"It's alright. It actually doesn't matter that I'm not Volodya's biological father." Viktor shrugged. "Do you want to hear the story?"

"Oh, sure. Sounds ... interesting." Yuuri nodded. He leaned on the table, ready to listen.

"Alright. It's kinda a long story. See, I adopted Volodya when I was 18. He was four years old then and I met him when I donated some toys and other stuff to his orphanage. Honestly, I'd always known I'd end up adopting a child one day, but I didn't think it would happen to me while I was still a teenager. And let me tell you, it wasn't easy to get the people around me to agree with my decision." He sighed, running his hand through his hair. It had been a long time since he last thought about his experiences with adopting Volodya. He'd forgotten how tough those times had been. "It seemed like everyone, including Yakov, were against me in my efforts to adopt Volodya. And honestly, looking back, I can understand their hesitation. But back then, when I was still just a kid myself, I thought that I could do everything if I just set my mind to it and had good intentions. I even felt offended that they didn't believe I'd be a good father!"

"Well, in the end, you were right, weren't you?" Yuuri, who'd been listening to Viktor in a daze, suddenly spoke up. He flushed and continued quickly. "You actually did get to adopt Volodya in the end, right? And it seems like you're doing a good job."

"Well, now I know how to be a good dad, but to be honest, it wasn't so easy when I started," Viktor admitted. "I mean, it was easy being a dad during the good times - like playing with Volodya, buying him stuff and teaching him to read. But when things went bad, I was clueless about what to do."

"Oh ... so things got bad at some point?" Yuuri blinked.

"Well, yeah. I mean, things can't always go well, can they?" Viktor asked. Of course, he wanted his son to never feel despair or sadness, but unfortunately, that was feat that no one could do, not even Viktor Nikiforov. The best he could do for Volodya was love and support him unconditionally and hope for the best. "And with Volodya, things were even worse than usual. You see, my dear Volodya didn't have a happy start in life. He was abandoned by his mother and was left in the care of a horrible father who didn't really care about him. Thankfully, he didn't have to live with him for too long, but even the short time he spent in such an unhappy home left him with some scars." He frowned lightly. "It's ... not a pretty sight, honestly, and the first few times it happened, I was so stunned I couldn't react at all. I'm afraid that my inexperience back then could have done some huge damage to my sweet Volodya. Thankfully, now I've learned what to do."

Viktor sighed. This was the first time he admitted to anyone that he might have been less than a stellar father. Volodya himself had never complained about anything Viktor might have done but that didn't stop Viktor from worrying that he might not be doing as good of a job as he would have wanted. But then again, most parents probably had the same worries. Or at least, those that really cared did.

It wasn't a pleasant thing to think about; Viktor loathed the thought that his son could ever be anything less than happy. He forced a smile on his face and changed the topic.

"So, Yuuri, will you be going to Minako's today?"

"No," Yuuri shook his head, "she said she needed to visit some relatives, so the studio is closed for today."

"Oh, that's perfect, we can train together!" Viktor clapped his hands. "It'll be fun, right? I can make up for being absent yesterday too!" He smiled, unheeding of Yuuri's slightly frightened face. "Now that Volodya is here, the two of us need to work even harder."

"Oh? W-why?" Yuuri stuttered.

"Because he's an impressionable teenager and he needs a good example, don't you think?" Viktor ate the last of Yuuri's fruit and then stood up. "I'll go change and we can leave."

"O-ok ..."

When Viktor entered the hallway that led to the bedrooms, he saw that Volodya was standing in front of his room. He was wearing his pyjamas and to Viktor, he looked very cute, with his hair pulled up in a messy bun. As usual, Volodya had let a few strands of hair fall in front of his eyes. He was standing in the middle of the hallways with a confused look on his face. His bleary eyes lit up when he saw Viktor.

"Good morning, _солнце_." Viktor went to his son and hugged him. Volodya felt warmer than usual, he must have just got out of bed. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yup." Volodya smiled. "It's so peaceful here, dad! Like, there was no street noise at all, it was so weird! And the flowers outside my window smell so nice and _real_! It's like I was camping!" He paused and then continued with an embarrassed voice. "But I kinda forgot where the bathroom is ..."

It was then that Viktor noticed his son was carrying a towel and his wash bag. He probably wanted to go brush his teeth, but had found it hard to navigate his new surroundings.

"It's down that corridor," Viktor said, pointing the way. "Yuuri and I are going out jogging. I'd invite you too, but I don't think you'll be able to keep up with us." Volodya shook his head. "I thought so. Well, we'll be back for lunch and we can do something together later. And while we're out, you should go soak in the hot spring. It's very nice."

"I-I ... I think I'll pass ..."

"Why?" Viktor wondered why Volodya was suddenly blushing. "It'll be good for your leg."

"Y-yeah, it probably will, but ... w-well ..." Viktor thought that his son and Yuuri looked very similar when they were flustered. "I'll need to take my clothes off, won't I?"

"Well, of course." Viktor laughed. "You'll look weird going in the water with your clothes on, _солнце_."

"Yeah, I get that!" For a moment, his embarrassment was overshadowed by irritation, but it quickly rose above again. "But ... this place is outside, right? I mean ... no walls or such and ... uhh ... everyone would see me. While I have no clothes on."

"But that's something normal here. Everyone's doing it. Trust me, _солнце_ , no one would pay attention to you."

"But ... dad, I'm 14. I'm almost certain that it's illegal!"

"I've seen kids younger than you use the bathhouse here."

"Ughhh ..." Volodya frowned. "It's pointless to argue with you, dad, you're just so stubborn! But I don't want to be in the nude in a place where random people can see me! So, if you don't mind, I'll go and use the bathroom that has walls, a door that locks and a sense of privacy." He moved away from Viktor, walking as fast as he could.

Viktor watched after him, stifling his laughter. He sometimes couldn't understand his son at all. Volodya had been perfectly calm when he'd broken his leg, even after he'd been told he needed to undergo surgery, and yet just now he'd unravelled at something as trivial as being nude in an onsen.

Maybe it was the hormones. Yakov had warned him that Volodya was entering a difficult age where he'd start rebelling and would generally act wilder than before. But Viktor didn't think his son would ever become as unruly as Yakov threatened him he would. He just couldn't imagine Volodya being anything but adorable and kind. And besides, Viktor himself hadn't been rebellious at all, so obviously there were exceptions.

He soon pushed the thought of Volodya's puberty in the back of his mind and headed to his room. Everything seemed to be falling in place. Volodya and Yuuri had taken a liking to each other almost immediately - something which Viktor had anticipated, so he wasn't surprised by it, but he still took it as a good sign.

Viktor suddenly thought that bringing Volodya here could have been a bit selfish. There weren't any people his age that he could hang out with, and Viktor and Yuuri would be too busy to spend enough time with him. His son would probably spend most of his day alone or with Makkachin, and surely he'd feel bored most of the time. If it weren't for his injury, Volodya could have joined their training.

He furrowed his eyebrows slightly. He didn't want Volodya to be unhappy. He had to talk to his son about the problem - Volodya was smart, so surely he'd think of a solution.

If not, then the only other thing Viktor could do was send Volodya back to Russia. He didn't want to, the thought of separating from his son, again, was breaking his heart. But if Volodya wasn't happy here, then Viktor couldn't force him to stay. He wanted Volodya and Yuuri to become friends, but he didn't want to risk his son's happinness.

But he shouldn't get ahead of himself. First, he'd talk to Volodya.

* * *

"Thanks for helping me out, Yuuri. I could really use a tour guide around here," Volodya said and gave Yuuri a warm smile. "I hope this doesn't interfere with your training too much? I don't want to be a nuisance or anything."

"Oh, that's fine. Viktor told me I could afford an afternoon off, so it's ok. I'm sure he knows what he's doing. Still, it's a shame he got that sudden stomach ache. I think he really wanted to come with us."

"Yeah, so tragic. My poor dad." Volodya turned his head away so that Yuuri couldn't see him roll his eyes. "I'm sure he'll be better by the time we get back."

Of course he would! His father's stomach was in perfect condition. Too bad one couldn't say the same for his brain. Viktor's _ingenious_ plan had turned out to be quite simple, and quite unoriginal at that too! First, he'd explained to Volodya, he'd arrange with Yuuri for the three of them to go shopping. Then, at the last minute, Viktor would find an excuse to stay home. The goal was, he'd said, for Yuuri and Volodya to spend some time alone so that they could get to know each other better.

"I spent a lot of time with Yuuri, _солнце_ , before you arrived. I think it's fair that you do too."

"That's not how things work _at all_!" Volodya had scolded his father.

In the end, though, he'd agreed to go along with Viktor's plan. He actually did want to learn more about Yuuri and he thought that the casual atmosphere of shopping would help him shed his awkwardness enough for them to have a nice conversation. Hopefully this shopping trip would kickstart their friendship.

And if that didn't happen, at least Volodya would get to buy some nice things.

"I hope Viktor feels better soon," Yuuri said. "If he doesn't, I don't think we'll be able to train together."

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Volodya repeated. "And I personally think that everything should be in moderation. Training is nice and all, but you need to relax and have fun too. Otherwise you'd just end up wrecking yourself."

"Yeah, I suppose that's true." Yuuri looked at Volodya. "I hope you won't tire yourself out today. Viktor told me you were with a broken leg until recently."

"Yup. I was in hospital at the same time as the GPF. It was so lame ... If it weren't for my leg, I would have gone to Sochi with my dad and we would have met months ago!" He saw that Yuuri was blushing and changed the topic. "Well, whatever. My leg's all recovered now, so I should be fine. I mean, it's still a bit stiff, but the doctor told me that's just because I spent a really long time without moving. He said that once I became active again, the stiffness would go away." He laughed. "So this will literally be a shopping therapy, huh?"

"W-well, about that." Yuuri looked down. "I don't think the shops here are anything special. They're certainly not like those in Saint Petersburg - this is a small town, after all. A-and ... I don't think I'll be such a good guide. I haven't been here in 5 years."

"Well, I haven't been here in 14, so I definitely need some help." Volodya laughed again. "Don't worry about the shops, Yuuri, I'm sure I'll like them. Look, just because I come from a huge city doesn't mean I don't like it here, you know? Oh, by the way ... you don't mind me calling you Yuuri, do you?"

Volodya, perhaps having learned from his father, almost always addressed people by their first names. This sometimes made people think he was rude, so he'd taken to asking for permission to address people that way.

Yuuri, who didn't know any of that, seemed surprised by his question.

"Oh, not at all. Why shouldn't you call me by my name?" He asked with a smile. "Don't worry about it, Volodya, I don't mind."

"That's good." Volodya smiled relieved. He liked that Yuuri wasn't one of those people who were condescending to teenagers. He treated Volodya as an equal, something which made the teen quite happy.

The two entered the marketplace. Yuuri had offered to take Volodya to the neighbouring town which was bigger and had arguably better shops, but Volodya had refused.

"Well ... here we are," Yuuri said, gesturing at the shops ahead of them. "Um ... are you looking for something in particular?"

"Kinda, yeah. I wanna buy some gifts for Yura."

"Yura?" He repeated.

"Yeah, my best friend." Volodya nodded. "You actually know him, he said that you guys met at the GPF last year. His name is Yuri Plisetsky, he's a skater too, but he was still in the junior division then. Do you remember him?"

"Ohh, y-yeah, I do..."

Yuuri's face became slightly pale. He'd probably recalled his antics during the banquet, Volodya thought. His father had asked him not to bring that subject up with Yuuri, as it was obvious that he was still uncomfortable talking about it.

Volodya hoped that Yuuri would soon warm up to him enough so that they could discuss the banquet. Out of everything that had happened at the GPF the previous year, this was the one thing Volodya regretted missing. It sounded like it had been quite a fun event.

"So anyway," Volodya continued in an innocent voice, "Yura wasn't very happy when I left, and I want to send him some presents to cheer him up."

"That's very nice of you."

"Yup, I'm a very nice person." He chuckled. He took Yuuri's hand and pulled him towards the nearest shop. "Come on, let's buy stuff!"

Minutes into their shopping, Volodya realized how helpless he would have been without Yuuri. The shopkeepers, while all very friendly and eager to assist, spoke barely a word in English, and without Yuuri to translate for Volodya, he doubted he would be able to buy anything. That would have been a shame, since the shops had a lot of things he wanted to buy.

It wasn't easy to choose the perfect gifts for Yuri, but in the end Volodya was satisfied with his purchases.

"This will cheer him up a bit, don't you think?"

He arranged the packages in a neat pile so that it would be easier to carry them, while thinking about his best friend. He'd called Yuri the previous night. He hadn't sounded happy at all and for the first time in a while, he'd refused to let Volodya see his face. That made him think that Yuri had been crying again. Volodya bit his lower lip, angered with himself when he felt his eyes stinging. He seemed to be crying quite often ever since leaving Russia, for some reason.

He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head lightly, focusing on the task at hand.

"There are all very nice, aren't they?" He asked out loud.

"I suppose," Yuuri replied, taking the packages in his hands. "I assume he likes tigers a lot, hm?"

"All kinds of cats, actually," Volodya said with a smile. "I like that ink painting the most. I think Yuri will like it too. But that statue of the sleeping tiger is also very beautiful. Is it really hand-made? Because if it is, that's so cool! I thought only artists made hand-made statues."

"Should we head back home then?" Yuuri asked. "It seems like you bought everything you needed."

"Well, yeah, I bought what I came here for," Volodya nodded, "but I kinda wanna buy something for me too."

"I see. You really like shopping, huh?" Yuuri asked with a chuckle.

"A little bit, yeah," Volodya admitted with a nod. "I do try to control myself, you know, but sometimes it's just so nice to buy things, especially for myself. Honestly, I think my father's to blame for that. If you think I'm bad, you should see him - he's really addicted to shopping."

"Viktor? Really?"

"Oh, yeah!" Volodya laughed. "You should see him in a mall! And he doesn't just buy things for himself, he likes to buy stuff for others too! He's bought me thousands of things, half of which I don't even need. He's even bought Yura stuff too!"

His father was quite generous to Yuri, often explaining his actions by joking that it wasn't wrong to spoil his future son-in-law. While Volodya found his remarks annoying, Yuri seemed more embarrassed by all the presents Viktor bought for him. Unsure of how to respond to such kindness, his friend had resorted to his go to reaction - pure unbalanced rage.

"Maybe he just likes making people happy?" Yuuri suggested with a smile.

"Hmm ... I guess you're kinda right?" Volodya tapped his chin as he mused about it. "I mean, my dad kinda feels that everyone in the world should be happy. That's why he does all that charity work. But honestly, I don't think he's that good-hearted. I mean, I'm sure you've realized he's kinda selfish, right?"

"What?"

Volodya chuckled at Yuuri's face. Yuuri looked not shocked, but vandalized! He was a huge fan of Viktor, Volodya knew, so the revelation had left him shaken to his core.

"Volodya, I'm sure you must be mistaken. Viktor isn't selfish at all!"

"I'm not saying it like it's a bad thing, Yuuri. Really, I think my dad's achievements give him more than enough reason to be a bit selfish, and that's not so bad."

"But he really isn't! He's always so nice to everyone."

"That's true." Volodya nodded. "But you know, everything my dad does is first and foremost aimed at making _him_ feel good. Even adopting me. He wanted a family, he wanted to have someone he could take care of and bam! - he adopts me." He smiled. "Again, I'm not saying it's a bad thing. On the contrary, I love my father with all my heart. But he really does think about himself first, and then about others. Even if it's not intentional."

"I don't think so," Yuuri spoke with a soft voice. "See, I was ... well, pretty desperate. I don't know if Viktor told you, but I finished last at the GPF. After that, I fell into a sort of slump. I started to mess up my skating and ultimately ended up thinking I had no future in this field anymore. I was _lost_. And then Viktor came here and said he'd help me win gold and I just ... I felt hopeful again! And he's doing this all to help me, Volodya, not to make himself feel good. I really don't see how him being my coach is a selfish act."

How ironic, Volodya thought, for Yuuri to describe what was one of Viktor's most selfish acts as an unselfish one. Still, his heart clenched slightly as he listened to Yuuri talk about how he felt after placing last at the GPF. He knew that feeling all too well. He smiled lightly and patted Yuuri on the back, but didn't say anything.

He wondered if Yuuri realized how soft his voice became - or how cutely he blushed - anytime he mentioned Viktor. He probably didn't know he was doing it and Volodya found that kind of romantic.

It was nice to see such a solid proof of the feelings Yuuri had for his father. Before arriving, Volodya only had the information that Viktor would give him, and he suspected that it wasn't as accurate as Viktor presented it to be. So seeing Yuuri blush like a teenager was a relief, as it showed that his father had been right all along.

Now it seemed it was more a matter of time than anything else for his father and Yuuri to get together. All Volodya could do until then was to become as friendly with Yuuri as he possibly could. Luckily, this didn't seem like such a difficult task.

"Ooohh, look at that!" Volodya exclaimed all of a sudden and pointed at a store.

That which had attracted his attention was a kimono. It was a dark purple colour, with birds and flowers embroidered on it. It seemed to be his size too.

"This will look good on me, don't you think?" Volodya asked excitedly as he pulled Yuuri to the store.

"Yeah, I suppose ... It's just that ... uh ... this is for girls ..."

"Is that so?" Volodya took the kimono from its stand and felt the fabric between his fingers. "Oh, it's soft too. I think I'll buy it."

"It doesn't bother you that it's for girls?"

"Why should it?" Volodya chuckled. "I like it, so I'll buy it and wear it. I'd like to see anyone try to stop me. I'll kick their asses!"

Even back in Russia people rarely turned his clothing into a problem. However, Volodya was aware that due to his build and long hair, his appearance was passing in both genders. He knew that if he looked more masculine, people wouldn't turn a blind eye to his clothing. Luckily, he had his father and best friend to protect him if anyone said something.

"Well, alright then." Yuuri smiled. "But you should know that the one you're holding is meant to be worn by married women only."

"Eh? Really?"

"Yeah." Yuuri nodded. He looked over the other clothing in the store and picked a similar kimono with longer sleeves. This one was in a nice peach colour and had red flowers embroidered on the skirt. "This one is for unmarried girls and women. Eh ... of course, if you like the purple one, you can buy it."

"No, it's fine. I like this one too." Volodya returned the purple kimono on the stand. "Honestly, I didn't know there were different kinds. They kinda all look the same to me."

"Well, they are pretty similar, it's mostly the colours and decorations that have different meaning," Yuuri explained.

"Wow!" Volodya whistled. "I had no idea about that. Honestly, I thought people wore them like bathrobes."

"I suppose a lot of non-Japanese people think that," Yuuri said with a chuckle.

"I think I should buy the one you suggested." Volodya looked at the kimono in Yuuri's hands. "I think that colour would suit me better than purple. Lighter colours look better on me, but I kinda like wearing darker ones more."

His father had once pointed out, and Volodya had agreed, that his clothing choices were influenced by Yuri. Howerver, Volodya wasn't so keen on the animal patterns his best friend was so fond of.

"You know what I just thought of? Dad should buy a kimono too, and they we'll buy you some traditional Russian clothes. Then we'll wear them and take a photo! Won't that be awesome?"

"Y-yeah, sounds really fun." Yuuri blushed lightly. "Do you like taking photos?"

"Not really." Volodya shrugged. "I mean, I like it, but I never end up looking good in photos. But that's natural, I guess. I'm not particularly good-looking. But I do like taking photos with my friends and people I like!"

"Oh!"

"Don't act so modest!" He laughed at Yuuri's embarrassment. "You think I'd go out shopping with someone I didn't like? And you know, I think you and I are more alike than me and my dad."

"Oh, that can't be so!" Yuuri protested. "You really do look a lot like Viktor, especially with your hair."

"God, you're just as blind as everyone else!" Volodya rolled his eyes. If only he got paid every time someone compared him to Viktor because of his hair! "I don't look like my dad at all. My hair is even lighter than his. But because it's long, everyone thinks we look alike."

Of course, there was no reason for Volodya to look like Viktor. They had no blood relation between them, though that had never stopped them from thinking of each other as family. Viktor had tried to make it perfectly clear to Volodya that he considered Volodya his child and Volodya had never felt like Viktor wasn't his real father. In fact, the only reason he sometimes wished he had some of Viktor's genes was linked to his low self-esteem.

"I wouldn't mind looking like my dad, to be honest," he said. "Or to at least be half as handsome as him."

"But you look fine as it is."

"I certainly do not! Look at those alien eyes - you think they look good?" Volodya sighed. His looks were a sour subject for him. "And on top of that, my nose is crooked."

"What?"

"Yeah, it's crooked. Look." He turned his head sideways and ran his finger along the bridge of his nose. "See? Right here, at the top. I have a slight bump there."

Yuuri looked at him for a few seconds, then leaned in closer to have a better look.

"Sorry, I don't really see anything," he finally said. "Are you sure you're not being just a bit too hard on yourself?"

"Everyone says that!" Volodya complained with a pout.

The two finished their shopping and headed back to Yuuri's home. Since Volodya had gone a bit overboard with his purchases, Yuuri offered to carry them to his room. There he helped Volodya arrange them in such a way that Makkachin wouldn't accidentally damage them.

"I think that'll do it," Volodya said, giving the packages one last look. "I don't know what it is about bags, but Makkachin goes crazy around them. He likes to rip them up in shreds!"

He turned around and saw that Yuuri was looking at his plush toy. Volodya had used it as a pillow the previous night and now it sat on the floor next to the futon.

"Oh, yeah, that's Yuri."

"Huh?" Yuuri flinched, startled.

"Yuri - that's how I named my toy. It was the name of the person that gave it to me." Volodya chuckled at Yuuri's shocked face. It was probably odd for him to see an inanimate object that bore his name. "It's a very funny story, really. It happened shortly after my dad adopted me. I was four then, so I don't remember much. But I know about it, because dad likes to tell the story." He took the toy and pressed it against his chest. "I _do_ remember that I saw this toy in a store and I liked it immediately. I really wanted it, and then suddenly some stranger bought it for me! It was kinda like magic, you know?"

"W-what an unusual story," Yuuri mumbled. "A-and ... you didn't know this person, at all?"

"Yeah, I didn't. He was just some random guy on the street." Volodya smiled. "To be honest, looking back, I realize how easy it would have been for that guy to harm or even kidnap me!"

"W-well, I don't think that person - _whoever_ he was - would have had any bad intentions."

"He didn't, thank God, but it would have been so easy for him to have been some creep, right?" Volodya shrugged. "Guess it was fate that I wasn't harmed back then, huh? Anyway, ever since it happened, the name Yuri is special to me."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. It keeps popping up around me. The toy, my best friend, and now you."

"Me? W-what's so special about me?"

"Well ... my dad thinks you're good on the ice, otherwise he wouldn't have come here. And I wouldn't be here too, so ..." Volodya shrugged and looked at his toy. "It's really old now, and it's not in the best shape. I should have taken better care of it ..." He spoke softly. "You know, I actually thought about posting the story of how I got my Yuri online. Maybe the person who gave it to me would see it. I kinda wish I could meet him again and thank him ... I don't think he knows just how much he changed my life when he gave me my Yuri ..."

"A-ahh ... I wish you luck with that!" Yuuri spoke in a slightly sharper tone than usual. "Um, listen, I was thinking about that kimono you bought. And you know, there's a special hairstyle that girls wear with it. It's kinda traditional. A-and your hair is so nice, so I thought that maybe I could ask my mom to help you do your hair that way?"

"Really? That would be amazing! I love trying out new hairstyles!" Volodya beamed. He put the toy down and took Yuuri's hand. "Come on, let's go ask her right now!"

* * *

Yuuri flopped on the bench, panting heavily. He'd overestimated himself today, he thought. He should have stuck to the routine that Viktor had planned out for him, but after having spent the previous day with Volodya, he'd thought he ought to train extra hard today.

That had proven to be a mistake, as only halfway through Yuuri found his strength sapped. Now, as he lay on the bench, he could feel the soreness spread through his limbs. Even though he was still, his body was somehow trembling.

He looked up when someone called his name and saw Viktor walking towards him.

"I guess that shopping trip was too exhausting, hm?"

"Oh, no. It was ... very pleasant, actually. Lots of fun." Yuuri swallowed, his saliva feeling like burning acid in his parched throat, then patted his chest. His heart was beating like crazy. "Volodya's ... really cute ..." He coughed.

"That's so true!" Viktor beamed. "My Volodya is incredible, isn't he? I knew you'd like him!"

Yuuri smiled. He still couldn't get used to the idea that Viktor was a father, but that didn't stop him from finding Viktor and Volodya's relationship simply amazing. Watching them together made him so happy. They laughed and joked with each other and seemed, by all indications, a very close family.

Their closeness would have made him feel like an outsider, if it weren't for Viktor's and Volodya's constant efforts to include him in their banters. He was thankful to them for that, even if the duo's attention made him feel awkward at times.

"Volodya really likes you, you know?"

"Y-yeah, he told me." Yuuri nodded, blushing. Volodya had specified, rather needlessly, that he didn't feel any romantic attraction to Yuuri. Of course, Yuuri had never held the assumption that Volodya could be attracted to him and he was glad he wasn't. It would have been awkward if Volodya, whose father was the man Yuuri was in love with, were attracted to Yuuri. It would have made things _very_ complicated. "Ahhh ... he also showed me that toy of his ..."

"Ooohh, he showed you our Yuri, huh?" Viktor laughed while Yuuri blushed at the pronoun. "He's an important part of our family, you know?"

"But ... it's just a toy, isn't it?"

"Well, see, he really is just a toy, but he's very important to me and Volodya. Didn't Volodya tell you how he got it?"

"He mentioned something ..." Yuuri mumbled.

His horror at the discovery that Volodya still kept the toy Yuuri had given him so many years ago had been slightly diminished by the realization that neither Volodya, nor Viktor were aware that he was the mysterious stranger. Yuuri could only hope they never found out.

Viktor sat on the bench and pushed him to lie down, with Yuuri's head on his lap. He stroked his hair a few times before speaking. Every time Yuuri felt the touch of his fingers, his heart made a huge leap in his chest and he was left wondering just how much of this he could take until his heart burst.

"It's a very interesting story, almost too strange to believe, actually." Viktor smiled, unaware of the turmoil in Yuuri's mind. "Volodya may have forgotten to mention it, but back then, I hadn't actually adopted him yet. Social services wouldn't let me, you see, but I had convinced them to take care of Volodya for a while to prove that I'm capable of caring for a child. I was exalted at the chance of proving myself but Volodya ... well, he didn't think of me as his dad. He was so ... silent and distant all the time. He even called me Mr. Viktor!"

"Mr. Viktor?" Yuuri chuckled. "That kinda sounds like a character from a book, huh?"

"It does. I find it funny and kinda cute now, but back them I was so worried about it - after all, if Volodya didn't see me as his father, what hope could I have of adopting him! I do present it as something funny now, but back then, I didn't feel like laughing at all."

"I understand."

Yuuri wasn't a parent, but he could understand how Viktor had felt back then. Hearing the child he wanted to adopt refuse to acknowledge him as a father must have been devastating. Luckily, it didn't seem like Volodya had this problem anymore.

"Shortly after Volodya came to stay with me, I had a competition," Viktor continued. "I don't remember much about it, to be honest, it was a long time ago. I think I got first place there, but I can't be sure. But I am fairly certain that I went somewhere abroad for it. And I took Volodya with me, because even back then I knew he was my good luck charm." He smiled. "While I was busy with ... something, I don't remember what, Volodya had somehow got away from Yakov and had met someone who gave him that toy. I don't know why exactly, but after he got the toy, Volodya started calling me dad. I adopted him later, but I doubt I would have been allowed to if he was still calling me Mr. Viktor."

"What?! But ... that was just a toy!" Yuuri exclaimed. "I mean ... a-ahh ..."

"I can understand your surprise. I don't really understand everything about it, but I know one thing - this toy means something to Volodya. I don't think he understands it too, but there's no denying that this toy has a good effect on him. Sometimes, when he gets into his peculiar mood, this toy is the only thing that can calm him down."

"I see ..."

Yuuri sat up, with his back turned to Viktor. He didn't want to face him at the moment, anxious that his eyes would reveal his secret.

It was _him_ that had brought Viktor and Volodya together! If what Viktor had said was right, then Yuuri's gift to Volodya was what had led to Viktor being allowed to adopt him. Of course, he hadn't known the consequences his impulsive actions would have back then. Hell, he hadn't even known that the child he met on the street would end up being his idol's son!

It was bad enough before, when Volodya had gleefully informed him that he'd named this important object after him, but now that he knew how important his gesture had been to Viktor and Volodya, it was a _disaster_!

They should never find out the truth, Yuuri decided. How could he look them in the eyes if they ever knew just _who_ he really was?!

Later, during dinner, Yuuri watched Volodya. The teen had spent the afternoon helping Yuuri's mother and sister with the housework. He was quite cheerful as he informed Viktor that Yuuri's mother had taught him how to make katsudon.

He looked particularly adorable this evening, with his hair pulled up into two messy buns, one on each side. Volodya had left a few strands of hair over his face - Yuuri now knew that he did so to hide his eyes - and a heart-shaped pendant was hanging from his neck.

Yuuri had complimented Volodya while they were sitting down around the table. Volodya had thanked him, his eyes beaming with joy. After Yuuri had learned that Volodya was insecure about his appearance, he'd decided he ought to do something about it.

Self-doubt was something typical for a teenager, but definitely not something he'd expected from what he perceived as a younger copy of Viktor. It seemed that Volodya had been right when he'd told him he and Viktor weren't as alike as people thought.

Not that this was a bad thing. On the contrary, Volodya's insecurity was something very familiar to Yuuri. Upon hearing of it, he'd felt an instant connection to Volodya, an odd closeness that bonded those suffering the same plight.

Viktor, even if he was aware of how deep his son's issues reached, was probably unfit to help him. As far as Yuuri knew, he'd never had to battle these kinds of ugly and negative thoughts, ever. If Volodya confided in his father that he didn't like how he looked, Viktor would probably brush it off and tell him that he just needed to buy something nice for himself. It wasn't that he wanted to diminish the way Volodya felt, no, Yuuri knew Viktor well enough, and he knew that Viktor wasn't so heartless. Viktor, like anyone unburdened with simply thought that self-doubt could be cured so easily.

Viktor was far from being a bad parent. But he was someone who was a stranger to despair, and so Yuuri didn't think he'd be the right person to comfort Volodya who was at a very delicate and sensitive age. So Yuuri thought that one way he could repay Viktor for everything he was doing for him was to help Volodya deal with his issues.

He wasn't doing it just for Viktor, though. Yuuri liked Volodya, and wanted him to be happy. Oddly enough, he'd felt the same way ten years ago, when he'd given him the toy crab. He'd wanted Volodya to be happy then too.

He knew that Volodya's way of thinking was toxic and could have lasting damage to his psyche if it was left like that. He knew, because it was what had happened to him and he felt it was his responsibility to protect anyone, especially this fragile 14-year-old, from having the same experiences.

Maybe it was a coincidence that he'd crossed paths with Volodya again, or maybe it was fate, but whatever it was, Yuuri was willing to play his role in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some notes on chapter 2:
> 
> \- In Viktor's dream, he and Yuuri are wearing the outfits from their skate at the end of episode 12.
> 
> \- I know that Viktor is portrayed as something of a glutton, but I also think he's someone who likes to sleep till noon, and therefore wouldn't be used to having a huge breakfast. Which is why in this chapters, he only eats some fruit for breakfast.
> 
> \- So last year someone had posted Yuri's outfit from episode 2 on tumblr, pointing out that his clothes were really expensive. And since Yuri's family isn't that well financially – with Yuri being the main provider – I have this headcanons that most of his exensive clothes, including his animal-printed sneakers, were bought by Viktor!
> 
> \- As stated before, Volodya is genderfluid. He prefers wearing feminine clothes, though he's been careful not to do that around Yuuri in case Yuuri feels uncomfortable.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri discovers something huge about Volodya, and it brings him and Viktor closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! With some delay, here's chapter 3. I'm not entirely happy with it, but some unexpected health stuff happened and I couldn't do a final reding before I posted it. So I hope that it's not too bad! ^_^
> 
> If you like it, please leave a comment! Also check out my other stories, and maybe follow my tumblr blog - yoionmymind

Yuuri was still in bed. Morning had come long ago, but he didn't want to get up yet. He felt safe under his warm blanket. As long as he lay there, with his face against the wall, he could pretend that the outside world didn't exist.

These peaceful thoughts were interrupted when the door opened with a bang. Yuuri flinched and then went completely still, like an animal hiding from the hunter.

Silence fell in the room, but only for a short time. Soon, Yuuri heard the sound of footsteps approaching his bed. Whoever had entered his room stood over him for a few seconds, then struck him in the head so harshly that even though Yuuri had his eyes closed, stars danced in front of him.

"Fatso!"

Yuuri groaned in pain. He rolled onto his back and opened his eyes. He saw the Russian Yuri's face, who was looking down at him with a mix of annoyance and disgust. His blazing eyes reminded Yuuri of a cat that used to live outside his dorm. It would always scratch him, even when he tried to avoid it.

"Get up!" Yuri smacked him on the head again. "Viktor's showing us our programs today and I don't wanna be late because of you! You better be ready in 2 minutes or we're leaving without you!"

"Fine, fine ..." Yuuri sat up, rubbing his aching head.

Yuri was already dressed in his tracksuit. He looked around Yuuri's room disapprovingly, then made his way to the door.

"I can't believe Viktor's making me skate against  _ you _ , of all people!" He murmured. "You're so pathetic."

After one last deadly glare, Yuri left the room. Yuuri sighed and rubbed his face. His life had become quite difficult since Yuri had arrived the previous day. The Russian was loud and rude, and - Yuuri wasn't afraid to admit - quite scary. He seemed to enjoy physically hurting Yuuri and Yuuri honestly couldn't understand why.

He could still vividly remember his encounter with Yuri at the GPF last year, though he was no closer to understanding the Russian's motives than he was back then. For some reason, it seemed that Yuri thought that Yuuri, of all people, posed a threat to him at next year's GPF.

Yuuri got out of bed and lazily changed into his tracksuit. Yesterday, he'd been so, _so_ happy that he would finally be able to skate again ... but Yuri's unexpected arrival had sapped all the joy away. It didn't help that everyone else seemed to welcome him with open arms! Not that Yuuri had anything against Yuri, but he wasn't very happy about everyone else not batting an eye to Yuri's constant torment.

Despite the warnings, he and Volodya were waiting for Yuuri when he came downstairs ten minutes later. They were talking about something which Yuuri couldn't understand. However, judging by their silence upon his arrival and the slightly guilty look on Volodya's face, he could guess they were talking about him. It wasn't a pleasant feeling to know that people were discussing him behind his back, especially when these people were teenagers.

As Yuuri approached the duo, Yuri shifted his gaze to his shoes, not bothering to even acknowledge his presence. Volodya, however, gave him a warm smile.

"Morning, Yuuri!" He chirped. "I hope you slept well!"

"I did, thank you." He smiled back.

Volodya was very cheerful this morning, which was probably because of Yuri. He'd been complaining for several days that he missed his best friend, and had even tried to convince Viktor to let him return to Russia for a few days. When he'd seen Yuri at the ice rink yesterday, Volodya had been over the moon with joy.

"That's great! Dad already left, he said he was going to do some jogging with Makkachin and that he'd meet us at the ice rink," Volodya explained while Yuuri was putting on his shoes. He normally didn't visit Yuuri and Viktor at the ice rink, and Yuuri figured that he probably wouldn't be doing so if it weren't for Yuri.

"Sounds good." Yuuri zipped up his top. "Shall we get going then?"

"Yeah, if you're done wasting more time! Idiot!" Yuri interjected before Volodya could say anything. He took Volodya by the hand and stormed out. A little bit reluctant, Yuuri followed them.

He walked a few steps behind the two teenagers. Yuri was still holding Volodya's hand, and it didn't seem like either of them were uncomfortable with it. Yuri was talking , gesturing animatedly with his other hand. Volodya was listening to him with a smile; his hair, tied in a ponytail, was swinging from side to side as he walked. The two boys, despite both being quite light in appearance, presented an interesting contrast, even down to the clothes they were wearing: Yuri with his red hoodie and Volodya with his dark green dress.

Yuuri couldn't really understand it. He knew that Volodya and Yuri were best friends, but he couldn't see how two people who were so different could be so close. What was more, he couldn't understand how Volodya, who was so cheerful, kind and generous, could enjoy being friends with Yuri, who was just … so  _ horrible _ .

Suddenly, as if having sensed that Yuuri was thinking about them, Yuri turned around to look at him. He narrowed his eyes when he met Yuuri's gaze, and then turned forward again. He moved closer to Volodya and snaked an arm around his waist; it seemed like he was intent to ignore Yuuri as much as he could.

They arrived at the rink where Viktor was already waiting for them. He greeted them and then pulled Volodya aside for a private chat. Left alone with Yuri, Yuuri fidgeted uncomfortably, unsure of how to handle the moody teen.

"Um ... how do you like Hasetsu so far?"

"You really think I'd enjoy myself in this God-forsaken place, sharing a roof with you?" Yuri growled. “What a moron!”

"Ah, right, right. Sorry ..."

Yuuri fell silent. He was embarrassed of himself - a man in his twenties shouldn't be so frightened of a teenager! He pursed his lips unhappily and kicked at the ground in frustration.

"I'm getting them back, you know!" Yuri spoke suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Volodya and Viktor," he elaborated. "I'll win the Onsen on Ice event and I will bring them back to Russia with me. You can't have them."

"Oh ... I mean ... They're not mine to have," Yuuri said softly. "Viktor and Volodya chose to come here."

“Chose to come here, ha!” Yuri snorted and then leaned closer to Yuuri, his voice dropping low so that he wouldn't be overheard by anyone else. “I saw what you did to trick Viktor into coming here. Well, once I win, your little act will be over!”

“Umm ...”

Before Yuuri could figure out how to reply, Viktor and Volodya returned to them.

“You ready to see the programs I made?” Viktor asked.

“Yes, Viktor!” Yuri said. He hurried to the rink, making sure to shove Yuuri as hard as he could as he rushed past him.

Yuuri sighed as he rubbed his elbow. He was about to follow Yuri, when Volodya took him by the hand.

“Hey, Yuuri. You … you sure everything's ok?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well … you seem kind of nervous. I think – I don't want to say it – but I think it might be because of Yura.” He paused, but Yuuri said nothing. Volodya sighed and continued. “I know he likes to act tough, but trust me, he won't do anything to you. Just … relax and get to know him, ok? I really hope you two can become friends.”

“I think it's very unlikely, but I'll try.” Yuuri smiled. “Don't worry about it, Volodya.”

Volodya grinned and tossed his head, his ponytail swinging wildly. He smoothed down the hem of his dress and bounced on his heels. It was such a cute and childish gesture that Yuuri couldn't help but feel better just by watching him.

“I hope we can all get along! Wouldn't that be awesome?” Volodya asked, smiling happily. “Maybe then we can hang out and play games together, or travel together. Ohhh, it's gonna be so much fun, right?”

“Ah, it sure sounds nice.” Yuuri chuckled. He didn't really want to spend more time than was necessary with Yuri, but he also didn't want to let Volodya down. “I need to go now, Viktor and Yurio are probably waiting for me.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” Volodya chuckled. “I'll go get something to drink and I'll be right with you guys, ok?”

“Alright.”

The change room was empty; Yuuri figured that Yuri had already put his skates on and had gone on the ice. He sat on the bench and sighed. Volodya had painted a very beautiful picture of the future, but he doubted that he and Yuri would ever be on such friendly terms. Not that Yuuri would have minded but he didn't think that the Russian skater would ever agree to treat him like a normal human being.

The good and bad thing was that Yuuri would need to endure Yuri for only a week. After the Onsen on Ice, Yuri would return to Russia … and he'd likely take Viktor with him.

* * *

Volodya settled nicely in the water. He sighed in content and leaned back, resting his head on the stone behind him and closing his eyes. The hot water felt good on his skin and the swarm of fireflies fluttering around the bushes made the scenery seem like something out of a fairy tale.

The sudden sound of footsteps ruptured the serenity of the place and made him look up. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of his best friend standing in the entrance.

"Yura, did you follow me here?" He asked, somewhat displeased. "I thought you were sleeping."

"We share the same futon, I could feel you getting up and wondered where you were going," Yuri explained. He went to the edge of the pool and crouched down, dipping a hand into the water. "So ... this is what you usually do? You use the hot springs at 3 a.m.? Weird ..."

"Shut up! It's not weird at all!" Volodya pouted slightly. After initially rejecting his father's offer of using the hot springs, Volodya now felt reluctant to admit he'd actually ended up enjoying the onsen quite a lot. Unwilling to let his father know he'd been right, lest Viktor got an even bigger head, he'd resorted to sneaking out at night. His trips to the onsen were supposed to be his little secret and he was kind of disappointed that someone had found out about them. "I actually like the hot springs. But there's always people here. I mean .... it's weird to be naked around people, right? Especially strangers. The middle of the night is the only time I can be alone ... or at least I thought I would be."

The last sentence was delivered in a sharp tone, accompanied by a glare. Yuri, however, ignored the jab. He stood up and unfastened the belt of his robe.

"Why are you undressing?" Volodya bristled.

"I want to get in too," he replied. "You don't mind, do you?"

"No, no ..." Volodya turned away and closed his eyes. He heard the soft rustling of fabric when Yuri removed his robe and pants, and then felt the water ripple as he stepped into the pool. "Please keep your eyes above the water," he added, making Yuri chuckle.

"You really think I'm some pervert?"

Volodya turned to look at Yuri who was sitting beside him, at a respectful distance. Despite his nervousness, he couldn't help but smile.

"No, I don't think so," he said softly. "Sorry, I guess I'm kinda tense."

"Yeah, it's coz you love me so much!" Yuri chuckled.

"Idiot!" Blushing, Volodya splashed some water at his friend. "It's because I'm nude."

"Yeah, sure. Let's pretend that  _ that's _ the real reason."

Volodya thought that Yuri was acting unusually brazen and wondered if that could be because he also felt awkward about his nudity. He could understand that. Being nude around someone, even his best friend, made him feel overly conscious of the flaws in his own body.

"You're such an idiot, Yura," he said, rolling his eyes. "Just ... can you act normal?"

"I am acting normal."

Yuri smiled at him, leaning towards Volodya. In return, Volodya moved away. He knew it was silly, but he couldn't stop himself from being hypersensitive whenever he was around his friend. He was aware of Yuri's feelings for him and he didn't want to do anything that might be interpreted in the wrong way.

He looked at Yuri, keeping his gaze firmly above his friend's shoulders.

"Acting normal, huh?" Volodya repeated with a soft voice. "I'm sorry, Yura, but you're not. Ever since you've come here ... you've been acting so weird."

"It's because I'm so happy to see you again. Aren't you too?"

"I am!" Volodya nodded. "Don't get me wrong, Yura, I'm thrilled that you're here. But ... well, if I have to be honest, you've been acting kinda like a dick."

Yuri flinched. He looked at Volodya and opened his mouth to say something, then decided against it. He shut his mouth and slumped into the water.

"What do you mean?" He asked quietly.

"Well, you're being really rude to everyone," Volodya explained. "Except me, that is."

"'s just how I always act ..."

"I knew you'd say that! But ... it's different now? I mean, you're not your usual you."

"How so?" Yuri frowned confused.

"I dunno ... Just ... back home, I could sorta tell the way you treated everyone was just an act. I know, I know," he continued quickly when Yuri opened his mouth, "I don't mean it like you were pretending, it's just that ... well, no one was really fooled by it? But here ... it kinda seems like you mean it? And ... I don't really like it."

Yuri didn't reply. He looked at the water, his eyes reflecting its surface. He was playing with a leaf, pushing it down in the water and watching it resurface again.

"Sorry," he finally said. "I'm ... not good with this. I've been feeling so weird ever since I came here."

"Why?"

"I guess this place is just ... different." It seemed like Yuri was struggling with his words. "I kinda like it, I guess, but ... it looks like you like it too."

"Well, of course I do! It's really nice here."

"Yeah ..." He chewed on his lower lip. "But ... what if you like it so much, you never go back?"

"What?"

"Well ... it looks like you like Yuuri a lot, and your dad does too. And you both seem really happy here ... and I'm scared that you won't come back to Russia."

Volodya blinked. He'd never expected that kind of confession.

"Oh, Yura ..." He smiled. He reached out and pinched Yuri on the cheek. "Sometimes you can be really adorable and stupid."

"Don't try to distract me with niceties." Yuri frowned. "Are you really going to stay here?"

"No." Volodya sighed. "I like it here. A lot, actually. It's so peaceful and pretty, and everyone's really nice. But I don't wanna live here. I mean, it's nice for a holiday, but I feel like it'd be boring. I mean, there's really nothing to do here! Like yeah, there's the ice rink, but nothing else really."

"Hm ... so what have you been doing here so far?"

"This." He splashed some water on Yuri. "And hanging out with Yuuri's family. They're very nice people, you know."

"They seem kinda weird to me."

"Of course they do," Volodya said, rolling his eyes. Yuri shot him an irritated glare, but he decided to focus on the important part of their conversation.

"So ... you're not gonna stay here for good?"

"No, silly!" He laughed. "I mean, I don't think dad's ever planned on living here for real. He loves Yuuri, but I think he wants to go back to Saint Petersburg. Really, Yura, is that why you've been a total ass to everyone?"

"Shut up! That wasn't the only reason!" Yuri flushed.

He looked away, pouting, and Volodya smiled. He liked teasing Yuri - he knew that no matter how scalding his remarks got, his friend would never become upset with him.

"What were the other reasons for your behaviour?"

"Huh? Oh, they're nothing. Sorry, I got confused." Yuri was mumbling, suddenly flustered. "I'm an idiot, sorry."

"You kinda are." Volodya chuckled. "But that's ok. I kinda like you the way you are, Yura."

He smiled.

"Will it be weird if I hug you?"

"Probably." Volodya chuckled. "Maybe a side-hug would be less awkward?"

"Yeah."

Yuri moved closer and wrapped an arm around Volodya, pulling him closer until their shoulders were touching. It didn't feel as weird as Volodya had thought. The sensation of Yuri's wet skin against his felt oddly comforting, and suddenly, Volodya wasn't feeling so self-conscious about being in the nude.

"Why are you so awkward around me?" Yuri suddenly asked. "I mean, I know we're naked now, but you do that when we have clothes on too? You weren't like that before."

"Yeah, but ... you know that things have changed now."

"Because of last year? We just kissed, nothing more. I thought you enjoyed it."

"That ... I did like it," Volodya admitted, blushing. "But ... I don't think we should have done that. I didn't know you felt that way about me."

Volodya sighed as he fondly remembered how different things had been just a year ago. He and Yuri had spent a couple of days in Moscow, to visit his grandfather and celebrate Yuri's 14th birthday. It was fun, as the two had spent the time playing video games, watched films they weren't supposed to, and ate whatever they wanted.

On the evening of Yuri's birthday, after his grandfather had gone to bed, Yuri and Volodya had settled on the sofa to watch a movie and finish off the remaining cake. Volodya had asked Yuri if he'd enjoyed his birthday, offering - as a joke - to make it better in case he hadn't. It was then that Yuri had suddenly requested a kiss on the lips.

He'd tried to brush it off, explaining that he didn't want Volodya to give his first kiss to someone nasty, so  _ really  _ the best thing to do was for Volodya to kiss him. Volodya, under the impression that it was just a tease, had agreed to it laughingly.

He didn't realize the mistake he'd made until it was too late.

"So ... if you'd known about my feelings ... you wouldn't have kissed me?" Yuri asked sadly.

"Yeah, Yura, I wouldn't have." Volodya nodded. "Look, I don't want to hurt you and ... well, I think that ... I think that I did just that when I kissed you. I thought we were just friends."

"That's ridiculous," Yuri said quietly. "Even if you hadn't kissed me, I still would be feeling the same about you. And we are friends. My feelings don't stop me from being your friend."

"Yeah, but ..." Volodya sighed. "It doesn't matter. I don't want to talk about that." He sniffed.

"Are you crying?"

"It's from the vapours. They make my eyes teary."

“Liar,” Yuri said softly.

They were silent for a while. Yuri's arm was still wrapped around Volodya's shoulders. Volodya reached up and took his hand, tangling their fingers together.

"Your hand is cold," he said with a smile.

"My hands are always cold. My feet too."

"Yeah, I know." He chuckled.

"How can you know that?"

"We sleep in the same bed, Yura," Volodya pointed out. "And you tend to kick me. A lot."

There were no rooms available anymore, and with Yuri being so insistent on staying under the same roof as Yuuri and Viktor, they had no choice but to have him stay in Volodya's room. Volodya was exalted about that. He and Yuri always shared a hotel room when they were away – usually when Yuri and Viktor had a competition - and they always had a ton of fun. Sleeping in the same room - and on the same futon too - didn't bother Volodya or Yuri at all.

"What the-? I didn't know that!" Yuri flushed. "Sorry ..."

"It's fine." Volodya leaned his head on Yuri's shoulder. "I'm really happy you're here, Yura, I honesty am. Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I wanted to surprise you. And I guess I did. You should have seen your face when you saw me!" He laughed and patted Volodya on the head. “You were adorable.”

"Adorable? You wouldn't know adorable if it bit you in the ass!" Volodya laughed. “I bet I made a weird face, right?”

"No, not really. It was … ugh, how do I explain it?" He thought for a while. "It was kind of like ... you were shocked but also very happy."

"You're absolutely right, I was shocked and happy." Volodya smiled.

"Yeah, I know, but ... it was different. Not your usual happy face, but ... it was different, somehow."

"What do you mean?” Volodya frowned.

"I don't know. Don't make me explain weird things like that!" Yuri pouted and sunk in the water a bit.

Volodya looked at his friend. He couldn't understand what Yuri was talking about – all he could do was hope that whatever face he'd made hadn't been too embarrassing. He sighed and tried to think of something positive.

"Well, anyway, I'm happy you're here,” he said once again. “I can't imagine how you've convinced Yakov to let you leave, but I'm impressed that you have."

"Actually ... I sorta came here on my own. Yakov found out after I'd already arrived. He was really pissed."

" _ Yuri _ !" Volodya exclaimed, slapping Yuri on the arm lightly. "Dammit, now Yakov will blame me. He always blames me for the shit you do!"

"What's so bad about that? The guy has a soft spot for you, so it's not like he's gonna be harsh or anything."

"Still ..." Volodya trailed off and pouted.

They were silent for a while. Finally, with a sigh, Volodya moved away.

"Let's head back to the room. You need to get some rest for tomorrow."

"Ok. You can get out first, I'll cover my eyes," Yuri said.

"Thanks." Volodya smiled.

They returned to the room they were sharing. With both of their luggages and belongings scattered around, it seemed too packed, but Volodya liked it. Finally, the room looked like someone was actually living with it. He went to the futon, carefully navigating between some of Yuri's clothes, and laid down.

"Why don't you ask your dad for a real bed?" Yuri asked after he'd settled beside him. "Seems kinda unfair to have you sleep on the floor."

"I like it," Volodya replied. "Don't you?"

"It's nice, I guess." Yuri moved closer and wrapped his arms around Volodya. "You promise that you're coming back to Russia, eventually?"

"Yeah, Yura. I do."

"Good."

He fell silent and a few minutes later, his even breathing told Volodya he'd fallen asleep.

* * *

Viktor wiped his hands with the napkin and then rolled it in a ball and tossed it in his empty bowl. He, Yuuri, Volodya and Yurio had just finished having dinner. Exhausted, Yurio had dozed off before he could finish his meal. He was slumped over the table and was snoring softly. Volodya, sitting next to him, was checking his blog while tracing a finger over Yuri's bruised shoulder. He'd scolded his father severely for getting his friend injured.

"I thought it would help him figure out what agape means for him," Viktor had defended himself, but Volodya didn't want to hear any explanations.

"Torture never made anyone smarter," he'd said before walking away.

Even though Viktor had managed to earn his son's forgiveness by promising him he wouldn't subject Yuri to any beatings again, Volodya was still annoyed with him. He barely spoke to him during dinner which hurt Viktor - he wasn't used to being cold-shouldered by his own child. Or anyone, for that matter.

He felt torn. He wanted to smooth things over with Volodya, but at the same time there was something he needed to discuss with Yuuri. Both of these things were equally important to Viktor, and he didn't like that he had to choose one over the other.

He looked at Yuuri, who was absent-mindedly playing with his chopsticks, and then at Volodya, who was still staring at his phone. Sensing his father's eyes on him, he looked up and gave Viktor an inquiring look. His face didn't show any irritation or displeasure, just mild curiosity. He gave his father a soft smile, and this small gesture relieved all of Viktor's stress - it seemed like Volodya had decided to forgive him after all. This made his choice much easier.

"Yuuri," he spoke and saw Yuuri flinch at his voice, "we need to talk about something."

"Oh? You want to talk?" Yuuri mumbled, blushing lightly. "S-sure, I guess ..."

He seemed anxious, Viktor noticed. Volodya must have noticed too, because he looked at Yuuri with interest. He was so curious that he even put his phone aside. Viktor couldn't be entirely certain, but he suspected that Volodya found Yuuri's shyness quite amusing. He'd told his father that he never imagined someone in their twenties could be so awkward.

"I thought only characters in romcoms behaved like that," he'd said.

Of course, he'd never dream of making fun of Yuuri! Viktor wouldn't have allowed that. Volodya just found his personality unusual and therefore interesting.

He took Yuuri by the arm and helped him get up.

"Let's take a little walk, hm?" He suggested. He knew Yuuri well enough to know that he'd rather have this conversation in private, where he wouldn't be overheard by Volodya or anyone else.

Viktor took Yuuri to the garden, where they sat under a tree. From where they were, they could see Yuuri's mother in the kitchen.

"I feel like there's something wrong with you, Yuuri," Viktor began. "You don't look very happy lately."

He'd noticed that Yuuri wasn't as cheerful as he used to be. And it seemed that Yurio was the main reason for this sudden change. Whether it was his mere presence, or the upcoming skating competition, but it was clear that Yuuri was under a lot of stress. And Viktor - who still considered himself Yuuri's coach despite also being the sole judge in the event - felt that it was his duty to help Yuuri through these times.

"If there's something I can do ..." He trailed off, waiting for Yuuri's response.

"You don't need to do anything, really." Yuuri blushed. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You can tell me if something's bothering you." Viktor waited, but Yuuri said nothing. He sighed and tried another approach. "If it's Yurio, I can talk with Volodya about it."

While he doubted Yurio would listen to him, Viktor was certain that if he issued his concerns through Volodya, then Yurio would certainly change his behaviour. Whether Volodya would agree to it was another matter entirely, but Viktor was certain that if he did, he'd be able to persuade his friend to treat Yuuri nicely.

"Yurio?" Yuuri sounded confused. "Oh! No, I don't have a problem with Yurio. I mean .... he'd kinda rude to me, but it's ok. It doesn't really bother me so much."

"Then what is it?" Viktor insisted. "It's obvious you have something on your mind."

"I'm just ..." Yuuri paused for a few seconds before continuing. "I was just thinking about that Eros routine."

"Oh? You don't like the program I made?"

Viktor was hurt. He'd created the Eros routine specifically with Yuuri in mind, so the thought that Yuuri might not like it was an unpleasant one.

Yuuri flinched at the accusation and waved his arms frantically.

"No, no, I do. I think it's very good!" He shrieked. "It's amazing, like all of your programs! But ... I don't think it really fits me ..."

"What are you talking about, Yuuri?" Viktor chuckled. "Of course that it suits you. Why do you think I gave you the program?" He tapped his lips with his finger, trying to figure out the truth. "Is it possible that you're intimidated by Yurio?"

Yurio was insanely good, Viktor was ready to admit. Not only was he talented, he was also ambitious and hyper critical of his own performances, to the point where he'd sneak into the ice rink after practice to continue his training. Viktor knew that, because Yakov had once caught Yuri and Volodya in the act. He was furious, not so much about the fact that the two had broken in the rink, but because Yurio was pushing his body beyond his limits.

"I suppose it can be disheartening to see a 15-year-old be so good at the same thing that you do," Viktor continued thoughtfully.

He himself never held any negative feelings about other skaters. He'd actually been looking forward to finally competing against Yurio this year. He'd often tease his son that he wouldn't be hurt if Volodya cheered for Yurio instead of him – though in all honesty, he would be a little bit hurt. Of course, meeting Yuuri had changed everything and had put his plans of facing Yurio on the ice to rest. At least for this year.

"I-I'm not intimidated by Yurio!" Yuuri said, flushing. For once, he seemed more indignant than embarrassed, and Viktor took it as proof of his sincerity.

"Good." He smiled. "You shouldn't let that mess with you. You're a good skater, Yuuri."

Yuuri looked at Viktor. His lips were slightly parted and his cheeks were rosy. He looked pleasantly surprised.

"You really think so? You're not ... you're not just saying so to make me feel better?"

"Of course I mean it! You think I would be your coach if I didn't think you had it in you?" Viktor smiled and moved closer to Yuuri, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "That video of you skating my program was very flattering, but it also showed your real potential. You're really special, Yuuri. Don't forget that."

Yuuri's blush darkened. He was looking at the ground in silence. Viktor thought that this was the perfect moment to move their relationship a step forward. He leaned towards Yuuri, pursing his lips … but just then Yuuri tossed his head and turned his head away.

How annoying, Viktor thought. He pouted and rested his chin on his knees.

“Anyway … I'm sure you'll do great with my Eros routine.”

"Thank you, Viktor," Yuuri mumbled awkwardly. "B-but ... I still don't think ... I mean ... I don't really know how to do the Eros routine ..."

"I'll show it to you again tomorrow."

"No, I didn't mean that. I know the moves, I just ..." He blushed. "Well … Eros means sexual love, right? A-and … I don't know … I don't think it will suit me. I don't think I have any sex appeal ..."

“Huh?!”

Viktor stared at Yuuri wide-eyed. So far he didn't have a reason to believe Yuuri was the joking type, but there was no way Yuuri could be serious! He, who had undressed in the middle of a banquet and pole-danced for him! How could he say something so scandalous!

"Yuuri ... you're just messing with me, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not," Yuuri replied, frowning slightly. "It's just that ... I really don't know if I have any sex appeal. I m-mean, I've never had to ... uh ... use it before."

Viktor watched him, tapping his lips with his finger again. He still had a hard time believing Yuuri was serious, even though he was sure that Yuuri's words were sincere.

_ Ah _ , he suddenly realized. Yuuri must be one of those people who didn't realize they were attractive. He had said he'd never been in a relationship, so he'd probably never had someone who'd tell him just how amazing he was. What was more, he must be thinking that he'd embarrassed himself at the banquet, being so drunk - and he did embarrass himself, a little bit. But Yuuri had also been very sexual then.

"You're like Volodya in that way, I guess." Viktor smiled. Volodya was under the odd impression that he wasn't good-looking and he wouldn't listen to reason. "Everyone has sex appeal in their own way, Yuuri," Viktor continued. "You just need to learn how to let it out. Like if you wore a nice outfit, maybe something in black - you know, black is always sexy - and then just combed your hair back, like this."

He put his words into action, reaching out and smoothing Yuuri's hair back. A smile spread on his face. Yuuri truly looked beautiful, even in the dim light in the garden. Viktor took his glasses off and smiled.

"There we go," he spoke softly. “You're really handsome, Yuuri.”

"A-ah ..." Yuuri was blushing intensely. "I-I don't think it's a matter of how I look ... I just don't  _ feel _ it..." He shook his head to let his bangs fall over his eyes again.

"Oh, I understand." Viktor smiled. "You need something to make you feel sexy?"

"No, no!" Yuuri's flush darkened. "No ... I just ... I have this vision for what the Eros song represents. And I don't think I fit it ..."

"Oh, what kind of vision is that?"

"Well, I imagine this playboy, you see.”

Viktor listened to Yuuri's vision. It was an intriguing tale, though he didn't really like that Yuuri had taken a song about love and made it into a song about a selfish lover. Was this how he saw Viktor? If it were, it could explain why he was still hesitant about acting on his feelings.

"Wow, Yuuri ... This is really interesting," he finally said. "I didn't think about this at all, I was imagining something completely different."

"Oh? What?" Yuuri asked curious.

"I was imagining these star-crossed lovers, you see. They meet once and fall in love, but then one of them leaves and the other goes searching for them. He goes around the entire world, looking frantically, but he never seems to find the one he needs. Then, finally, as he's about to give up, he looks - and there they are, waiting for him!" He smiled widely. “And the lovers are reunited again and live happily ever after!”

"Oh!" Yuuri blinked. "This sounds ... very romantic."

"Right?" Viktor beamed. "So you think it's romantic too?"

"Yeah, I do." Yuuri nodded and smiled. Then he looked away and sighed. "But ... that doesn't help me much either ..."

"Oh …" Viktor sighed. He was silent for a while. “Look, Yuuri, here's the thing. The song I picked for you is not only about love, it's about passion. It's about losing yourself to your feelings. And … in order to do it right, you can't sit and think about it. You just need to feel.” He looked at Yuuri. “Does that help?”

“I-I … not really ...” Yuuri smiled lightly. “But it's ok, Viktor. I think this is something I need to figure out on my own.”

“Alright then. I'll be looking forward to watching you skate.” Viktor smiled and stood up.

Yuuri remained on the ground. He fidgeted a little, then looked up at Viktor.

“Viktor … do you really think I have a chance against Yurio?”

“Of course you do, Yuuri!” Viktor smiled. “I told you, you're a good skater. I think that if you ever managed to overcome your anxiety, you'd be unstoppable.” He reached down and ran his fingers through Yuuri's hair. “And with my help, you'll win a gold medal for sure.”

* * *

Volodya had found himself in a very awkward position. He didn't want to blame Yuri for this but … well, he did! He couldn't understand why Yuri needed his help precisely, and he definitely didn't think it was necessary for Yuri to sit shirtless before him.

“What's taking you so long?” Yuri asked, turning around to look at Volodya. “I can't do it by myself.”

“Yeah, I know, but … well, can't you ask someone else do it?” Volodya asked in desperation. He already knew the answer though.

"No, I can't do that. I don't want anyone else touching me, it's gross!" Yuri frowned and then sighed. "If you don't feel like doing it, it's no problem. I'll be fine."

Volodya sighed as well. He knew that Yuri wasn't trying to guilt-trip him, but he still felt guilty. After all, he thought, he could do what was being asked of him. For once, this wasn't one of Yuri's sad attempts at scoring some affection from Volodya. Yuri truly needed his help.

Earlier that day he had tried, rather precariously in Volodya's mind, to improve the program Viktor had made with an exceptionally complicated jump. He'd told Volodya that if he could execute it perfectly, it would give him an advantage over Yuuri. However, the result ended up being a mild concussion and a bruised back. Concerned that the pain from his injuries would impair his performance, Yuri had asked Volodya to apply some healing cream on them.

Volodya had to admit that, this time at least, Yuri realized the mistake he'd made. He hadn't stopped reproaching himself since their return from the ice rink.

"So stupid!" He exclaimed, frothing at the mouth a little bit. "I hadn't had a fall like that since I was a kid! How embarrassing ... and everybody saw it too!"

"It wasn't embarrassing, Yura," Volodya retorted. "It was downright terrifying. Like ... when you fell, you banged your head so loudly! For a second I thought you'd split it open."

He didn't know why, but when he'd seen Yuri lying on the ice, he'd thought there was blood pooling around his head. His heart had clenched so painfully that he felt like he'd die on the spot.

"So you were worried about me?" Yuri asked, cheering up a bit.

"Of course! We all were." Volodya nodded. "I don't know what's going through your head, but you're wrong if you think everyone here hates you. They don't. Like literally no one sees you as a rival or an enemy."

"Maybe ... but they still don't like me as much as they like  _ that _ guy."

"Well, you can't expect that, can you?" Volodya chuckled lightly. "This is Yuuri's home town, and everyone here's known him for years. It's only natural to support him and not you. This doesn't mean they hate you, though." He took the cream, a small tube in a bright yellow colour. A strong herbal odour seeped from it, even though its cap was tightly screwed on. "Let's take care of your back now."

Yuri nodded and faced forward again. Volodya sat on the floor behind him and looked at his back. It was a rich tapestry of purple and blue hues. He shuddered a bit.

"Man, it looks so bad ..."

"'s just coz I'm pale," Yuri said. "It's not really so bad."

"I'm paler than you, and my bruises never look so bad. Yura, you're lucky you didn't break something in your spine."

Volodya spread the cream on Yuri's back, trying to make his touches as light as a feather. Unfortunately, for Yuri's bruised skin, even feathers proved to be too heavy.

"Ow...  _ OW _ !" He winced and moved away. "Dammit, Volodya, don't press so hard!"

"I'm sorry, Yura." Volodya sighed and tried to be more careful as he applied the cream on Yuri's back. "I know it hurts, but I have to do it. You want these bruises to heal or not?"

"Yeah, yeah ... Just be careful, ok?" Yuri sighed.

"I am careful. You just did your best at wrecking yourself!" Volodya frowned as he looked at Yuri's shoulders. His father had kept his promise and hadn't subjected Yuri to any more beatings, but the injuries on his shoulders were still there. "Do you want me to put some cream on your shoulders? It might help."

"Oh, yeah. Thanks." Yuri pouted. "Honestly, what was your father thinking when he took me to that place? I'm almost certain this counts as abuse!"

"I suppose he thought it would help you," Volodya said with a smile. "My dad sometimes has very strange ideas. You know that."

"Yeah, but I didn't expect he'd have me beat up to make me skate better. Why doesn't he beat up the other Yuuri too? It's so unfair!"

"Are you saying you'd be willing to get beat up if it meant the same would happen to Yuuri?"

"Yeah, definitely!"

"Oh, Yura!" Volodya laughed. He leaned forward and kissed the back of his neck, the only spot of skin that was undamaged. "You're too precious sometimes."

"Shut up, I'm tough!"

"You can be tough  _ and  _ precious," he said with a smile. "But if you don't like my compliment, I can take it back."

"No, no, I like it!"

"That's what I thought." Volodya smiled sweetly.

He finished applying the cream and stood up.

"Do you think the other Yuuri is precious too?" Yuri asked suddenly.

"Hm? Yuuri?" Volodya turned to look at his friend. "What do you mean?"

"Just ... do you like him?"

"I do like him. I think he's nice." He shrugged. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, if your dad wants to be with him, you kinda have to like him, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose. Dad said something similar too." Volodya sat down again, this time next to Yuri. "He's right, of course. I mean, him being with Yuuri will affect me too. Still ... I feel kinda hurt that he thought I may not like Yuuri. He's really kind, you know? I don't think there's anyone who doesn't like him."

"I don't like him."

"I'm sure you like him, at least a little. You'd probably never admit that, though." Volodya laughed. "I saw you teaching him how to do that jump."

"That wasn't because I like him, moron!" Yuri protested, his cheeks flaming. "That loser was so pathetic I thought I should help him, otherwise beating him would be too easy for me."

"You and your heart of gold," Volodya commented with a sarcastic smile. "If you weren't as stubborn as a mule, you'd be a real angel."

Yuri pouted and turned his back to him. He took his T-shirt and put it on, wincing in pain as the fabric rubbed against his bruises.

"You've become very nasty since coming here," he said with a sour voice.

"And I thought sincerity among friends was a welcome thing." Volodya laughed. "Some criticism would do you good, Yura."

"Yeah, because  _ nobody _ else criticizes me." Yuri rolled his eyes.

As far as Volodya knew, nobody did. What his friend took as critcism was merely advice, prompted by genuine caring. Yuri, however, seemed unable to understand that. Volodya smiled at the sight of his indignant expression.

"I don't think I'm that nasty."

"You're not." Yuri suddenly smiled at him. "I'm really happy you don't hate me."

This unexpected remark surprised Volodya. For a moment, he was unsure of what to say.

"I ... of course that I don't hate you, Yura. I don't think I can be friends with someone I hated. I don't think I can even stand being around such person." He looked at his friend with a worried expression. "I know I tease you a lot, but that's just me joking around. I-It doesn't mean I hate you or anything."

"I know that. But I think a lot of other people hate me," Yuuri said quietly. "I dunno, maybe I'm overthinking it."

"You definitely are." Volodya smiled lightly. "I don't think anyone hates you, Yura, even though you don't treat people very kindly."

"Well, how the fuck can I treat them nice when I know they hate me?"

"Alright, then. Who do you think hates you?"

"Almost everyone here," Yuri replied immediately. "Yakov too. And Georgi. Even your loser dog hates me."

"Makkachin isn't really my dog. And he doesn't hate you, silly!" Volodya chuckled. "Look, none of the people you mentioned hates you. But you know what I think? I think that you believe they hate you because you know you treat them badly. You should try being nicer."

"Like the fatso?"

"It's very nasty to call him that." Volodya frowned. "Why are you like that? What has Yuuri done to you?"

"Pff!" Yuri turned his head away. "He just ... really annoys me. That's all."

"But he must be doing something specific to annoy you, right?" Volodya insisted.

"I just don't understand why Viktor likes him so much. As a skater, I mean. I don't mind Viktor ... ugh,  _ loving _ him or anything." He wrinkled his nose in disgust. "But the feelings he has for Yuuri shouldn't make him pretend that the fat- I mean the katsudon is a good skater."

"Well, Yuuri must be decent, right?" Volodya shrugged. "I mean, he did qualify for the GPF last year. So he must be doing  _ something _ right."

"I suppose." Yuri looked at Volodya. "Hey ... who do you think would win in this stupid little competition? Me or the katsudon?"

Volodya hesitated.

"I don't think you want to hear my answer."

"I think I already did."

Yuri stood up and began pacing in the room. Volodya watched him, noting his stiff shoulders and back. They wasn't due to his injuries alone, he thought. He knew that he needed to say something before things got ugly.

"Yura, I-"

"What?" He stopped to look at him.

"... I think you might have misunderstood me. Let me explain."

"What's there to explain. You think Yuuri's gonna end up winning, don't you?"

"I ... well, yes, actually. But you see-"

"There's nothing to see!" Yuri interrupted him again. His voice was bitter and shaking. "There's always someone else. It's never just  _ me _ , right? You always ... I'll always be second to you! Someone else will always come first - like your dad and this fat loser!"

Volodya watched Yuri with a gaping mouth. He'd never seen his friend like this. Yes, Yuri was a hothead, but this was different than his usual outbursts. It seemed so  _ personal _ . He tried to say something, but Yuri didn't give him a chance to talk. He continued with his rant, his hands clenched into fists.

"What's so wrong with me? I ... you're my best friend. You're my  _ only _ friend. I don't want anyone else, neither as a friend nor as anything else, but you. Why can't you feel the same way? I ... I can be anything you want me to be to you! You have me, so you don't need losers like Katsuki ... or that fucking toy!"

At his last words Yuri turned around and gave the plush toy such a harsh kick that it went flying through the room. An involuntary cry escaped Volodya's throat. It was so loud that Yuri turned to him sharply. Silent and shaking, Volodya stood up. He walked past Yuri, to where his toy lay on the floor. He picked it up and examined it, searching for any damage.

"Volodya, I ..." Yuri's voice was quiet. "I'm sorry ... I don't know what happened..."

Volodya said nothing. He clutched the toy closer to his chest, cradling it like a child.

"Yuri .... please leave. Now," he said quietly.

"A-are you mad at me?" Yuri asked.

"Yes." Volodya squeezed the toy. "Please, Yuri. Leave."

"No, I won't. I'm sorry, I'll make it better." Yuri stepped forward and put a hand on Volodya's shoulder. He may have had good intentions, but this was the wrong thing to do.

Volodya, unable to contain his anger any longer. He threw his crab aside and shoved Yuri hard, sending him flying to the floor.

"You want to make things better?" He yelled hysterically. "Then do it! Go away and stop talking to me! I hate you! I hate you so much right now!"

Yuri watched him wide-eyed. Volodya paid no attention to his fearful face. He grabbed the closest item to him - a glass of water - and hurled it at him. Yuri moved away just in time; the glass brushed past his hair and shattered in the wall behind him.

"Volodya, I-I ..."

"Shut up! I don't want to hear you, I don't even want to see you anymore! You ... you're a nasty, spiteful, horrible person!" Volodya felt, deep down, that he needed to stop talking. But he couldn't. He felt as if some hideous beast had been unleashed in him, a black force that he couldn't contain. Yuri's upset expression gave him sadistic pleasure and he wanted to hurt him even more. "Get out of my sight! I hate you, do you hear me?"

He threw some other things at him - first a hairbrush, then his own phone. The brush hit Yuri in the knee, and the phone would have taken his eye out if Yuri hadn't deflected it with his hand.

"Volodya..."

Yuri walked to him. He was still trying to calm him down, but it was a mistake getting so close. Volodya slapped him across the face.

"Go away! Just ... get out of my life!"

Yuri rubbed his cheek. His eyes had filled with tears. At the sight, Volodya felt his heart ache. Those tears weren't from the slap, he knew. He bit his lower lip and turned his back to Yuri.

"I'm sorry," Yuri whispered.

Volodya heard him walk away, then the door opened and closed. Only after silence had engulfed the room did he let a faint sob escape his lips. His shaking body fell to the floor.

* * *

Viktor and Yuuri were in the kitchen when they heard the commotion. Yuuri was confused and startled, but Viktor knew very well just what had happened. Worried, he headed to his son's room. Yuuri followed him. He kept asking questions that Viktor didn't bother to answer. Yuuri would find out the truth soon enough.

They found Yurio in the hallway outside Volodya's room. He was leaning on the door with a hand over his mouth. His shoulders were trembling and Viktor realized, startled, that the boy was crying.

When he heard them approach, Yurio looked up. His face was wet from his tears, and his eyes were red. Viktor had never seen him so upset.

"It's my fault," Yurio spoke. He was looking at Viktor with desperation in his eyes. "I ... I did it. Volodya didn't do anything wrong. You ... you'll tell him so, won't you? I ... I really messed up..." He sobbed and ran past them.

Viktor frowned. Yurio had never been so distraught, not even when he'd learned his grandfather had been taken to the hospital. He couldn't imagine what might have happened between Yurio and Volodya, but he was certain that it was ugly.

"What's going on, Viktor?" Yuuri asked. "Is Volodya okay?"

"I don't think he is." Viktor sighed. He turned to Yuuri with a forced smile. "What you'll see may not be pretty ... but I hope you'll understand. My Volodya ... well, it seems like he's been in his bad mood again."

He opened the door and went inside. The place was a mess, like one would expect from a room inhabited by two teenagers. The only clues that something extraordinary had happened were the pieces of glass, lying beneath a fresh stain on the wall, and an incredibly heavy air.

Volodya was curled up in a corner. He was silent, save for his uneven breathing, and absolutely still. Yuri, the plush crab, was lying close to the door. Viktor took it and went to Volodya. Without saying anything, he sat down next to his son and put a hand on Volodya's head.

His son didn't react to his touch at all.

" _ Солнце _ ..."

Volodya sniffed and shook his head. He didn't say anything. Viktor sighed and looked at Yuuri. At first, Yuuri had been startled, but now he was looking at Volodya with sympathy. He met Viktor's eyes and for once, didn't show any embarrassment. It seemed like his concerns about Volodya had overshadowed his feelings for Viktor.

" _ Солнце _ , don't blame yourself. You know that things like this happen to you sometimes," Viktor spoke gently as he stroked his son's hair.

Volodya stirred.

"Dad, I don't want these things to happen. Ever." His voice was hollow and Viktor could only define it as dead. Suddenly Volodya winced. "Oh, God, I did something horrible!"

"No,  _ солнце _ , don't be like that. You know that you'll only make things worse if you keep thinking that way."

"I already made things bad beyond repair!" Volodya looked up. Like Yurio, his eyes were also filled with tears. "I ... I hurt Yura! I really did! And ... I wanted to do it ... Oh my God, it was so crazy!"

"I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you say." Viktor smiled lightly. "What happened exactly?"

Before answering, Volodya hesitated.

"We ... we were just talking. About some stupid things. And then - oh God! - Yura got so angry! He started saying some weird stuff. It wasn't anything important, it was just stuff that have just piled up inside him until he finally broke down. And then Yura, he - oh, it seems so stupid now! - he kicked my Yuri ..."

Viktor looked at the toy in his hands. Ah, he thought, this was what had prompted Volodya's outburst. He placed the toy in front of his son who immediately took it in his arms. He cradled it and buried his face in it.

Viktor could understand why his son had broken down. This crab toy was important for him - and Yurio knew that. He couldn't understand what had prompted Yurio to kick it, but he suspected that his son wasn't telling the whole truth about what he and Yurio had talked about.

What truly worried him, however, were Volodya's words that he'd hurt Yurio. He'd said it as if he'd physically attacked his friend - something which Viktor found hard to believe. Even in such a dark mood, Volodya never harmed people - or anything living really. He preferred to direct his rage at inanimate objects, most often hurling his phone or shoes at the wall.

Viktor knew that Volodya was a good person, and he was aware that his son felt horrible about what he'd done.

"Volodya,  _ солнце _ ," he said, stroking his son on the back, "trust me, you can recover from this. I'm sure that Yurio will forgive you once you apologize. You know how much he loves you!"

He'd hoped the tease would cheer Volodya up, or at least distract him for a short while, but all he managed to do was make Volodya weep openly. His body started shaking and tears were rolling down his cheeks.

"I hit him! And I told him such nasty, cruel things! Things I don't even think, really... I've never ... I mean, I've always ..." He stopped and swallowed, then continued in a slightly calmer voice. "He looked so hurt and scared. I ... I hate myself for making him feel that way!" He wiped his tears off. "Dad ... c-can you ... can you go and find him? And make sure he ... he doesn't do anything stupid ... and please tell him that I'm sorry."

"I'll do that,  _ солнце _ ." Viktor nodded and stood up. He went to Yuuri, who was still looking at Volodya with concern.

"I'll go look for Yurio," Viktor told him quietly. "You'll stay here, right? I don't want Volodya to be by himself for now."

"Yeah, sure." Yuuri nodded. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the small hunched form in the corner. "What happened to him?"

"His father happened," Viktor said bitterly. "The biological one, I mean. My sweet Volodya ... his father was an aggressive and frankly evil person and he ... well, sometimes he gets that way too. Only for a very short time, thankfully, and Volodya is good-hearted enough to realize that this isn't right. But ... he sometimes can't stop himself, it's something inside of him that he needs to fight with for the rest of his life."

"Is there no way to help him?"

"He visited a specialist for a long time. Honestly, we both thought that he was over his condition. Before today, he hadn't had an episode for more than a year." Viktor sighed. "When he was still a kid, he used to get like that every other week. Literally anything could make him angry. But in the past few years this sudden shift happened less and less. I was hoping that maybe, as he got older, he developed some kind of control over it. Or that maybe he'd learned to channel his rage in less destructive ways.' He gave his son a sad look. Volodya had buried his face in his toy again. "I was concerned that something like this might happen when he came here, but he looked so happy. I think even Volodya thought the danger was over and he might have let his guard down. And ... well, this happened." He sighed again.

"I'm sorry. I ... I didn't know. I always thought that ... he looks so happy normally," Yuuri mumbled. "I'd never have imagined that he's even capable of acting such way."

"He's embarrassed from this side of himself," Viktor replied. "Fortunately, he has Yuri. The toy, I mean. It's always managed to calm him down. That's why he still keeps it close. He knows that without it, things can get much worse."

"So that's what you were talking about before ..."

Viktor gave him a sad smile and nodded.

"Yes. I didn't know how to tell you. It's .. I don't think it's something I can reveal to anyone. After all, this is Volodya's secret."

"Yeah, I understand."

Viktor smiled, feeling immensely relieved by the way Yuuri seemed to be accepting the revelation. He could easily have been frightened or disgusted, but instead, he was trying to understand. To Viktor, this was yet another proof of Yuuri's kindness.

It seemed that every day, Yuuri said and did things that made Viktor fall even more in love with him.

"Well, I'll go see how Yurio's doing. He must be scared out of his mind, this is the first time he's witnessed Volodya in such a state."

"Alright. I'll stay here."

Viktor nodded and then left the room. He looked for Yurio in the house, but he couldn't find him anywhere. Finally, as he went outside, he saw the teen. Yurio was huddled in a corner of the garden, almost invisible in the shadow of a tree and the wall. He'd wrapped his arms around his knees and he was staring at the ground. His position reminded Viktor of Volodya and he frowned slightly, thinking how young and vulnerable both boys were.

Yurio raised his head when Viktor approached him. He frowned and averted his eyes. This was a typical gesture for him, but this time Yurio's typical defiance was gone. Instead, Viktor thought that Yurio looked like a child who was caught doing a mischief and now awaited his punishment.

Of course, Viktor had no intention of punishing him.

He sat down next to Yurio, like he'd done with Volodya, but he didn't touch him. He knew that, unlike his son, Yurio might feel even more agitated by unwanted touches.

"How are you feeling?" Viktor asked.

Yurio didn't reply immediately. He was digging in the earth with some twig. Viktor wondered if he was even going to talk to him at all - Yurio was acting even more distant than normal. He often got in trouble with Yakov for not treating Viktor with enough respect - after all, Viktor was not only older and more accomplished than Yurio, he was also the father of Yurio's best friend. But for some reason, that had never stopped Yurio from mouthing off to Viktor. Not that it bothered Viktor, he actually found the younger's bravado quite charming.

The twig in Yurio's hand broke off. He clicked his tongue in annoyance and threw it away.

"What are you doing?" He asked rudely.

"Excuse me?"

"Why are you here, dammit?" Yurio raised his voice. "What's it to you how I feel? I'm not your damn kid! Why aren't you with Volodya?"

"Because I want to make sure that you're okay."

"Uuuggghhh, stop acting so fatherly with me! You always do it and it's horrible! Why don't act like a father where you need to be, hm?"

He fell silent with his lips pouting. Viktor waited a little. He hadn't been offended by Yurio's jabs. He knew that Yurio wasn't comfortable opening up to most people. So to make himself feel better, he needed to be rude first.

After more than a minute had passed in silence, Viktor repeated his question.

"So ... how are you feeling?"

"How do you think I'm feeling?" Yurio gave Viktor a defiant look. "Why are you here, Viktor? You should be with Volodya - he's the one who really needs someone right now."

"Volodya asked me to find you. He thought that maybe you'll need some comforting."

"I'm fine."

"Are you, really?" Viktor asked, smiling lightly.

"I meant that there's no need for you to fuss about me. I'll be alright. But Volodya ... he's the one who needs you. Please, go to him." Yurio bit his lower lip, flushing lightly. Viktor figured that he wasn't used to asking so politely. "I wish I could go to him too," Yurio continued sadly, "but I don't think he'll want to see me."

"Why do you think so?"

"I did something stupid and horrible," Yuuri said and sniffed. "I hate myself now. It was so senseless! I ... I don't even know why I did it. I didn't mean to make Volodya angry." He looked at Viktor. "Volodya hates me now, doesn't he?"

"Of course that he doesn't." Viktor smiled. "He actually thinks that  _ you _ hate  _ him _ ."

"That's ridiculous!" Yurio laughed and his features softened significantly. "He's such an idiot ... as if there's something he could do that would make me hate him!"

"Yes, I think such an outcome would be very unlikely," Viktor said softly. "You like him a lot, don't you?"

"Huh?!" Yurio flinched. He blushed and looked down again. "... I didn't know Volodya told you ..."

"He hasn't told me anything, but it's kinda obvious you do."

"I ..." Yurio looked flustered. "You're not mad, are you?"

"Of course not." Viktor laughed and then patted Yurio on the head. "I like teasing you, but you know, I do like you. I'll be very happy if Volodya ended up with you rather than someone else."

"Thanks." Yurio smiled a bit awkwardly. "But I don't think Volodya likes me."

"Well I think he does. He just won't tell you, for some reason."

Viktor suddenly thought that his relationship with Yuuri wasn't that different than the relationship between Yurio and Volodya. It seemed that his son, just like Yuuri, was hesitant to act on his feelings.

"Yurio," Viktor spoke suddenly, "do you remember what happened when you and Volodya met for the first time?"

"Yeah." Yurio blushed and covered his face with his hands. "It was so embarrassing!"

"It really was." Viktor laughed. "But my point is that what you did back then was what actually made you two friends in the first place. So don't think that your friendship is done with, because it's not. I'm sure that if you talk it over with Volodya, you two will not only patch things up, but your friendship will come out stronger than before."

"You really think so?" Yuuri asked quietly.

"Yup." Viktor nodded. "But you'll get nothing done by avoiding each other. So get up, go to Volodya, admit your mistake, accept his apologies, and move on. That's all I can give you as advice."

"Hm ..." Yurio was silent for a while, pondering Viktor's words. He then looked at him and smiled at him. "You know, I used to doubt it whenever Volodya mentioned it, but you actually  _ are _ a pretty good father."

"Everyone is very surprised about that," Viktor complained with a pout. "Of course that I'm a good father. I owe it to Volodya." He smiled and pinched Yurio on the cheek. "Come on, let's go back to him."

* * *

After Viktor had left, Yuuri had turned his attention back to Volodya. He was still curled in the corner, with his face buried in his toy. It was as if he were hoping that if he couldn't see the world around him, then it would stop existing.

"Um ... do you want me to bring you something?" Yuuri suggested. "Perhaps a glass of water?"

"No." Volodya's voice was muffled. "I just want to stay here and then disappear."

"Don't talk like that," Yuuri said gently. "Look, I know what it's like living with certain feelings you don't want. I ... I can't get rid of my doubts in my own skills even now. I don't think I'll ever fully shed them. I let that hinder me for a long time, and only recently found the strength to move forward despite them. You should try doing that."

He went to Volodya and sat down in front of him. He didn't know what to do to comfort him. He thought that it would be inappropriate to touch him. While normally Volodya had no problems holding Yuuri's hand or even hugging him, Yuuri doubted he'd be as willing to do so when he was feeling so vulnerable.

Volodya had listened to him in silence. After Yuuri was done with his little speech, he gave a bitter laugh.

"Thank you, Yuuri, but - no offense, of course - but I think your case is different than mine. I mean ... I'd gladly accept my negativity if it's directed at me. But mine is ... well, it's directed at other people and things. And I think this is much worse." He sighed.

"Yeah, but ... after all, many people struggle with something inside them, right?" Yuuri tried again, even though he felt discouraged. "I mean, just because you have something that can be considered an obstacle doesn't mean you should give up, don't you agree?"

Volodya stared at him with an even face. He said nothing, and as time went by in silence, Yuuri kept getting more and more anxious, thinking that he may have said something extraordinarily stupid.

"A-ah!" He waved his arms helplessly. "I'm sorry. I'm not very good with words. Or with actions. I'm sorry ..." He scratched the back of his neck. He wanted to help Volodya but he wasn't sure how. He kind of regretted agreeing to stay with Volodya now, as it seemed that there was nothing he could do to make things better.

"Yuuri," Volodya suddenly spoke up, "aren't you disgusted?"

"What?" He was confused. "Why would I be?"

"Well ... aren't you disgusted with me?" Volodya asked almost shyly. "I ... this isn't a nice trait to have. Aren't you appalled? Or frightened?"

Yuuri smiled and shook his head.

"Of course not. There's nothing for me to be disgusted about. I ... I think I understand what you're going through, so you don't need to worry about it."

"And ... this won't be any problem with you and my dad?"

"Oh, of course not."

Yuuri as surprised that Volodya was worried about  _ that _ of all things. It hadn't even crossed his mind to consider Viktor or Volodya responsible for what had just happened. As he'd told Volodya, he knew what it was like to fight against himself. Besides, it didn't seem like Volodya's struggles had impacted Viktor's coaching so far, so it was unlikely they'd impact it in the future.

And … there was no way Yuuri's feelings for Viktor would diminish. Of course, there was no way for Volodya to know how Yuuri felt – Yuuri was certain that he'd kept his secret very well. 

Volodya looked relieved by his reply. He sighed softly and hugged his toy tighter. It appeared as if he'd reverted back to his normal state and Yuuri suspected it was more because of the toy than his own actions. He didn't mind though, he was just happy that Volodya had something so effective to calm him down.

It was  _ Yuuri _ who'd given Volodya that toy … and it seemed that it was this very toy that kept Volodya together when times got dire. But he really couldn't take credit for it – he'd thought that he was just doing something nice for a random child, nothing else.

“I messed up a lot, didn't I?” Volodya suddenly asked.

“Huh?”

“With Yura.”

“Ohh! N-no, I wouldn't say that. He … Viktor and I saw him. He didn't look like he was mad at you. I'd say he actually looked guilty.”

“That poor boy ...” Volodya smiled sadly. “I think I ought to see him as soon as possible. We need to straighten this up before it's too late.”

“Y-yeah, I guess.”

Yuuri was honestly impressed. It was hard to face someone, especially after a very stormy scene. A lot of people – Yuuri included – would rather avoid someone they'd hurt, rather than look them in the eyes. It seemed that while Volodya's aggressive side was an inheritance from his biological father, this brave, open aspect from him was Viktor's legacy.

Suddenly, Volodya smiled and hugged Yuuri.

"You know ... I was really anxious about telling you my secret. And really, I think you had to find out at some point, right? I mean, it wouldn't be fair if me and my dad were hiding something so huge from you, right?"

"A-ah, there was no need to tell me if you didn't want to," Yuuri stuttered and blushed. "I mean, this is something very personal and it's your choice who you reveal it to."

"Yes, but I  _ wanted _ to tell you, you see? But I was scared of how you might react. Like ... you could have decided that I'm insane or something, right? And you may have thought that you didn't want anything to do with my dad and me ..." He blushed lightly and looked down. "I know that most people wouldn't want a child like me ..."

"I already told you," Yuuri said with a smile. "I wouldn't do something like that. You're not at fault for having this side of you. I mean ... when you learn of something like that, it's better to try and help then to cut all ties with that person."

"Yeah, I know. But not everyone is willing to do so." Volodya smiled. "I'm really happy that you are, though."

At that moment the door opened and Viktor entered, followed by Yuri. When he saw Volodya in Yuuri's arms, Yuri went slightly pale. He frowned and turned away. He probably would have left the room if Volodya weren't quick enough. He jumped up and in less than a second was standing by Yuri. For a while both teens were just silently staring at each other.

Yuuri stood up and went to Viktor. He was curious to see what would happen. There was no doubt in his mind that Volodya and Yuri would reconcile. They were good friends, from what he had seen.

Suddenly Volodya started weeping again. He lunged at Yuri and wrapped his arms around him. Yuri, who was also on the verge of crying, smiled lightly at him. He murmured something softly to which Volodya responded with a chuckle. He moved closer and rested his head on Yuri's shoulder.

Yuuri thought that once the two calmed down, they'd reconcile in no time. They both seemed willing to forgive and put this unpleasant experience behind them. And who knew, perhaps in the future, they'd look back at what had happened and laugh about it.

"W-wha-?!"

Yuuri flushed deeply when, all of a sudden, Yuri lifted Volodya's head, wiped his tears and then kissed him on the lips. Yuuri had expected this kind of development and he quickly averted his gaze, feeling embarrassed, as if he'd just witnessed something forbidden.

Viktor chuckled softly and took Yuuri's hand.

"Let's leave them alone, hm?" He suggested.

Yuuri nodded silently and followed Viktor to his bedroom. Viktor sat on his bed and stretched in satisfaction, kind of like a cat would.

"Well, I think that things between Yurio and Volodya will be alright once again," he said, smiling widely.

"I-I ... I didn't know they were ... um ...  _ together _ ."

Yuuri was still blushing. He'd assumed that Volodya and Yuri were just really close friends, so seeing them kiss had been quite the shock.

"They aren't yet, my Volodya is kind of stubborn." Viktor laughed. "But you can see for yourself how much they like each other."

"Y-yeah, I guess I can ..."

Looking back, Yuuri realized how right Viktor was. All those small gestures between Yuri and Volodya - them holding hands, hugging, and even sharing the same futon - all which he had perceived as close friendship had actually been a show of their unrealized feelings for each other.

Still ... Volodya and Yuri as a couple? Yuuri wasn't sure how compatible they'd be. People often said that opposites attracted, and the two were so different that they could be considered opposites - but would that truly work? Was it possible for two people, with barely anything in common, to be able to love and enjoy each other.

Yuuri truly hoped so, not only for Volodya's sake, but for his own as well. He looked at Viktor, who gave him a warm smile and pulled him down on the bed.

"It must have frightened you very much, huh?" He asked, leaning on Yuuri's shoulder. "You didn't know Volodya was capable of such rage, did you, Yuuri?"

"Yes, it was very startling," Yuuri admitted. "W-when you were telling me about Volodya's bad moment, I didn't think you were talking about ... this."

"Yeah ... It's not easy, you know? I have to watch my child suffer just because he had the misfortune of being born in a horrible family." Viktor sighed. "I want to be there when he needs me, always, but ... there's nothing I can do when he gets to his darkest moments. The most I can do in these times is just watch from the sidelines and then comfort him after it's over. This ... this isn't what a good father should do!"

"Viktor ..." Yuuri was startled by the pain in Viktor's voice. He'd never imagined that Viktor, someone who Yuuri always considered as the peak of confidence, could think so lowly of himself. "I ... I'm sure Volodya isn't unhappy with you about that."

"No, of course that he's not." Viktor waved his hand dismissively. "But I'm unhappy with myself. Volodya is everything to me and I must protect him from everything. But I can't do that the one time it really matters." He sighed again. "I just wish I could be as good a father as he needs me to be."

Viktor looked so sad that Yuuri couldn't help but wrap his arms around him. Nobody deserved to feel so low, especially when they had done nothing wrong.

"Viktor, I think you're being unfair to yourself," he said, blushing lightly. "You do a lot for Volodya. Even earlier today, when we found him in his room. You went and talked to him. And ... I don't know, maybe you don't think you did anything significant, but believe me ... sometimes it's enough just to let someone know you're there for them. And that's what you did with Volodya." He cleared his throat. "I ... I think you're a really good father. Perhaps you don't think you meet the expectations you've set for yourself, but trust me, the way you've raised Volodya shows just what an excellent job you've done."

Viktor looked at him. At first he seemed too startled by his passionate speech to react. Then he smiled warmly and hugged him.

"Thank you, Yuuri. I really needed to hear that today."

Yuuri didn't reply, distracted by how close he and Viktor were. He blushed lightly, wondering if he'd ruin Viktor's mood if he moved away. When he tried to do that, though, something unexpected happened: Viktor put his hands on Yuuri's shoulders and pulled his closer until their lips touched.

A kiss! Yuuri's heart leapt in his chest. Viktor -  _ that _ Viktor, Viktor Nikiforov, the champion, the legend, the idol! - was kissing him! And ... he was enjoying it.

He could feel Viktor's breath on his skin, so warm that it fogged his glasses. Yuuri brought a hand to his chest, clenching it tightly in an effort to calm his heart. Viktor must have sensed his movement, because he put his hand over Yuuri's and tangled their fingers together. All the time, their lips remained connected.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that, glued to each other. It was as if time had stopped the moment they kissed. A mere second could have passed, or a few days - it didn't matter. Yuuri had lost all sense about anything that wasn't Viktor.

Viktor eventually moved away, breaking the kiss. He smiled at Yuuri and stroked his cheek. His eyes were crinkling with mirth.

"I've wanted to do this for a long time."

"I-is that so?" Yuuri whispered. Even he could hardly recognize his voice.

"Mhm." Viktor nodded. "I wanted to do it a lot. In fact, I still do." With that, he leaned forward and pecked him on the lips again.

Yuuri's mind was in chaos. Was this really happening? It was hard for him to grasp that he was indeed here, in the bed and arms of Viktor Nikiforov.

Viktor must have noticed his uneasiness, because his smile suddenly faded. He looked at Yuuri with worry in his eyes.

"Yuuri, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah ...." Yuuri nodded absently. "I ... sorry, I ... I didn't know you would ... um .. would do that ..."

"Yeah, I thought it would be kinda unexpected too. But the moment seemed right, don't you agree?" Viktor laughed merrily. He seemed rejuvenated.

"Um ... y-yeah ..." Yuuri stood up. "Sorry, I ... um ... restroom ..."

Ignoring Viktor's slightly surprised face, Yuuri slipped out of the room. He trudged to the restroom - not because he needed to use it, but because he needed a place where no oe would bother him. He had a lot of thing to ponder.

He closed the door behind him and leaned on it. Sighing, he pushed him glasses up and rubbed his face.

He didn't know why the kiss shocked him so much. If someone had asked him, in theory, if Yuuri would accept a kiss from Viktor, his answer would be an exalted yes. Why then, when it had actually happened, did Yuuri get so little enjoyment out of it?

It wasn't that the kiss had been unpleasant. But there was something that prevented him from fully immersing himself in the kiss. Yuuri felt that he needed to find out what that obstacle was, otherwise he'd never be able to be close to Viktor again.

Yuuri furrowed his eyebrows in an effort to peek into his own soul. He loved Viktor, he was sure about that. This kiss, no matter how unexpected it was, showed that Viktor wasn't indifferent to him. Or so Yuuri hoped.

Viktor ... did seem rather nonchalant about it. If he'd meant this kiss to reveal how he felt about Yuuri, he should have followed up with some confession. But he hadn't ... Was it possible that this wasn't as important to Viktor as it was to Yuuri?

Yuuri winced and shook his head. No, Viktor would never do anything like that. He was too kind. He probably didn't want to get Yuuri's hopes up in case he had to return to Russia. But that would only happen if Yurio won, and Yuuri wasn't willing to let Viktor slip through his fingers so easily. He pouted and clenched his fists in determination. No, he certainly wasn't going to give up, not when he'd come so close!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:
> 
> \- I've decided to eventually make Yuri and Volodya a couple, though I'll have their relationship develop very slowly throughout the story.  
> \- The part where Volodya has an outburst and yells at Yuri was written in one go and never edited, so I apologize if I've made some mistakes! I thought it would make his rant more raw.  
> \- I wanted to expand Yurio and Viktor's conversation more, because I think that they have a very interesting relationship, but I decided to leave it for later chapters.  
> \- I personally think that Viktor and Yuuri's relationship kicked off some time during episode 4, but I honestly couldn't wait to develop their relationship. Also, I think it's appropriate for their relationship to take a step forward after one of the few times when it's Yuuri who cheers up Viktor.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Yurio prepare for the Onsen on Ice!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, I finally found the time to update this story! I'm so sorry for taking so long! orz
> 
> Just so there's no confusion, this chapter takes place during the second half of episode 3, a couple of hours before the Onsen on Ice event starts, and a few hours after it ends.
> 
> This has been a hectic few weeks, and the next will be even more for me, so chapter 5 will take a while. Please, look forward to it, however, because in the next chapter, Viktor and Volodya will finally find out Yuuri's secret! Also, please read the end notes if you're interested in some of the thoughts I had while writing this chapter.
> 
> If you like this chapter, please leave a comment!

Viktor could never quite figure out Yuuri's hair. It shined a thousand colours, from gleaming onyx to flaming garnet. He loved its ever-shifting nature, like he loved everything else in Yuuri.

He buried his fingers in the other's hair, enjoying the feel of those silk strands between his fingers. Yuuri's hair was soft, like Volodya's, but it had a heavier, more masculine scent to it. The aroma suited Yuuri quite well.

"So soft ..." Viktor mumbled as he ran his fingers through Yuuri's hair a few more timed. Then he reached to his pocket to take the comb he'd put there out.

"Viktor, I'm telling you - you're not required to do my hair. I can do it myself." Yuuri's protests were quiet and totally unconvincing. "I've always done my hair myself. I mean ... y-you don't need to do it if you don't want to ..."

"Don't worry about it, I've done Volodya's hair since I adopted him, so I'm very good at it," Viktor assured him with a soft smile. "Trust me, I won't make you look bad or anything."

"I-it's not about that ..."

Yuuri was embarrassed, mixing his words and stuttering. Viktor found his behaviour adorable. He could understand why Yuuri would feel that way. From what Volodya had told him, it seemed that in some Asian countries, Japan included, brushing another person's hair was an exceptionally intimate thing to do. So  _ of course _ , Viktor had insisted that he be allowed to help Yuuri with styling his hair.

Upon hearing the request, Yuuri had become so erratic and flustered that he'd dropped everything he'd been holding. It had taken him quite some time to calm down and be able to give Viktor a coherent answer.

"Besides," Yuuri spoke again, "you're the judge. Isn't helping me before the competition giving me an unfair advantage?"

"Probably." Viktor laughed merrily. "But Volodya is helping Yurio prepare, so I think it's fair for you to get some assistance too. It's very democratic, don't you think? Each of the Yuris gets a Nikiforov." He chuckled again.

Yuuri, however, failed to see the joke. He turned around to look at Viktor.

"Volodya's helping Yurio?" He looked slightly worried, for some reason. Viktor smiled and gave a nod.

"Yup, he is. But don't fret about it," he said. "He's always helped Yurio with his outfits. It doesn't mean anything."

Help was a bit of an exaggeration, though. Most of the time Volodya and Yurio just messed around. Yakov was against it at first, but after figuring out that spending time with his friend helped ease Yurio's anxiety and improved his performance during competitions, he'd relented. But he'd made Volodya promise that he'd make sure Yurio's outfit was impeccable every time. Volodya had been taking this responsibility seriously ever since.

"Besides, Yurio kinda needs Volodya," Viktor continued. "He doesn't know how to put make up on, and my beautiful  _ солнце _ is very good at it."

"Yurio wears make up?" Yuuri sounded surprised this time. "I didn't know that."

"No, he doesn't wear make up." Viktor chuckled. "Actually, he's very much against it. He says it's humiliating and degrading to put that kind of stuff on his face." He shrugged. "But from what I understand, Yurio got a bad acne outbreak and he needs make up to cover it."

"Oh, I see! Well, I can understand that." Yuuri paused to wince in pain as Viktor pulled on a knot in his hair. "I had problems with pimples when I was about his age too."

"It seems like we all did, hm?" Viktor laughed. He personally never had any serious skin problems, mainly because he always took good care of himself. The few rare times he actually got a pimple, he was quick to treat it with a suitable product. "It can be very disheartening, especially if it happens right before a competition."

Viktor knew that because it usually happened to Volodya. He was probably prone to skin problems, or they could have been caused by stress - whatever the reason, it always made him ponder dropping out in the last second. No matter how much Viktor tried to assure him that acne was not a big deal, his son wouldn't listen to him. He insisted that his own body hated him.

"Y-yeah, you're right ... it's not a pretty sight ..." Yuuri mumbled with a sigh. "Just one more thing to worry about ..."

Viktor looked at him. Yuuri seemed sullen, and he figured his low mood couldn't be simply because of what they were talking about. He placed a hand under Yuuri's chin and forced him to turn around.

"You're nervous, aren't you?" He asked, looking straight into Yuuri's eyes.

"A ... a little bit ..." Yuuri admitted, blushing lightly.

Viktor watched him, loving the delicate shade Yuuri's eyelashes threw on his cheeks. He wanted to kiss him so badly at this moment! Well, to be fair, he wanted to kiss Yuuri ever since he'd come to Japan. He'd finally managed to, a couple of days ago, but Yuuri's reaction had been ... not what he expected.

Simply said, instead of blushing cutely and professing his love for Viktor - the outcome that Viktor  _ had  _ expected - Yuuri had just run away. This was ... embarrassing. It was unpleasant to see someone run away after he'd kissed him. Viktor was so perturbed by what had happened, he hadn't even had the heart to tell Volodya about it.

He hadn't told anyone about it, and Yuuri seemed to be keeping the kiss between them a secret too. He hadn't mentioned the event to Viktor, and Viktor decided to follow his example. He'd been keping his urges in control ever since.

But at the moment Yuuri looked so vulnerable and soft ... and it was so tempting to just wrap his arms around him and hold him forever. If only Viktor could cancel the competition and spent the rest of the day cuddling and kissing Yuuri! But he couldn't do that. Yuuri desperately needed a boost of confidence, and shielding him from everything that stressed him out would be more devastating than helpful.

Viktor would have to leave the cuddling for later.

"You shouldn't worry so much, Yuuri. Everything will be alright." He pinched Yuuri on the cheek. He did the same when Volodya was in a similar mood and it had become something of a reflex. "I have faith in you."

"I ... t-thank you, Viktor."

Still smiling, Viktor returned to combing Yuuri's hair.

"So, how do you want your hair? You used to only comb it back, right?" Yuuri nodded. "How about we try something different then? If you want to, of course."

"O-oh, w-well ..." Yuuri hesitated. "What do you have in mind?"

"I'm thinking of parting it in the middle. I've never seen you like this before."

"O-oh, Viktor, I ... uh ... I don't think I'll look good that way."

"You'll never know for sure unless you try, so let's do it. We have time."

Yuuri shrugged and turned forward again. Viktor ran the comb through his hair a few more times, to make sure that there were no knots left. Then he split it in the middle, smoothing out any unruly strands. When he was done, he stood in front of Yuuri to examine the end result.

"Hm ..." He pursed his lips. "I don't know ... It's not  _ bad _ , really, just ... I thought it would look better."

"Sorry ..." Yuuri looked down in shame, rubbing his hands together.

"No, no, it's ok. Maybe your hair is too short. When I had long hair I used to part it in the middle all the time and it looked very good on me."

"I bet it did." Yuuri paused, as if he was gathering the nerve to ask something. "A-ahh ... Viktor? Can I ... can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can."

"W-well ... why did you cut your hair?"

Viktor's hand went to his own hair, pulling on a strand lightly. He tilted his head sideways and smiled.

"It's simple - I just got bored with having long hair. I was looking for something new."

"Oh, that's all?"

"Mhm." Viktor nodded. He wasn't surprised by the question. Back when he'd cut his hair, he'd received an unexpectedly aggressive reaction from his fans. "I never really understood why it became such a huge deal. It's just hair."

"Oh, I know, just ... I don't know, I was just wondering why you did it. It's a huge change, after all."

"It's just hair," Viktor repeated calmly. "It literally took minutes to cut it off. It's not anything important.  _ Your _ hair, on the other hand ..." He smiled and ruffled Yuuri's hair. "Let's try something else."

Viktor picked up the comb again. Despite the nonchalance he'd displayed, Yuuri's question  _ did  _ get him thinking. Had there really been a bigger reason to cutting his hair? Viktor himself believed that he'd been looking for change, but was it possible that this was just something he'd convinced himself of after the fact?

It was rare for him to muse on his actions. If he felt that he wanted to do something, he would do it. He never stopped to think about the motivation that lay behind his acts. So far this strategy had been a successful one.

Now, however, Yuuri's inquiries had piqued his own curiosity, and Viktor wanted to know the truth. Unfortunately, he'd cut his hair so long ago that it was difficult to remember anything specific. His memories, mostly involving Volodya, were blurry at best. But those that he could recall were all happy experiences, which had nothing to do with his hair.

Perhaps it had been Yakov who'd forced him to cut his hair? Viktor thought about it for a few seconds before dismissing it. No, Yakov had criticized him about many things, but never his hair.

"Your hair was pretty," Yuuri said softly, interrupting Viktor's thoughts. "It looked really nice. Like Volodya's hair now."

"Yeah." Viktor smiled. "Volodya actually had short hair when he was little. But he started growing it soon after I adopted him. He said he wanted to look beautiful like me." He suddenly flinched. " _ Ah _ !"

"W-what is it?" Yuuri asked, looking startled. "Did I do something?"

"No, don't worry. I just ... I just remembered why I cut my hair."

"Oh? So there was a reason?"

"Yeah ... a big one."

It was because of Volodya. Slowly, Viktor was starting to remember. As Volodya's hair got longer, people would comment on how much he and Viktor looked alike. However, due to Viktor's youthful appearance, he was often mistaken for an older brother. These compliments were well-meant, Viktor was sure, yet he couldn't help but feel dissatisfied, as he wanted to be seen as Volodya's father. After being told that it was his hair that gave him such a deceptive look, Viktor had decided to cut it short. He'd hoped that the act would give him a more mature and fatherly appearance.

Looking back, he couldn't help but think that he may have overreacted a bit.

"So that's what it was," he spoke quietly, and then turned to Yuuri with a smile. "You know, I think it would be fine if I just combed your hair back. Hm?"

"A-ah ... sure." Yuuri nodded.

"Great! How are you feeling, by the way?"

"Oh! W-well ... kinda ... a lot nervous, to be honest."

"Still?" Viktor raised an eyebrow. "There's no need to be nervous, Yuuri. I'm sure you'll do fine. After all, I did my very best preparing you for today!"

While he hadn't coached Yuuri as much as he would have liked to - due to Yurio's constant demands - Viktor did think that Yuuri was more than prepared to skate his routine. Of course, his performance could be improved, but they could worry about that later.

"I think you're more than ready to go on the ice," he added with an encouraging smile, and pinched Yuuri on the cheek again.

"I ... I know that. It's just ... um ... I don't know... I'm not sure I've perfected all my jumps yet ..."

"It's ok." Viktor gave him a soft smile and squeezed Yuuri's shoulder. "Don't try to make it perfect. Just skate with feeling, ok? If it'll make is easier for you, imagine that you're alone and skating my routine like you did in that video. You looked very calm there."

"T-that ..." Yuuri blushed. "That was ... something different."

"It doesn't have to be. Try to channel what you felt then into your performance today. It might help." Viktor paused to lean forward and peck Yuuri on the lips. "And good luck today. Make me proud."

"A-ahh ... sure..."

* * *

Volodya smiled, satisfied with the result he'd achieved. His make up was chosen to suit his own skin colour, which was slightly lighter than Yuri's. He'd feared that it would look odd on Yuri's face by giving him a disturbing clown face. It wouldn't have been a pretty sight. But in reality, the make up had ended up fitting Yuri's colouring quite well. Volodya was certain that under the artificial lights on the rink, his friend's face would appear perfectly natural.

"Are you done?" Yuri asked. He'd been fidgeting restlessly in his chair for the past several minutes.

"Yeah, I'm done now." Volodya nodded.

He wanted to add that he thought Yuri looked very good, but the words died in his throat. Yuri, it seemed, also found it hard to say anything. He'd turned his gaze to the ground, tapping his fingers on his chair.

This awkwardness had settled between them since that horrible thing happened two days ago. While they had apologized to one another almost immediately - and  _ very _ passionately, too! - there was still a strong tension lingering around the two. The hesitation that Yuri displayed towards him had not escaped his attention either. His friend was now much more restrained with his gestures and emotions, and rarely touched him any more. He'd even gone as far as sleeping on the floor, just so that he wouldn't be a bother to Volodya.

Volodya was hurt by this behaviour, though he was aware that he was personally responsible for it. This wasn't what he wanted. He didn't like the fact that Yuri felt unsafe around him. He realized that he had very little time to smooth things out with his friend - Yuri would leave for Russia after the competition, which meant that Volodya only had a few hours to repair the damage his rage had done.

Unfortunately, he didn't know how to begin. Volodya liked to indulge his impulsiveness occasionally, but when it came to serious things - like reconciling with his best friend - he wanted to plan his approach beforehand. However, he didn't have the time to do so, so he had to improvise on the spot.

"Yura ..." He spoke with a quiet voice. Yuri looked up at him and Volodya felt his courage evaporate. He forced a smile on. "Going for the "no make up" look is great and all, but I would have really liked to do your eyes too! I think that with a bit of dark eyeliner and mascara, the colour would really pop out. You have really pretty eyes, you know."

"I don't think my costume requires any bold make up." Yuri tossed his head. "It won't fit the Agape style."

"Maybe you're right. Agape evokes a sense of innocence and purity, and bold black make-up would probably look ridiculous." Volodya smiled at Yuri. "Maybe you could try it with your free program for the GPF? It would be amazing if you received your medal looking like Alice Cooper."

"Huh?" Yuri flinched. He looked at Volodya wide-eyed. "Wait ... you think I'll win a medal at the GPF?"

"Yeah. I mean, I've kinda always thought you'll win the gold." Volodya was frowning in confusion. He'd seen Yuri skate numerous times before, and he had faith in his friend's abilities. "Don't tell me you don't agree with me?"

"No, no, I definitely do! I ... I'm just surprised that you'd say so."

"Why?"

"Well ... I thought you'd be rooting for the katsudon ..."

"For Yuuri?" Volodya blinked before it clicked. He burst out laughing. "Oh my god, Yura! I can't believe it. How can you be jealous about something so ... silly!" He shook his head in reproach. "The thing is, I like Yuuri a lot, and I'm glad that he and my dad love each other so much. I think that Yuuri is kind and gentle, and I'm sure that he'll make my dad very happy. But ... if I have to be honest, I don't think he'll achieve anything as a skater."

"What?" Yuri jumped in his seat. He was staring at Volodya wide-eyed. For a moment, he seemed too dumbstruck to continue, but then he furrowed his eyebrows. "But you ... wait, you said he was going to win today ... I don't understand ..."

"I did say that." Volodya nodded. "And I still think so. Look, Yuuri may be a worse skater than you, but my dad is the  _ judge _ . And my dad loves him. I mean, really, Yura, you think my dad would give you first place if this meant he had to leave Yuuri? He'll never do it."

Yuri stared at him with an open mouth. He was still for so long that Volodya wondered if he'd even heard him. Finally, Yuri shut his mouth so that he could be able to purse his lips, and his cheeks flared in anger.

"So he lied to me!" He exclaimed, clenching his fists. "What a fucking asshole!"

"Hey, don't say that! I don't appreciate people insulting my dad," Volodya scolded him, frowning slightly. "And my dad didn't lie to you. He gave you a short program like he'd promised, didn't he?"

"I guess he did ..." Yuri agreed reluctantly. "But ... he's not really giving me a fair chance if he's going to just make the katsudon the winner, right?"

"Well, it's not like this competition really matters, does it?" Volodya shrugged. "It's the GPF that matters, and my dad won't be a judge then, so you'll definitely do better than Yuuri there."

"S-so, wait ... you," Yuri frowned slightly as he tried to collect his thoughts together, "you really believe in me? And you've done so from the very start?"

Volodya smiled. He dragged a chair next to Yuri's and sat down. He wasn't sure what was happening, but it seemed that Yuri had thought that Volodya didn't support him. This surprised Volodya - while he'd never said it out loud, he'd assumed that Yuri must have known it somehow. Perhaps, if he'd been clearer before, he could have avoided all that had happened.

"Of course that I believe in you, Yura. You're my best friend, and I've always supported you. I'm surprised you didn't know that." He took Yuri's hand, tangling their fingers together. "And you know, I don't do that just because you're my friend. I really do think you're exceptionally talented, and I expect that you'll become a legend in the skating world, like my dad is." He paused for a moment, to pick his next words properly. "Now, Yuuri ... I'm sure he has the skills needed, but ... well, he doesn't have a good track record so far, has he? I mean, he can't do his jumps well, and he's such a wreck when it comes to nerves. I don't think that even my dad can help him with that. Honestly, I don't even know why my dad even bothers? I used to think that he was just using this coaching thing to get close to Yuuri ... but it seems like he's serious about it now." He pursed his lips for a moment. "So weird."

"Maybe he's gone crazy? You know, because of love?" Yuri shrugged. Then he turned to Volodya and smiled bashfully. "I ... I never knew you thought this way about me. I thought that ... since you came here ... you preferred the katsudon. If I'd known what you just told me before, I ... I wouldn't have done what I did back then."

"I tried to explain it to you, but you never gave me a chance." Volodya sighed. "Whatever, it's in the past now. I wish I could go back and erase it from time, but it's impossible. Still ... I'd really like it if we moved past this thing. I want things between us to be normal again. And the way things are now ... it's killing me."

"Me too." Yuri nodded. He leaned to Volodya, brushing his forehead against Volodya's shoulder. "I'm really sorry. I know that words aren't really enough, but ... I don't know what else to do to make things right."

"I understand what you mean. I'm unsure what to do too. I ... I said some terrible things to you. And I didn't mean them! I just said them because I ... because I knew I can hurt you that way. But ... I guess that doesn't make it better, huh?" He sighed. "I feel awful because of what I did. You didn't deserve it at all."

"No, I did!" Yuri retorted. "Really, it was you who didn't deserve to be treated this way. I ... I behaved like a monster." He let go of Volodya's hand and looked down at his feet. "I ... do realize what kind of a person I am. I know that it's difficult for you to be my friend. And ... I'm scared that you'll outgrow me. You ... every time you meet someone new, I just ... I panic. Because I think that this is the moment when you'll separate from me."

"Yura, this is just ridiculous. You'll always be my friend." Volodya smiled. "And you're not as bad as you think."

Yuri was silent for a while. He was kicking at the floor aimlessly.

"I dunno," he finally said, "I ... I've been thinking these past few days."

"It was about time you started doing that."

Yuri shot an annoyed glare at him and Volodya waved his hands in defence.

"Sorry," he said with a guilty smile. "You know I can't handle serious conversations."

"Please try to." Yuri sighed. "As I said, I've been thinking a lot lately. About the way I act. I ... I haven't forgotten what you told me. That you felt things have changed between us. And ... I'm really sorry about that. I thought about it and I realized that ... that I may have been a bit annoying."

"A little, yes." Volodya nodded with a soft smile. "But ... I think I understand you. So don't worry about it."

"You're really kind. But I don't think it must have been very fun for you to be around me when I was like that. I ... it's silly, I know, but I did some reading ... online. To find a way to change things. And ... I think I ought to do something which probably won't be fun for you either ... but I feel like it needs to be done. This thing  _ has  _ to end, so that we can return to what we had before. I owe you that."

"Owe me what?" Volodya asked bewildered. "Yura, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm just trying to explain myself and make things better." Yuri was blushing. "Look, I'm not good at this, so please don't make it harder for me, ok?"

"Right, sorry. Please, go on."

"I will." Yuri paused for a few seconds, to gather his thoughts. "Look, you know how I feel about you. It's probably stupid of me to confess now, but I've realized I never actually did it before, so ..." He cleared his throat. "I feel that if I do it, it might make things better? I mean, it'll give you an opportunity to properly decide how our relationship should go."

"Oh!" Volodya blinked. He hadn't expected this development. Having realized how affected Yuri had been by their argument made his feelings of guilt stir up anew, but seeing how much he was trying to fix what had happened warmed his heart. "That's ... unexpectedly mature of you, Yura."

"Right? Bet I caught you off guard, huh?" He grinned. "Alright, let's begin. Volodya, I ... I think that I love you." He stopped and frowned at himself, and then tossed his head. "No, that sounds dumb! I  _ know  _ that I love you. You're the only person I feel comfortable with, and the only one who knows everything about me. I ... I really want us to be more than friends, but if you don't want that ... well, I'll respect your decision. Even if I don't like it. But ... I think that you like me too." He looked at Volodya with an uncertain look on his face. "So ... that was it. What do you think?"

"Well," Volodya began slowly, "I think that was a decent confession. Romantic, and obviously sincere, but not too cheesy, if you know what I mean. A bit short, though, bt I liked that you stuck to the point. And unlike some confessions, you didn't end yours with an ultimatum, which is good too. So, overall, I'd give your confession an 8.5 out of 10."

"Volodya!" Yuri chuckled. "That wasn't what I meant and you know it."

"Yeah. Sorry, I've never been confessed to before. It's ... much more awkward than I imagined."

"You don't need to give me an answer now, if you're not comfortable with it."

"I know. But ... I think it will always be uncomfortable. Because, it's very complicated, Yura. This whole thing." Volodya sighed. "You saw what I'm capable of. Do you ... do you really want to be with someone so unbalanced?"

"Yes." Yuri's voice was firm, as were his eyes. "Look, this thing that happens to you - it's nasty, yeah, but ... it's not something so awful that should stop you from being with someone." His voice softened as he continued talking. "Don't do this to yourself. Don't force yourself to be alone just because you think that a bad mood might ruin your relationships."

"But it's more than just bad mood! It's so vile and destructive! I can't expose someone innocent to this!" Volodya exclaimed. "I ... Yura, I don't think you can understand how I feel ..."

"Maybe I can't fully understand," Yuri agreed, "but I still love you. I mean, this isn't a turn off for me. Look, Volodya, I ... if you don't want to be with me because you don't like me, you can tell me. I'll accept it and I won't bother you with it again. But if you have feelings for me, and don't want to be with me because ... because of yourself ... well, that's just not right."

He had a point, Volodya knew. He'd always shied away from moving his relationship with Yuri forward because of the fear that he might harm him. This might have seemed like a hypocrisy, given that he had gone on dates with other people - but those had been one-off things and he'd never come even close to caring for these people as much as he cared for Yuri.

"Yura," he spoke with a quiet voice, "I wish it were that easy .... but I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"I don't want to hurt you again."

"You won't do that, because I'll be careful." Yuri smiled. He moved closer to Volodya. "You may not have faith in yourself, but I do. I know that you're a good person."

"Yuri, please, be more reasonable."

"What do you mean?"

"Well ... what if things don't work out? What will happen then?"

"You think there's such a possibility?" Yuri raised an eyebrow at him. Clearly, such a thought hadn't passed his through head.

"Well ... I suppose. Right?" If Volodya had to be honest, he didn't think it very likely either. "I mean ... you never know what will happen."

"Well, I know I'll always love you."

Volodya sighed. He found his conversation with Yuri very tiring. At the same time, however, he couldn't help but feel flattered by his friend's confession. Yuri's rather bold claim made his cheeks and chest feel warm.

"If you want a relationship with me, you can tell me," Yuri repeated. "I ... I'll try to accept it, I promise."

"I don't know, Yura. I ... look, I'll need some time to think about it all. You're okay with that, right?"

"Of course. But ... you are aware that I'm leaving today, right?"

"Yeah." Volodya nodded. "I think that it would be best if we postpone this conversation until the GPF is over. We'll discuss it when my dad and me return to Russia. If you still want to be with me-."

"I will!"

"-then ... well, we'll talk when the time comes."

He paused. Yuri obviously hadn't expected that he'd need to wait so long for an answer. He did look relieved that he hadn't been outright rejected though. He gave Volodya a light smile and a nod.

"Alright, if time is what you need, then I'm ready to wait. Besides, I don't think I would be able to take it if you were my boyfriend and so far away."

"You seem very confident that I'll be your boyfriend," Volodya chuckled.

"I just have a good feeling about this."

"Sure you do." He rolled his eyes. "Well, please don't let your good feelings about love distract you from skating. You need to prepare for the GPF, so please focus on that."

"I will." Yuri smiled. "But really, there's no way you can ever be a distraction to me. If anything, you inspire me to do better."

"I can do that from here too." Volodya chuckled. "But really, Yura, promise me that you'll be serious about your training. Please?"

"Of course. You know I'm serious when it comes to skating." He wrapped his arms around Volodya and pulled him closer. "I'm so happy you're cheering for me. You had no idea how scared I was that you'll leave me for the katsudon."

Volodya smiled and stroked his friend's hair.

"You're not going to cry now, are you?"

"No!" Yuri laughed before moving away. He rubbed his cheek with his sleeve.

"Yura! I told you not to do that! Now you've wiped off the make-up!" Volodya sighed and took his make-up bag again. "Now stay still, I need to fix your face."

"What's the big deal, I removed just a tiny bit, look!" He showed Volodya the tiny stain on his sleeve.

"It is a big deal because it has to cover your entire face, otherwise it'll stand out under the lights," Volodya explained impatiently. "And I won't allow you to get on the rink with less-than-perfect make-up!"

"You're way too serious about this."

"Well yeah! After all, if you're going to wear make-up, you might as well wear it good, right?"

"I don't see why  _ you  _ need to put make up on. You don't need it, and you probably waste a lot of time every day to do so. I mean, I get why  _ I  _ need to wear make up now, my face looks like the moon."

"That's a bit of an exaggeration," Volodya said with a laugh. "You have like 3 or 4 pimples. It's nothing."

"That's easy for you to say, you have perfect skin."

"I have healthy skin - thank you for the compliment, by the way - because I take care of it. A lot. Why do you think I keep using face creams, masks, and all those other things, hm? Because I enjoy it?"

"I dunno, I honestly thought it was just some hobby." Yuri shrugged. "I always thought you were like Viktor. He doesn't do any of this shit."

"Are you kidding me?" Volodya laughed. "My dad does more for his appearance than me! He's kinda obsessed with looking good, I think."

"I didn't know that."

"That's because you don't live with him." Volodya smiled. "Sorry to burst your bubble about my appearance, Yura."

"Nah, you haven't. I still think you're pretty." He smiled.

"Shut up!" Volodya flushed, punching Yuri lightly on the shoulder. "Geez, Yura ..."

Yuri laughed. He looked at Volodya with a gentle smile on his lips.

"I'm sorry." He reached out and brushed a few strands away from Volodya's face. "I really want to kiss you now. I know it's lame to say it out loud ..."

"It's fine." Volodya smiled. "I suppose ... I could give you a little kiss. For good luck, of course."

"I thought you said I was going to lose this no matter what I do."

"True. Well, then the kiss can be your consolation prize." Volodya smiled. "But if you don't want it, fine."

"I didn't say that!" Yuri exclaimed. He held Volodya by the shoulders. "I want to kiss you!"

Volodya chuckled. He leaned closer and rested his forehead against Yuri's.

"You're really adorable," he said with a soft voice. "It's really tempting me."

"Good. It's about time you feel tempted too."

"How evil!" Volodya laughed. "Honestly, Yura, you're so bad, you don't deserve to be kissed. But ... I think I'll still kiss you."

* * *

Yuuri thought he must be still in bed, dreaming. No, actually, he was absolutely certain about it!This  _ had  _ to be a dream! There was no way he could have won the Onsen on Ice event. Against Yurio, at that!

Surely, any moment now, he'd wake up in his bed and be told that the competition was in a few hours. So, the best thing he could do was enjoy what was happening while he still could.

But he couldn't. He was happy when Viktor announced him as the winner, but only for a few very short moments. Afterwards, doubt started eating at his joy. Yuuri winning against Yurio ... this was too good to be true, and he couldn't help but think that his victory had been a mistake, nothing more.

Viktor must have noticed his sullen behaviour. He moved closer to Yuuri and patted him on the back, all the while sporting a wide grin.

"Relax a little, Yuuri. You did really well today."

"Y-yeah ... I ... I guess I really did win ..." Yuuri mumbled, rubbing his hands together.

"You did win! There's no guessing about it. After all, I'm still here, right?" Viktor laughed. "Come on, eat something. You must be famished."

"A-ahh ... I guess that's true ..."

It was early in the evening, and the sun was about to set. When Yuuri and Viktor had returned from the ice rink, they'd been met with a small feast, prepared by Yuuri's mother. The gesture, while well-meant, only served to make Yuuri uncomfortable. The Onsen on Ice even was an unofficial one, and winning with hardly warranted any acknowledgement, let alone a celebration.

Viktor, on the other hand, was charmed by the effort. He'd made Yuuri sit with the rest of his family and he'd even produced a cardboard crown for Yuuri to wear. He wasn't used to this much attention, so he wasn't really sure how he was supposed to act. He was grateful when his family finished eating and left the room.

Viktor, however, remained. He'd been quite talkative, analysing Yuuri's skating, and most probably boring his parents to death with all the technical terms he was using. But now he'd fallen silent and was banging his chopsticks on the table.

He was waiting for Volodya to return. The teen hadn't stayed to see the end of the competition - he and the Nishigori family had seen Yurio off at the airport.

Truth be told, Yuuri was a little anxious about Volodya's return. He wasn't sure how Volodya would treat him. After all, it was kind of Yuuri's fault that the teen wouldn't see his best friend for months. If Yurio had won, Viktor and Volodya would have gone back to Russia.

An involuntary groan escaped Yuuri's lips, loud enough to catch Viktor's attention.

"What's wrong, Yuuri? You look so sad." He smiled. "You shouldn't feel that way. You finally understood what Eros meant to you, right?"

"A-ahh .... yeah, I guess." Yuuri nodded, blushing. "But I ... it's just ... well, to be honest, I can't really understand why you picked me as a winner. I mean ... my performance wasn't as good as Yurio's ..."

Viktor put an end to his mumblings by pressing a finger to Yuuri's lips. The touch, though light as a feather, made his head start spinning all over again.

"Maybe you still haven't reached his level," Viktor said, "and were this an official competition, perhaps this fact would have mattered. But to me, you were the undisputed winner. Your performance as a whole was better, because you accepted Eros and incorporated it into you program. Yurio, I think, still struggles with figuring Agape out."

"Maybe you're right. I think that Agape is very hard to understand. Well, maybe not to understand, but to be  _ felt _ . I mean ... so few people are capable of feeling a love so selfless and yet also pure." Yuuri glanced at Viktor for a second before looking down at his hands again. "It's so easy for a feeling like that to distort into something ugly like obsession or mania," he continued quietly. "And ... I think that Yurio is still too young to fully realize what love is."

"I don't think that age has much to do with it," Viktor said with a smile. "But I agree that Agape is hard to grasp. Really, Yurio managed to do quite well even without having understood Agape completely. He'll be a tough opponent at the GPF."

"Yeah, probably ..."

"But don't think about this yet. For now, I want you to enjoy your victory and transfer that energy to your training, alright?" He gave Yuuri a smile.

"A-ahh ... ok ..." Yuuri took the crown off and put it on the table. "Wasn't making a crown a bit too much?"

"Nah. Why would it be? I think you earned it." Viktor's smile grew even wider. "This is one of your rewards."

"One...?"

"Yup. And  _ this _ is the other."

Viktor leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. This was the third time he'd done so, and again, he didn't bother explaining his actions. It was almost as if for him, kissing Yuuri was something so natural, that it didn't need any explanations.

Yuuri, however, felt that they were due.

"Um ... Viktor," he began, hesitant, "I ... I couldn't help but notice that, um .... that you've been kissing me a lot lately."

"Yeah?"

"I ... um ... I was wondering if ... if you .... um ....  _ why  _ are you doing it?"

"What's with that question?" Viktor laughed. "I kiss you because I want to, of course. And because I really, really like you."

"O-ohhh ... is that so?" Yuuri flushed. The room started spinning around him and he had to grab the table to stop himself from toppling down.

"Mhm!" Viktor nodded. He wrapped his arms around Yuuri and pulled him closer, pressing him against his chest. "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, you should have known that your feelings are returned."

"O-ohh!" Yuuri stuttered. "You know about ... about this?"

"Of course I do, Yuuri!" Viktor laughed again. "I think that you've made your feelings for me quite clear with everything you've done, don't you agree?"

"I ... yeah, I suppose ..."

Yuuri felt slightly crestfallen. He thought that he'd been successful in keeping his feelings - one of the few secrets he kept locked in his heart - hidden from Viktor, but apparently, he'd been wrong. He wondered if it had really been so easy for Viktor to figure the truth out.

Viktor seemed puzzled by Yuuri's silence. He looked at him with his brows furrowed.

"Is there something wrong, Yuuri?" He asked. "I thought ... Isn't this what you wanted?"

"I ... yes, it is. I think." Yuuri wasn't entirely certain what Viktor meant with the word  _ this _ . Was he referring only to the kisses, or was he talking about something  _ more _ ? "But, Viktor ... I ... I don't know if it's appropriate."

"Hm?"

"I ... um ... How do I explain it? I ... I don't really see what's there to like in me ..."

Yuuri was far from Viktor's level, he knew that. He was physically inferior, way less talented, he didn't possess even a fragment of the other's charisma. In all aspects, he was so far below the Russian, that if Viktor looked down from the place he was standing, he wouldn't even be able to see Yuuri. 

Viktor, however, seemed scandalized by his words.

"How can you say such things, Yuuri?" He placed a hand on Yuuri's face and stroked his cheek with his thumb. "You're such an amazing person. How can you think so badly of yourself?"

"I-I ... I dunno ... just how I view myself, I guess ..."

Viktor clicked his tongue. He looked displeased. He brushed Yuuri's hair back and then gave him a soft kiss on the forehead.

"I understand ... you've never had anyone to give you the love and support you needed."

"I-I ..."

"You haven't been in a relationship before, you told me."

"Y-yeah, that's true ..."

"I see ... then it's normal, I suppose, to think this way. But I'm going to change this, Yuuri. I'll show you how special you really are. If you'll allow me, of course."

Yuuri flushed, not liking where the conversation had gone. If he had to be honest, he would have accepted it if Viktor had declared that they were together, giving him no room to object - not that he would have! But now, with Viktor having placed the right to choose in his hands, when it was expected of Yuuri to say what he wanted out loud, he couldn't even bring himself to open his mouth.

His silence stretched from seconds to minutes, and as time passed, it became even harder for the words to come out. Viktor still had his arms around it and was playing with his hair. He didn't seem impatient and wasn't pushing Yuuri to talk, and Yuuri felt grateful for that.

"Viktor," he finally spoke, "let's be clear about what you're talking about. You want ... um ..."

"I want to have a relationship with you." Viktor nodded. "It's not embarrassing to say it out loud."

"Yes, I know that," Yuuri mumbled, blushing. "But ... w-well ... I ... um ... I don't know what ... what you expect from me."

"I expect you to be yourself," Viktor said with a smile. "Nothing else. I understand if you have your doubts. We can start slow and work through everything that you find confusing and worrying."

"Oh! You ... you'll be ok with that?"

"Of course I will," Viktor replied. "I want you to be happy, Yuuri. That's all."

"I ... thank you, Viktor." Yuuri felt immensely relieved. He'd feared that maybe Viktor would want them to jump head-first into a relationship and that prospect terrified him. "I think that'll be for the best. Taking it slow, I mean."

"Alright then." Viktor smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Feel free to tell me when you feel more comfortable with our relationship."

"A-ah ... I will."

Viktor kept smiling. He pulled the salad bowl closer and handed Yuuri a pair of chopsticks. The sight of the vegetables, shredded and swimming in their own juices, was unappetizing, but made his stomach growl nonetheless. Viktor had been right when he'd pointed out that it had been a while since Yuuri had last had a decent meal.

While he ate, Viktor looked at his phone. He saw the time and frowned slightly.

"That's odd. Volodya should have been back by now."

"I'm sure everything's fine, Viktor," Yuuri said as he was chewing.

"I know it is." Viktor turned to him with a smile. "I have faith in your friends. It's just unusual, my Volodya always keeps his word."

Yuuri nodded in understanding. He finished the salad and pushed the now empty bowl aside. While he wiped his mouth with a napkin, he thought about how his future relationship with Viktor might affect Volodya. Or rather, how the teen would react to them being together.

He probably wouldn't be upset that both Yuuri and Viktor were men. From what he had seen, and from some hints Volodya himself had given, it seemed like his sexuality wasn't confined to just girls. Hopefully, this meant that Yuuri had one thing less to worry about.

However, knowing how close Viktor and Volodya were, Yuuri wasn't sure if Volodya would accept him as someone worthy of Viktor's love. Volodya probably wouldn't be that excited to share his father's love with  _ anyone _ !

And had Viktor thought about these things too?

If he had, he didn't show it. Right now he sat there, holding Yuuri and humming cheerfully. He stopped doing so when he heard the sound of a car coming down the streets.

"Oh, this has to be Volodya."

He was right. A few minutes later, Volodya entered the room. Yuuri was still too caught up in his thoughts for his future to notice his presence. He came to just in time to hear Volodya explain he was late because he and the Nishigori family had stopped to take a bite.

"You didn't worry too much about me, I hope?"

"Of course not,  _ солнце _ ," Viktor said, laughing. "I was just ready to run out into the night to look for you."

"Mhm." Volodya hummed ironically. He looked at Yuuri, who'd turned beet red, then back at his father, who still held Yuuri in his grasp. "I see that you're in full battle mode."

"Of course," Viktor agreed. He stroked Yuuri on the cheek affectionately. Then, his fatherly instinct seemed to kick in and he turned his attention to Volodya again. "How are you feeling,  _ солнце _ ?"

"A bit upset ..." Volodya admitted, looking down. He sniffed quietly. "I'll probably see Yura again in December ... and it seems so far away now!"

"I understand." Viktor unwrapped an arm from Yuuri to push a plate towards his son. "Here, have some cake. It'll cheer you up. It's dark chocolate!"

"Sounds delicious, but no thanks. I just ... I think I'll just go take a shower and then go to bed." Volodya looked at Yuuri and gave him a soft smile. "Congratulations on your victory, Yuuri. I bet you're really hyped for the GPF now, right?"

"A little bit, yeah," Yuuri admitted with a guilty smile. "But the GPF is still a long time away." 

"Don't remind me ..."

Volodya sighed. Then he wished Viktor and Yuuri goodnight and left the room.

"Viktor," Yuuri spoke, fidgeting awkwardly in the other's arms, "you should go to Volodya. I think that he needs you."

"He doesn't." Viktor shook his head and smiled. "If Volodya wanted me to be with him, he would have said so. He hasn't done it, which means he wants to be left alone. I think I'd be a bad parent if I didn't respect his wishes."

"I see," Yuuri muttered. He recalled that as a teenager, he'd also had moments where he would have liked to be left alone. He could understand Volodya's need for solitude. "But ... he'll be alright, won't he? I mean ... it looks like he misses Yurio a lot ..." 

"Well, of course he does. They've been close ever since Yurio started training under Yakov." Viktor chuckled. "It's actually a funny story of how they met. You should ask Volodya to tell it to you some time."

"I'll do that." Yuuri smiled.

"But don't worry so much about Volodya. Everything will be fine, I'm sure."

"Okay ... I just .... I'd hate it if he keeps on feeling so sad ... and because of me, at that."

"Because of you?" Viktor was confused for a second. "Oh, because Yurio went back to Russia? Yuuri, you shouldn't feel bad because of that! Volodya doesn't hold you responsible for that, it's silly. Besides," he smiled softly, "he likes you very much."

"He does...?" Yuuri flushed. "Does he know about ... uh ...?" Unable to say it out loud, he pointed at Viktor's chest and then at himself.

"He does, of course!" Viktor laughed. "Does that bother you? If it does, it shouldn't. My Volodya is more than ok with this." He smiled at Yuuri. "Whatever fears you may have, at least be assured that you have me and Volodya by your side. We'll help you through everything that might come your way."

"Thank you, Viktor." Yuuri smiled a bit shyly. "I really ... really appreciate it."

Viktor pulled him closer and let Yuuri rest against him. He started humming again. The sounds made his chest vibrate and Yuuri closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation. It was oddly calming, he thought.

Maybe ... this could work? If Viktor was truly serious about it, and Volodya was supporting them, then ... it wouldn't be a mistake if Yuuri let himself enjoy their relationship, however short it may end up being.

He really hoped it would last forever, though.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional notes:
> 
> \- I hope I don't have my facts wrong! I remember reading that in Japan, it's common for someone to do little acts like brushing their partner's hair, cleaning their ears and cutting their nails. Of course, Viktor sees this as something much more important than a simple show of affection.
> 
> \- I don't really like the idea that Viktor needed some significant reason to cut his hair short. I know a lot of fans think that there must be something more to it, but I think he may have just got bored with it. Still, in this story, I feel that it's appropriate for him to have cut his hair in order to appear more fatherly. I feel that Viktor would have cut his hair in his early twenties, when he was 20 or 21, and he would definitely be immature enough to think that a haircut might make him a better father.
> 
> \- A lot of the fandom seems to think that Viktor is one of those blessed people who are beautiful without taking much (or any) care of themselves, but I disagree. We've seen Viktor actually cares about the way he looks, and in my experience, people who never take care of their looks don't really act this way. So, in this fic, we see Viktor having a very extensive beauty routine, lol!
> 
> \- I feel like I should explain the languages used in my story. So, the characters mostly speak English. However, Volodya talk with his father and Yurio in Russian when it's just them. So, for example, in the second part of this chapter, when Volodya is doing Yurio's make up, they're speaking Russian. Volodya and Viktor speak English when Yuuri's in the room, so that he'd feel included in their conversation. 
> 
> \- I wonder if I should include how Yurio and Volodya met in a future chapter. Or maybe as an additional oneshot. What do you guys think?
> 
> \- I tried to make Yuuri and Viktor's relationship develop in a similar way as Volodya and Yuri's. Not really sure if I managed to do it, lol!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Yuuri and Viktor's relationship developing steadily, Yuuri also develops some worries. Then, to top it all off, his biggest secret is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What, what, a new chapter?? Yup!
> 
> I'd like to thank the bitch of a professor who refused to grade my exam work today because I mouthed off to her, because if she hadn't spited me, I wouldn't have finished this chapter today. That'll show her!
> 
> Anyway, I worked really hard on this chapter, so I hope you guys like it! Leave me a comment to let me know what you think of the story so far (and also maybe drop an idea or two for later chapters, because I'm all out of those, whoops! ^^")
> 
> If you like my writing, you can go read the other stories I've posted here. Also, check out the end notes for some of my thoughts about this chapter!

Today's practice had gone on for longer than usual - it was close to midnight when Viktor finally suggested Yuuri had had enough for the day - but he'd been reluctant to end it too early, seeing as Yuuri's skating was flawless. Shortly after he began coaching, Viktor had discovered that Yuuri had good and bad days of practice and had learned to adjust the length of their sessions according to his performance.

Due to the late hour, the streets were desolate. Viktor had been spooked by this at first. Having lived in a huge city all his life, he was used to seeing the streets full with people even after nightfall. It had taken him some time to get used to it, but he'd managed to, and now found the empty streets at night oddly comfortable.

The lights were few and far apart, but they were enough to disperse the darkness and so Yuuri and Viktor to be able to walk without bumping into anything. Above them, the stars shone brightly. Viktor looked up; there were more stars here than back in Russia, he thought. And they were smiling at him!

Viktor couldn't remember the last time he'd been so happy. Yuuri's skating was slowly improving, and he grew more confident after each successful session. His performance was still far from perfect, but Viktor was confident that if Yuuri's progress remained steady, then the desired results were sure to follow.

It wasn't just Yuuri's improving skating abilities that made Viktor so happy though. He and Yuuri were finally together, though they were taking things slowly, as Yuuri had requested. He was still uncomfortable with excessive shows of affection, which meant Viktor had to practice some strict self control. He didn't mind doing so, as it kept Yuuri happy. The important thing was that their relationship was now a  _ fact _ . No longer was it unspoken tension between them, communicated only through meaningful looks and awkward touches. It was something  _ real _ now.

This seemed to have cheered Yuuri up as well. He was much more relaxed around Viktor now - a change that Viktor met with mixed feelings, as he found Yuuri's shyness adorable - and was much more likely to respond to Viktor's affections positively. And sometimes, when he lost control of himself, he even hugged Viktor! What was best about Yuuri's hugs was that they were unpredictable and often happened when Viktor didn't expect them.

Viktor looked at Yuuri with a loving smile. It was wonderful that after weeks of uncertainty and doubt he was able name Yuuri as his partner. As the one who'd finally made him a complete person.

At the moment, they'd pushed their personal relationship slightly to the side, and had focused most of their time and efforts on the upcoming skating season. However, Viktor couldn't help but think about their future after the GPF. He hadn't discussed it with Yuuri yet, but he wanted Yuuri to move in with him, Volodya and Makkachin. He'd been dreaming about this moment for the past week, after Volodya had mentioned it.

It was still too early to be thinking about this, though. Yuuri had a long way to go, and it was Viktor's duty as his coach to guide him. There would be time to daydream after he'd won the gold.

What was more, Viktor had something else to think about. Something was off with Yuuri. For the past several days, his behavior had been quite odd; while he acted as usual most of the time, occasionally he'd fall silent and the smile would vanish from his face. Naturally, anyone would be concerned if their partner exhibited such behavior, but what worried Viktor even more was Yuuri's adamant denial that he was feeling less than stellar. Instead, whenever Viktor questioned him, he insisted that he was merely tired from skating.

However, that  _ couldn't _ have been the whole truth! Volodya had already told his father that he'd seen Yuuri in a similar mood even on days when the two hadn't started practicing yet. Viktor didn't want to think Yuuri was deliberately lying to him, but he was well aware that something was going on that Yuuri didn't want him to know about.

He was far from thinking that he had to know everything about Yuuri. While it would be nice if Yuuri was open with him, he was allowed to keep some secrets if he wanted to. The problem was that Viktor couldn't allow himself to be inactive when he saw that Yuuri was struggling with whatever troubles he had.

"Don't push him," Volodya had told him when Viktor went to his son looking for advice. Volodya had proven unusually wise about relationships - it seemed like fiction had taught him well. "You two are at a very important point in your relationship and you need to show Yuuri what kind of a partner you'll be. I don't think Yuuri will be charmed if you just pester him and demand that he tell you everything."

"But if he can't talk with me about his troubles, then who can he do that with?"

Volodya had shaken his head in reproach.

"Look, dad, that's not the important thing here. He needs to do this voluntarily, don't you understand? Yuuri has to want this, he has to trust you to share his worries with you. If he does so because you've forced him, well ... that's not good. Do you understand?"

Viktor had. As much as it pained him, he'd remained silent. He tried not to mention Yuuri's peculiar moods any more, only hinting a couple of times that he was more than willing to listen if Yuuri felt like sharing his thoughts with him. Yuuri had thanked him with a smile, but had said no more.

Viktor had to admit he found Yuuri's stubbornness quite frustrating. He tried to be understanding, but at the same time he couldn't help but think that Yuuri wasn't willing to confide in him because he didn't think Viktor was capable or trustworthy enough. It hurt him to know Yuuri saw him that way.

Viktor turned to Yuuri. He was walking a little behind with his shoulders slouched. He didn't look sad, Viktor noted with some relief, but he didn't look happy either. He seemed to be in deep thought.

"Yuuri," Viktor spoke and then halted. The name had slipped out on impulse because, even though he knew he shouldn't feel that way, Viktor desperately wanted to know what was going on with Yuuri. He wanted to comfort Yuuri, to hold him in his arms and kiss him until Yuuri's cheeks were flushed and his worries forgotten. But until Yuuri himself felt comfortable enough to approach him, Viktor had no right to say anything about it. "I ... I'd really like to go to the beach. Can we do that? I haven't been there at night."

Yuuri must have found his request odd, because he stared at him for a few seconds before speaking.

"Oh," he said, "I guess we can go ... But it might be a bit chilly there ..."

"I doubt that'll be a problem!"

Viktor smiled softly, thinking with faint nostalgia about his home. He remembered how cold it would get, even in the summer, and how when Volodya was younger, he'd wrap him up to keep him warm during winter. And suddenly he could taste the warm and salty broth he used to make for himself and Volodya. It was the quickest way they could warm up after playing in the snow.

Viktor looked and Yuuri and wondered when the two would get to share such wholesome experiences.

The beach, as expected, was deserted, with most of it submerged in water. The narrow strip of sand left untouched by the ocean was soggy and their feet sunk deep into it with each step. It was hardly a romantic walk, Viktor thought, worried that the bleak atmosphere wouldn't improve Yuuri's mood. Perhaps it hadn't been such a good idea to bring him to the beach.

"It smells just like back home," Viktor said in an effort to break the silence. With the seagulls asleep, the only sound accompanying their steps were the crashing waves. "I guess that's why I like coming here."

"Y-yeah, I guess." Yuuri was looking down as he spoke. "But seas kinda all smell the same, right?"

"Mmm, not quite. Volodya and I have been to Turkey and Greece on holiday. The sea there didn't remind me of home." Viktor gave Yuuri a soft smile, though the other didn't notice it. "May I hold your hand?"

The simple request made Yuuri jump up slightly. He turned to look at Viktor wide-eyed.

"Huh?"

"Your hand - can I hold it?" He repeated. "I'd really like to."

"Ohh ... w-well ... okay ..."

Yuuri extended his arm gingerly, as if he were expecting Viktor to bite it. Viktor smiled and took it, lacing their fingers together. He wasn't bothered by Yuuri's reaction much. While Viktor had no troubles touching Yuuri - in fact, he tried to do it as much as he could - he limited himself to doing so in private. He could understand why Yuuri would be hesitant to hold hands with him in the open - even though they were the only people on the beach.

Yuuri's skin was cold to the touch, and Viktor wondered if perhaps he wasn't feeling well. If Yuuri was ill, it could explain his mood lately, and Viktor made a mental note to keep an eye on him. It was his duty to make sure Yuuri was healthy.

The two walked in silence for a while. Yuuri, despite his initial reluctance, seemed content to be holding Viktor's hand. He kept running his thumb over Viktor's knuckles. The gesture, simple as it was, made Viktor giddy.

"I wish you'd always be this happy," he spoke in a soft voice.

"What do you mean?" Yuuri turned to look at him, slightly confused.

"You haven't been yourself lately," Viktor said. "I can see that something's troubling you, Yuuri. I wish you'd tell me what's wrong, but I'll understand if you don't want to." He paused. "Are you dissatisfied with my coaching?"

"Oh, no! I ... it's not about my training."

"But it is about something?" Viktor insisted.

"Well ... honestly, yes. B-but ... I don't think that ... I mean ...." He paused to give Viktor an uncertain look. "I don't want to make you worry."

Viktor smiled. So Yuuri trusted him after all! He was just keeping quiet about his troubles because he didn't want Viktor to worry. It was such a sweet thing to do. He stopped walking, wrapped his arms around Yuuri's waist and pulled him in for a tight hug.

"Yuuri, as your coach and boyfriend, I feel that it's my duty to share your worries, no matter how big or small they are," he said after giving him a gentle kiss on the forehead. "You can tell me what's troubling you and we can think of a solution together."

Yuuri looked up from Viktor's chest. His eyelids fluttered a bit as Viktor met his hesitance with a dazzling smile, and then, slowly, a shy smile formed on his lips as well.

"You're right, Viktor. I-I'm sorry, I should have told you. I'm really sorry for keeping it all to myself. But, I'm not really used to ... to having someone by my side."

"I understand that." Viktor kissed his forehead again. "That's why I'm going to remind you of it whenever you forget. So, what's troubling you?"

"It's just ... well, it's not really a problem." Yuuri looked away. His smile had faded. "Just ... something I've been thinking about."

"What is it?"

"Well ... I know that we agreed to take things slow. And ... I'm really grateful that we are. But ... well ... I suppose that one day, we'll need to take things ... faster?"

"Only if you want to," Viktor elaborated, thinking that perhaps Yuuri was worried he might be forced into doing something he wasn't comfortable with. "I'm happy being with you, no matter if things are slow or fast."

"Yes, yes, I know. That's not really the issue." Yuuri adjusted his glasses. "We ... um ... one day ... eventually ... we'll need to tell people about us, won't we? I mean ... we're not really open about it right now, but ... you want that to change, right?"

"Mhm, well ... that's usually how things go in relationships." Viktor tapped his lips. Was Yuuri trying to tell him he didn't want their relationship to become public? "And ... you don't want to do this? Ever?"

Yuuri's flushed cheeks turned even brighter and he shook his head.

"N-No! I mean, I want to tell people. I really do." He played with the zipper on his tracksuit. "I just ... I don't know what everyone will say about it. I mean ... I've never dated anyone before ... and my parents, they don't know ... um ..." He trailed off and looked at Viktor imploringly.

"They don't know you like men?"

Yuuri nodded. He turned his eyes to the ground again.

"Yeah ... I didn't really want to keep it a secret. I just ... I never told them. It would be a really weird conversation, and since I wasn't dating anyone at the time, I thought I could just delay it ... and I ended up not telling them at all." He sighed.

Viktor wasn't sure what to say. He wanted to comfort Yuuri, but unfortunately, his experiences were totally different and he wasn't really sure what he was supposed to do. He'd never had to come out to his parents. He doubted that, even if he'd had the opportunity to do so, they would have cared enough to listen to him.

"Yuuri," Viktor began, trying to keep his voice mild and soothing, "I can see that the prospect of having this conversation frightens you. I haven't gone through it myself, so I'm not sure how justified your fears are. But I can promise you that when the time comes for you to tell your family, you won't be alone. I'll be with you, and I'll do my best to make the experience as pleasant as I can."

"Yes, I know. That's not really what worries me."

"Oh? Then what?"

"W-well ... my parents are a little ... old-fashioned." Yuuri was fumbling with his zipper again. "I don't think they'd react to our relationship very amicably ..."

Viktor finally understood what Yuuri had been trying to say to him. There were people who were against love, especially when it was between two men. Viktor had been privileged in a way, not having experienced any hate personally, but it was mainly due to him not having dated anyone for over a decade. If he and Yuuri made their relationship public, there would surely be some backlash. He didn't care about it, though. Those were the opinions of people that didn't matter.

But Yuuri's parents mattered. Viktor never would have thought that those sweet, kind-hearted and welcoming people could feel that way about their son's sexuality. He just couldn't imagine someone who was such a good person could also harbor such negative emotions. Then again, Viktor hadn't known Yuuri's family for that long. If they truly hid their real nature underneath a mask of kindness, then Yuuri would surely know of it. Perhaps his worries weren't unfounded.

"I see ..." Viktor muttered. He'd furrowed his eyebrows. "You think that your family might be unhappy with me?"

"Not with you in particular. Just ... with the fact I'm dating another man, I guess ..." Yuuri mumbled. "I don't know, really. I don't want to believe it, but ... I can't be sure that they won't feel that way."

"I see ..."

This was a conundrum. Viktor's first solution was that, in case Yuuri's family truly disowned him, the two could just go back to Russia where they could continue their training and their relationship. But that wouldn't really fix the problem. Viktor knew that Yuuri was fond of his parents, and having them reject his relationship would be a serious blow to his self-worth. Viktor needed to prevent this from ever happening. Unfortunately, he wasn't sure how.

“Yuuri, let's worry about this when the time comes, hm?” He suggested with a smile. "I think it would be best if we don't tell people about our relationship until the GPF is over. I mean, you need to focus all your energy on that."

Yuuri pondered his offer silently. Then, his face cleared and he nodded enthusiastically.

"I think that's the best thing we can do at the moment," he said. "I've been worrying so much lately, I haven't been able to skate properly. I know that if I keep going like that, I won't be able to reach my goals." He turned to Viktor with a shy smile. "I suppose ... this isn't exactly what you expect out of a relationship ..."

"What are you talking about?" Viktor laughed. "I'm just happy to be with you, Yuuri! I wouldn't push you into doing something you're not comfortable with, whether it's taking things faster or making our relationship public. Plus," he took Yuuri's hand and squeezed it, "it's kinda exciting dating in secret, isn't it?"

"I guess." Yuuri nodded shyly. "I'm glad you're ok with it."

"Of course I am!" Viktor saw that Yuuri was shivering slightly and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "It's kinda cold here, let's go back home."

Despite his nonchalance, Viktor was worried. He didn't want to think what would happen if Yuuri's worst fears came true. Would Yuuri still love Viktor if his parents shunned him because of his love for another man?

He flinched and then tightened his grip around Yuuri, as if someone would appear out of nowhere and tear him away from Viktor. At the same time he furrowed his eyebrows and pursed his lips in determination. He hadn't lied to Yuuri when he said he was going to be by his side. He planned to be there forever, and if he had to fight to keep their relationship, he would put his heart and soul into it.

He really hoped it wouldn't get to that though.

* * *

His new bed was much better than a futon. The mattress had that quality that Volodya referred to as 'firm softness' - a term which confused many, but which described the state of the mattress the best. It was soft, but not so soft that it made Volodya sink into its depths every time he laid down.

He stretched, groaning in delight as his bones cracked. Disturbed by the noise, Makkachin, who'd been curled up next to Volodya, raised his head.

"Did my old crackling bones awake you?" Volodya asked with a chuckle. He reached out to the dog and Makkachin licked his hand.

With Viktor and Yuuri busy with their training, they were left with little free time. So Volodya had to find other ways to amuse himself. He sometimes spent the day with Yuuri's family or Minako. Whenever he could, he helped Yuuri's parents with the housework or with managing the onsen. It was actually fun and Volodya welcomed the opportunity to learn Japanese with open arms. He could already carry out a short and fairly basic conversation, and Yuuri's mother claimed his pronunciation was quite good. But Volodya thought she may have said so just to encourage him.

Volodya was aware that Yuuri's parents were busy people, so he tried not to take up too much of their time. For most of the day, he only had Makkachin's company, and while he was happy to spend time with his dog, the fact that his conversations with Makkachin were one-sided did dampen his joy quite a bit. He wasn't happy that his father was so busy, even though he understood that he had no choice.

He was honestly surprised with himself. After all, Volodya was supposed to be used to his father being so busy. Back home, Viktor would spend hours at the ice rink, and even when he wasn't skating, he usually had something else to do - either interviews, photoshoots or charity events. And Volodya had never felt abandoned back then. But that was probably because he had Yakov and Yuri back home.

Thinking about his friend, Volodya wondered what he was doing at the moment. It would be about noon in Russia - perhaps Yuri was having lunch and would have some time to talk. Intent on calling him, Volodya took his phone from the sideboard and saw that he already had two messages from Yuri.

** [Everything from my arms down hurts!!!!] **

** [Dying. Help!!] **

Volodya laughed. Before calling his friend, he checked his reflection in the screen and smoothed down a few stray hairs. After he was satisfied with how he looked, he pushed the dial button. Some time passed before Yuri accepted his call. When he did and his face appeared on the screen, Volodya discovered with faint surprise that his friend was in bed as well.

"You're not practicing?" He asked.

"Lilia threw me out," Yuri replied with a pout. "It was so unfair! I just said that the music she was making me dance to sounded even worse than a vomiting squirrel."

"I'm curious - how exactly does a vomiting squirrel sound?"

"Way better than the crap Lilia's making me dance to!"

Volodya laughed. Lately Yuri had been doing nothing but complaining about Lilia. She was too stern, he'd say, and too demanding, and too sadistic ...

"She's even worse than Yakov!" He kept repeating.

Volodya, who knew Yakov and Lilia much better than Yuri, didn't agree with him. But he allowed his friend to vent, and only interfered once Yuri's words crossed a certain line. Yuri often used harsher words than he intended when he was angry and Volodya didn't want him to say something he'd later regret.

"Well, at least you have some time to rest now, hm? That's not so bad. You've been working so hard lately, after all," Volodya said with a smile. "So how are you handling dancing? Ballet isn't the same as skating, is it?"

"It's not. It's much worse." Yuri paused. "Lilia told me she used to coach you too. I didn't know that. Why didn't you tell me?"

"There's no need to sound so offended," Volodya laughed. "It was a long time ago. I think I was 5 or 6? It doesn't really matter ... Besides, I did it for, like, a few months only."

"She said you had potential."

"Maybe I did. I don't know." Volodya shrugged. "I started practicing because I liked it. The music was beautiful and the outfits the dancers wore seemed like something out of a fairy tale to me. I was willing to give anything to be a part of it all."

"So why did you stop then?"

"Well, Lilia told me there was no way I could perform the girls' roles. And they were the ones I wanted to do, you see? So I got upset and quit."

"I'd watch you dance as a prima ballerina."

"That's really sweet of you to say, but it'd be embarrassing if I tried to dance now. I haven't done it in 10 years." Volodya smiled. "Honestly, I still feel a little bitter about it ... and I'm kind of jealous of you for being trained as a ballerina. Lilia used to teach me how to do the male roles."

"Sounds really unfair."

"Yeah ... Well, whatever, it's over now. I'm glad Yakov got her to coach you. She an amazing dancer and she'll be able to help you a lot, if you're willing to listen to her."

"I am listening to her!" Yuri exclaimed. "I mean, I guess I'm not the most disciplined student, but I am doing what I'm told. I told you, I'm going to win gold at the GPF!"

The statement made Volodya smile proudly. He was happy to see Yuri so determined. Despite all his flaws, his friend had set a goal for himself and he was doing everything he needed to achieve it. It was nice to see him so serious about something.

He'd truly been impressed by the change in Yuri these past few weeks. While competing in the junior league, Yuri didn't have that big of a competition, which had caused him to become a bit relaxed in his training. This behavior worried Yakov, and he'd shared his thoughts with Volodya.

"I've seen it often before," he'd said. "Medals come easily for some kids, but when they transfer to the big league, they realize how tough it really is. Some skater can't take it."

Yuri apparently could. Or at least he was making an honest effort to. He spent hours training without a break, and even when he was talking with Volodya, Volodya could tell he was still thinking about training. He constantly sought ways to improve his skills, and even consulted with Volodya if he should start a healthy diet.

If Volodya had to be honest, he found Yuri's sudden maturity and determination quite ... attractive.

"Hey, Volodya! Are you even listening to me?" Yuri was looking at him in dissatisfaction. His lips were pouting and his eyebrows - knitted together. "Here I am talking to you, and you're daydreaming about something else! How rude!"

"I was actually thinking about you."

Volodya smiled at the sudden shift in Yuri's mood. He could see the irritation melting away, replaced with sincere surprise. Yuri blinked at him a few times, too startled to respond.

"You were thinking about me?" He finally asked, his voice morphed into a meek parody of itself. "W-what were you thinking exactly?"

"it's a secret," Volodya teased.

"But ... it's not something bad, right?"

"It's not, don't worry."

"Good." Yuri was blushing. He wasn't looking at the camera, but somewhere on the left of his phone. "How's your dad, then? Is he still training the katsudon?"

"Yup. They're putting all their time into it, actually. It's pretty much all they've been doing."

"That's good, right? You don't want to catch them hiding and making out all the time, do you? That'd be weird!"

"How so?" Volodya laughed. "Making out isn't bad. But I don't think they're at that phase yet. I mean, I've only seen them hug for now. And they don't even do it that often!" He scratched his nose absently. He'd stayed out too long in the sun the previous day and now his nose and cheeks were reddened and itched. "Honestly, I'm not sure what happened between them, but I don't think they're together. I mean ... they are, I think, only ... they don't act like a couple, if you know what I mean."

"They aren't horribly mushy with one another?"

"It's not just that. Just ... I dunno. They're close, but ... it's different. Weird." Volodya was frowning. "And you know what else - I don't think dad is happy with it. I haven't talked to him about it, but I can sense it. I think he wants something more from Yuuri."

"You mean sex?" Yuri asked with a voice, doused in disgust.

"Ugh!" Volodya flinched. He supported his father, and he was more than willing to accept his relationship with Yuuri, but this aspect of their relationship was not something he wanted to picture.  _ Ever _ . "Yura! How could you say that?? Ugh!"

"I thought that was what you were talking about!" Yuri shouted back in defense.

"Why the hell would I talk about my dad and Yuuri having sex! That's not something I ever want to think about!"

Volodya fell back on the bed, throwing his phone aside. He lay still, with a hand over his eyes. Honestly, Yuri could be so  _ thick _ sometimes!

"Volodya?" Yuri called out. His voice was soft, obviously he'd sensed that he'd crossed some line.

"I'm fine now," Volodya said after he'd taken his phone again. "Sorry, I just ... let's not discuss my father's intimate life again?"

"Okay."

"Okay," he echoed before clearing his throat. "Anyway. Back to what we were talking about. I don't think things between Yuuri and my dad are that simple. I think it goes way beyond ...  _ sex _ ."

"Okay then, what do  _ you  _ want, Volodya?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. You don't sounds like you're very happy about things."

"Well ... I was expecting something more, if I have to be honest," he admitted. He'd been under the assumption that Yuuri and his father had had some understanding even before Viktor went to Japan. That didn't seem to be case, however. "But that doesn't really concern me."

"You think Viktor's relationship doesn't concern you? But it does - you're his child, after all!"

"Well, it doesn't really affect me directly." Volodya shrugged. "I mean, I want them to get together and be a real couple, but that's really their business. Besides, Yuuri's nice to me, as is his family, so I really can't complain about it, can I?"

"I guess you can't," Yuri said with an uncertain voice. "So ... you're having a good time there?"

"I am. But it does get boring sometimes. There's no one I can really hang out with, if you know what I mean. Everyone's really friendly and so on, but still ... it's not the same when you're not here."

"Same here. I miss you a lot."

Volodya smiled. The way Yuri had spoken those words ... was a little heartbreaking. Yuri sensed that their conversation had taken a rather depressing turn, so he forced a smile on his face and continued with a slightly apologetic voice.

"Anyway ... with ballet and skating, I don't really have much free time," he said. "We probably wouldn't be able to hang out a lot even if you were here."

"That's true."

"And we video chat every day. So ... it's not like we're not talking or anything, right?"

"Right ..."

Volodya wasn't sure if Yuri truly meant it, or if he was just saying that to make himself feel better. After all, while video chats were nice when no other ways of communication were available, they weren't really that sufficient. They couldn't erase the fact that even though Volodya could hear his friend's voice and see his face, they were still miles apart from each other.

When he and Yuri were together, Volodya could  _ sense  _ him. He could not only hear his voice, but he could feel the vibrations run through Yuri's chest as he spoke. And, if the two were close enough, he could feel those vibrations rush under his own skin. He could feel Yuri's warm breath on his skin, smell his aroma - a bit too heavy for someone with such a small frame, but still oddly suiting him ...

He flinched. What weird things he was thinking!

"What's wrong with you?" Yuri asked. He was frowning again. "You're very absent-minded, did something happen?" His tone suggested that he was willing to swim through the ocean if Volodya was in trouble.

"No, no, everything's alright," Volodya soothed him quickly. "I just ... I dunno, I think all that distance between us is making me sentimental. I'm starting to get weird thought about you."

"What thoughts?"

"Well ... weird ones. Romantic, one could say."

"Oh!" Yuri blinked a few times before a huge grin broke out on his face. "In that case maybe it's not so bad that you're over there! Hey, maybe by the time you get back, you'll be in love with me!"

"You're so funny!" Volodya pouted. "What if while I'm here slowly falling in love, your feelings for me are getting colder, hm? That would make for an awkward reunion."

"Yeah, but that will never happen and you know it."

"How can you be so sure?" Volodya asked. "After all, lots of things can happen, right? What if you meet some tall, dark and handsome skater at a competition, hm?"

"I'm not going to fall in love with someone just because they're good-looking!" Yuri exclaimed wide-eyed. "Don't mistake me for you!"

"Hey, I'll have you know that contrary to popular belief, I don't fall in love with everyone I meet. I just get many, many crushes."

"Right ..." Yuri rolled his eyes. "So is there someone you're crushing on over there?" He kept his voice even, but Volodya could tell he was nervous.

"There isn't," he replied and watched in delight as Yuri's face relaxed. "I mean, there's no one here that's even close to my age. Besides, all the men are married."

"Except the katsudon."

"Yuuri? Yeahhh ... but he's with my dad."

"But you can still have a crush on him, right? I mean, it'd be weird if you do, but it's not impossible."

"I guess I  _ could  _ have a crush on him. Hypothetically." Volodya shrugged. "He's good-looking. But he's not really my type. Besides, knowing that he's in love with my dad is kinda a turn-off."

"I guess it would be pretty weird if both you and Viktor fell for the same guy."

"Yeah." Volodya smirked. "Too bad Yuuri doesn't have a younger brother."

"What?!" Yuri jumped. "You just said he wasn't your type!"

"Maybe his brother would have been." Volodya said before laughing. "Sorry, I'm just messing with you, Yura. I missed your angry face."

"You could have joked about something else!" Yuri huffed. "Anyway, I've gotta go soon. Lilia told me not to come back until I've changed my attitude, but I can still go to the ice rink to practice."

"Ok." Volodya nodded. "Tell Yakov to torment you twice as much. For me."

"Oh, I get it now! You want him to kill me, is that it?" Yuri laughed.

"Hey, he's not so tough. Don't tell me you can't handle the pressure!"

"I can, but ... it's harder when you're not here."

"That doesn't make any sense. What do you mean it's harder for you to skate when I'm not there? I don't really do anything ..."

"You just ... are, you know? I mean, it's enough for me to see you there." Volodya was surprised to discover that Yuri was blushing again. "Just ... when you cheer me on and watch me skate ... it makes me more focused. Like, it gives me another reason to do better. Because I don't want to let you down."

That was a really sweet thing to say. For a moment, Volodya was torn between his desire to respond with similar affection and his innate instinct to crush all romance with inappropriate humor. In the end, his instinct prevailed.

"I can make a life-sized cut-out of me and send it to you," he offered with his sweetest smile. "If you put it by the rink, it'll seem like I'm really there, right?"

"I'd rather have one of these huge pillows that you can hug. Sprayed with your perfume, of course!" Yuri replied laughing. "Since you're offering yourself so generously."

"Yeah, like you're  _ only _ gonna hug it! I know what those things are really for!" Volodya giggled.

"Hm!" Yuri slightly, though he looked amused. "Well, I really have to go now. I'll call you again tomorrow."

"Alright, can't wait." Volodya smiled. "Make me proud, Yura."

"I always try to."

After Yuri had signed off, Volodya put his phone aside with a sigh. He didn't want to say anything to his friend, but these little morsels of communication he had with Yuri weren't enough. Before coming to Japan, Volodya and Yuri saw each other every day, and Volodya was used to thinking of his friend as being only a call away. It was hard to accept that he was so far away.

Makkachin, having sensed his sadness, moved closer to him and nuzzled Volodya affectionately. Volodya smiled and scratched the dog between the ears.

“You're _so_ lucky all your friends are here, Makkachin,” he said.

* * *

Volodya was ordering their food. He was speaking slowly, with an amusingly pained expression on his face, and waved his hands a lot. This explained the soft smile playing on the server's lips as he was taking down the order. Viktor listened to his son with increasing pride. In the few short weeks that he'd spent here, Volodya had acquired an impressive grasp on the Japanese language. Viktor, on the other hand, had only managed to memorize a few words.

"What did you order us?" He asked after the server had left their table.

"Let's see ... About a dozen bamboo skewers with grilled meat and vegetables, some breaded chicken with sides of sweet curried rice, and a salad. Also beer for you and tea for me."

"Sounds delicious!"

"It will be." Volodya's smile faded slightly, and he looked worried for a second. "I hope I didn't mess it up. I'd hate it if I accidentally ordered something weird."

"Well, even if you did, I'm sure we'll still enjoy our dinner," Viktor soothed him with a cheerful voice. He wouldn't let such minor troubles ruin their evening.

The reason why Volodya had to use his still quite limited Japanese to order their food was because Yuuri wasn't with them. Viktor wasn't entirely happy about that, but it had been necessary to leave Yuuri out of this outing. He'd realized that he'd been so busy coaching Yuuri that he had no time left for Volodya. The realization filled him with guilt – after all, as a good father, he ought to make sure he spent enough time with his child.

So Viktor had asked Yuuri to practice without him for the afternoon and he'd taken Volodya on a shopping trip in one of the neighboring towns. The two had a lot of fun walking from store to store for hours. Finally, with a dozen shopping bags in hand, they'd gone to a little restaurant to have dinner. The establishment had been recommended by both Yuuri and Yuuko, the latter praising its rich menu.

It seemed to be a family restaurant, as most of the customers were families with children. Viktor liked the place – it had a somewhat homelike feel to it, and the tables were positioned far apart so that the patrons could eat in relative privacy.

Volodya seemed to be feeling the same way. He was looking around the restaurant with interest.

“This is very nice,” he said. “I wish we went to places like this back home too.”

“We did, when you were younger. Don't you remember?”

His son shook his head and opened his mouth to say something, but at that moment the server approached the table with their drinks. Volodya thanked him while Viktor took a careful sip from his beer. He normally preferred stronger alcohol, but knowing how easily he could go overboard with it, he'd opted for beer as a milder alternative. After all, he was spending quality time with his child, it would be a mistake for him to get drunk.

"Well," he spoke after he'd set his glass down, "how is Yurio's training going? I hope he's working hard on the program I made for him."

Though Volodya hadn't told him, Viktor knew that he and Yurio talked almost every day. It wasn't exactly eavesdropping, he reminded himself again. He couldn't help it if the wall between their bedrooms was thin. 

Volodya was blushing. He looked startled at the question at first, and then gave his father a suspicious look.

"Yura says he is,” he finally replied. “But Yakov and Lilia insist that he could do more. But that's something Yakov always says, right?"

"Oh, so you talk to Yakov too! I tried calling him a few times, but he never answered."

"Is it possible you called him during the night?" Volodya asked with a smile.

"The first time I did," Viktor admitted. "But after that I made sure to check the time before calling him. He didn't answer. Do you think he still might be angry with me?"

"It's very possible he is.” Volodya nodded. “From what he's told me, it seems like he thinks you've given up skating for good."

"But that's not true!" Viktor exclaimed. "I told Yakov that I was just taking some time off."

"You did, but I don't think he believed you. I think that Yakov probably thinks you're using this whole coaching thing as an excuse to just ... skate off the ice quietly, I guess?"

"But that's just not true. I don't think it's time to step down. I just took a break because I have more important priorities now."

"Are you talking about Yuuri?"

"I am,  _ солнце _ ." Viktor smiled. "He's more important to me than gold medals. I tried explaining it to Yakov, but he wouldn't listen to me. But it's true! I mean, there are many first place prizes, but only one Yuuri. I'd much rather lose a gold medal than lose him."

Volodya met his statement with a smile. He took a sip from his tea and then held the cup with both hands, slowly moving it left and right. His mismatched eyes were fixed on the dark liquid splashing in it.

"I'm really happy for you, dad," he finally spoke. "I think your instinct about Yuuri was right from the very beginning. He's ... he's really the kindest person." He looked up at Viktor. "I'm serious, I don't think I've ever met someone as sweet and pure-hearted as him."

"Well, I told you he was amazing."

Viktor was glad to hear Volodya speaking so warmly about Yuuri. As he'd told his son months ago, it was important to him that Volodya and Yuuri wouldn't only be on friendly terms, but would come to see each other as family. Volodya's words showed him that he was more than accepting of Yuuri.

"Yeah, you did tell me that. And he is amazing …” Volodya paused. “... but ... I don't know, he doesn't seem very happy lately." He was speaking slowly, his voice strained and forced, as if the words were unpleasant to him. "I hope everything is alright between you two?"

Viktor hesitated. Volodya's last words weren't a statement, but a question, and he obviously expected an answer. He usually had no qualms sharing everything with his son, on one hand, but on the other ... he didn't want to worry him. Volodya wanted everything to be going smoothly  _ so much _ , he's surely be crushed to hear that Yuuri and Viktor were having difficulties. And what kind of a father would Viktor be if he did that?!

But Volodya was the only one with whom Viktor could share his worries, and he had accumulated quite a collection of them lately. Talking about it with Volodya would surely help him. With a sigh, he put his beer on the table and then leaned back in his chair.

"Everything's alright,  _ солнце _ . At least … Yuuri and I didn't have a fight or anything like that. Just ...” He paused to pick his words. “See, Yuuri is worried about how the people around us might react if we come forward with our relationship."

"Oh!" Volodya exclaimed. He didn't look as surprised as Viktor expected he'd be. "It's so weird, but I actually thought about that too. After all, you both are guys, and your kind of relationship can be dangerous. But honestly … I didn't think much about it. I mean … I kind of thought that you'll deal with it.”

Viktor's heart swelled with feelings. He knew that Volodya looked up to him, but this was the first time in years that Volodya had expressed his admiration so directly. Knowing that Volodya saw him as someone who was able to overcome these kinds of obstacles … it gave him hope for the future. He reached across the table and brushed his son's cheek affectionately.

“Thank you, _солнце_ ,” he said softly.

“I just said it because you always deal with stuff like that, don't make it a big deal.” Volodya pouted, but his irritation passed in a few seconds. He gave his father a worried look. “But ... things _will_ be fine, right? I mean, everyone here is so nice ... I don't think they might be homophobic. Or," he hesitated, "do you think that they might have something against you personally?"

"Ah, I don't think that's the case. Yuuri said he was worried because he wasn't sure how his parents might feel about him dating a man," Viktor said with a frown. "Which is a pity. I would have preferred that his parents have something against me. It's easy to make people like me."

He paused when the server came with their food. As expected, the meals looked delicious. It reminded him of how famished he was. For a few minutes, Viktor and Volodya set their conversation aside as they were appreciating their dinner.

“This is really tasty!” Volodya exclaimed.

“I knew you'd like it, _солнце_ ,” Viktor said with a chuckle as he watched his son clumsily trying to pick up rice wit his chopsticks. “You've always loved Japanese food.”

“Always is kinda a strong word, dad. I haven't been here that long.”

“I know, but we've been to Japan before. Don't you remember?”

“Really?” Volodya looked up at him. “When?”

“When you were little. It was a little after you came to live with me. Oh, right, it was when that stranger gave you your crab toy!”

“Oh! We were in Japan when that happened?” Volodya looked genuinely surprised. “I remember that we were away from home, but I'd forgotten we were here. That's so weird!” He paused for a moment. “Ugh, I feel so stupid now. I posted that this was my first time in Japan on my blog … how embarrassing.”

He sighed before taking another sip from his tea.

It took them a short time to clear their plates. Once they were done, Volodya returned to what they were talking about before.

"Anyway, dad, I don't think Yuuri's family will be against your relationship," he said as he ran the tip of his chopstick along the plate's edge. "They're really sweet people. I can't really imagine them being homophobic." He was frowning slightly. "But I suppose that ... well, there will be people like that, people who will find your relationship unnatural and weird. They won't be people whose opinions matter, hopefully. But the truth is that, unfortunately, homophobes exist."

"I know that." Viktor said dismissively. "I can handle  _ those _ people."

Without trying to be boastful, Viktor was aware he was a notable person. He was enjoying a number of perks that came with fame – all at the cost of his private life. Only his most guarded and private moments remained in the shadows. All his choices, from the kind of food he was eating and the clothes he wore, to the people he surrounded himself with, were subjected to an audience that wasn't afraid to criticize him. And a relationship with another skater who was of the same gender, but not fame, would surely irritate some.

What was more, Volodya had informed him that there were people in Russia who were unhappy with Yuuri for snatching Viktor away. Some held him responsible for Viktor break from skating, while others believed Viktor should have focused on coaching the Russian team. These people would surely rage at the news of his and Yuuri's relationship.

Viktor, however, wasn't concerned about this hate, as long as it didn't affect Yuuri or Volodya.

"You'll surely get some spiteful comments from people," Volodya warned him.

"People can talk all they want." Viktor shrugged. "But let's get back to the worse alternative - that Yuuri's family might be against our relationship."

"But surely they approve of you, dad! Just look at how well they've been treating you."

"They're like that now because to them, I'm just some charming foreigner who's been helping their son. But when they find out the truth, they may change their attitude. Don't you think so?"

Volodya thought for a moment, running a hand through his hair. He'd spent the last couple of days wearing it in braids, and now it fell down in cute little waves. This, along with the floral dress and leather jacket he was wearing, made his son look even more adorable. Viktor had even told Volodya so, only to have the teen flush and scold him for being such a  _ parent _ .

"Honestly, I don't think they'll hate you if they find out," Volodya finally said with a light smile. "I don't think you need worry about them being old-fashioned or homophobic. Let me remind you, dad, that I've been prancing around their home in dresses and make-up since the day I arrived, and they've been treating me like I'm their long-lost child."

"That's so,  _ солнце _ ." Viktor laughed. "But that's because you're a big cutie."

"Well, you're a cutie too, and even bigger than me." Volodya laughed as well. "I don't think you need to worry about this, dad. You know what I think? I think that Yuuri, despite his many wonderful qualities, is a bit of a worry-wart. I bet that he always thinks the worst thing might happen in every situation, and now he's convinced himself that his parents won't accept his relationship."

"You really think it could be that simple?" Viktor asked.

He wanted to believe it. As Volodya had said, Yuuri's parent were one of the most kind-hearted people he'd ever met. At the same time, they were middle-aged people living in a small community - and those kinds of people weren't known for their tolerance and wide world view.

"Yes, I do." Volodya nodded. "I'm not just saying it to make you feel better, dad. I know how serious this problem can be. I know there are people who are constantly on edge because they might say something revealing to their parents. I know how ugly it can get."

"I know you do,  _ солнце _ . You've felt it on your own back."

"Yeah, but I've been lucky so far. I only get insulted by some strangers on the street. But there are people who've been kicked out of their homes, who've been hurt and even killed for being themselves. And ... it's horrible ..." His voice trembled.

Viktor reached out and put his hand on Volodya's.

" _ Солнце _ , cheer up. I didn't mean to upset you," he said softly.

"You didn't, it's just ... ugh, it sucks that people are hated for something that's so silly!"

"I know."

Volodya sighed. He was looking down at the table, and Viktor couldn't be sure, but he thought that his son was about to cry. Seeing him like that broke his heart. Tears weren't something that he ever wanted to see in Volodya's eyes. He gently cupped Volodya's cheek and raised his head.

" _ Солнце _ ," he said softly, "you shouldn't be crying about this. The people you're talking about, they don't care about your sadness. Your tears won't move them."

"I know," Volodya whispered. He wiped his cheek. "I know that it's silly to cry about it. It's not like it will help."

"Exactly, tears won't help. If you really want to change the world, you need to be strong and brave. You need to stand tall, face everyone who will oppose you, and challenge them. Show them that this world is made for you too."

"Is that what you're going to do with Yuuri's parents?"

Viktor's smile faltered.

"I ... I don't know. Probably not. I mean, they are Yuuri's parents, I don't want to offend them in any way. But if they oppose our relationship, I won't accept it. I'll tell them that I love Yuuri and that I'm going to be with him no matter how they feel about it."

Volodya nodded.

"That's good." He smiled at Viktor. "I'm glad you're not going to back down, dad."

"Of course I won't. Yuuri is the love of my life. I am willing to fight for our relationship." He sighed and propped his elbow on the table. "I'd really hate it if I have to fight with Yuuri's parents, though. I really like them."

"I still don't think they're homophobic." Volodya said. "But I think you need to be prepared to defend your relationship, because I'm certain someone will be against it."

"As long as they're not Yuuri's parents, I'm fine with it."

Volodya smiled. He reached out and took his father's hand. It was a sweet gesture, but one he'd hardly done before, and Viktor suddenly realized that the tables had turned. Now it was his _son_ who was trying to comfort him.

“Everything will be fine, right, dad?”

Viktor smiled and nodded.

“Of course, _солнце_ ,” he said. “Have I ever let you down?”

* * *

Yuuri was sitting in his room, on his bed. Makkachin was sleeping next to him, letting out a loud snore now and then. Each time that happened, Yuuri would jump up startled. It wasn't so much the sounds the sleeping dog made that frightened him. He'd been on edge the whole day.

His eyes fell on the travel bag next to his feet. In two days, Yuuri was to take part in his first official competition in a long time. He was nervous, unsure if he was ready for it. He liked to think that he was, but the truth was that Yuuri knew he still had a long way to go.

He sighed and tossed his head. There was no use thinking about this. He'd only grow even more anxious if he continued like that. He'd tried to ask Viktor for advice on what he should do to not feel so nervous, but Viktor's answer hadn't been as helpful as he would have liked.

“It's no use being nervous, right?” Viktor had said. “It's just going to make it hard for you to skate well, so you should just relax.”

Yuuri grimaced. He loved Viktor, but he couldn't deny that the man seemed to be living in a world of his own that had little in common with reality.

He sighed and stood up. Viktor had finished packing his luggage earlier that day and had announced that he'd treat himself to a nice soak in the onsen. That had been a while ago, so he was probably in his room now. As bad as Viktor's advice had been, he could at least manage to distract Yuuri enough so that he would forget his worries. With that in mind, Yuuri went out of his room.

As he walked by Volodya's room he saw that the door was slightly ajar. Just as he wondered what the teen was doing, a loud exclamation came out the room. It was in Russian, but judging by the annoyance it bore, Yuuri could guess that it was a swear. He stopped, hesitated, then peeked in cautiously.

Volodya's room was, mildly put, in complete chaos. It had been messy before too, but after Viktor had furnished it, Yuuri would have thought that Volodya would keep it tidy. He'd been wrong, it seemed.

Volodya was kneeling on the floor, and a large open suitcase was lying I front of him. His hands, balled into fists, rested on his hips, and he was examining the content of the suitcase with an irritated expression.

“Um … everything alright?” Yuuri asked.

Volodya turned to him, and Yuuri was startled to see how haggard he looked. His hair must have been pulled up in a ponytail earlier, but now most of it was hanging down, and the scrunchy that was holding the rest of it was loose.

“Oh, Yuuri.” Volodya looked at him. “Yeah, it's fine. I just can't fit all my luggage into this damn thing! It's so annoying!”

“Yeah, I can see that ...”

Yuuri looked at the suitcase. It was large, so large in fact, that he was sure Volodya himself would be able to fit in it and still have enough spare room for a change of clothes.

"We'll be away for a couple of days only," he said. "Is it really necessary to take all of this with you?"

He had noticed that the luggage Volodya had prepared for packing consisted of at least four pairs of shoes and three jackets, not to mention the small mountain of clothes that he'd been trying to jam into the suitcase.

"You never know what you might need!" Volodya replied cheerfully. "Besides, it's a waste to take this large suitcase and not pack it full, right?

“Why do you need to take it? Don't you have smaller bags?”

“I do.” Volodya nodded. “But Yuri doesn't fit in my smaller suitcases."

"Huh? Oh, you meant the toy ..."

For a moment Yuuri was confused, having thought that for some reason, Volodya wanted to put  _ him _ in the suitcase. He looked at the plush toy that was lying on the bed. As usual, he felt a slight jab in his stomach at the sight of it.

He felt as if the crab was staring at him. His remaining eye was nothing more than a small plastic circle glued to its face, yet Yuuri thought the toy was actually watching him. There was accusation in that black dot. _I know your secret_ , it seemed to be saying. He shifted uncomfortably before shaking his head. This was ridiculous! He had no reason to feel guilty!

"I know it's silly, but I can't really go anywhere without my Yuri. I mean ... you saw what I'm capable of, right?" Volodya sighed. "I dunno, I feel calmer just knowing that my Yuri is nearby."

"Yeah, I understand. You have nothing to be ashamed of."

Volodya gave him a soft smile and continued packing his luggage. Despite what he'd said, it seemed like he agreed with Yuuri that the clothes he'd packed were too many. He took all of them out and threw them on the floor, then started going through them one by one. Whichever item he found suitable, he tossed in the suitcase. The others were thrown aside, likely to remain there until Volodya's return. Yuuri was about to offer his help when the teen spoke again.

"Are you nervous?" He suddenly asked, not looking up. "Dad told me you haven't been in an official competition in a while. I bet it feels weird. Am I right?"

"Ah, y-yeah ..." Yuuri nodded, flushing. Volodya's question was innocent, but Yuuri didn't really need to be reminded how out of shape he was. "I guess I am kinda nervous about it."

"Yeah, I can imagine. I was pretty nervous before competitions too. I would eat jelly beans like crazy, which was the worst because it made me drink a lot of water – and I bet you know how awful it is when you get the urge to go to the bathroom right in the middle of performing."

"I do.” Yuuri chuckled. “So you're a figure skater too, Volodya?"

He'd wondered about this before. It seemed natural to him that Viktor's son would follow in his footsteps. However, he'd noticed that Volodya hadn't been particularly knowledgeable about or even interested in skating so far.

"Ah, no!" Volodya laughed. He seemed amused by the inquiry. "Everyone thinks so, you know! But the truth is I wouldn't have done so well as a figure skater. No, I was actually talking about  rhythmic gymnastics.”

“Oh, I see.” Yuuri smiled. “Do you like it?”

“Of course I do. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't enjoy it, right?” Volodya smiled. “I had to drop out after I broke my leg, though. You can't really do gymnastics in a leg cast. "

"Yeah, I suppose you can't." Yuuri knew that Volodya's injury had been so serious that he'd needed surgery. "Do you plan on going back to gymnastics once you recover fully?"

"No, I think that part of my life is over. I wasn't really into it, I think. I mean, it was fun, but I didn't really have the ambition to achieve something in that field." Volodya shrugged. "I'm thinking of maybe starting a Youtube channel. I mean, my blog is already kinda popular, so it seems like I should try expanding it."

"Oh? That sounds fun. What's it gonna be about?"

"Make-up, mostly. And some hair tips. I know there are a ton of those channels already, but I haven't really seen one that's about people like me. Albinos, I mean." Volodya shrugged. "I haven't thought it through yet, it's just an idea."

"Well, I'm sure it'll be very popular. After all, your make-up is always so well-done. At least that's what Yuuko and my sister told me," Yuuri added. He himself didn't know much about make-up. He didn't even know that Volodya wore make-up until his sister had to explain the so-called 'no-make-up' look to him. Yuuri was still confused by it.

"Thank you." Volodya took a black lace dress and examined it before tossing it aside. "Dad told me about your worries."

"My worries?"

"Yeah, about you coming out to your parents."

"Oh!" Yuuri flushed. "I ... um ..."

"Are you still worried about it?"

"Kinda. I don't know." Yuuri was confused. "I mean ... I haven't really told my parents about it ... it's really complicated."

"It's actually not." Volodya turned to him with a smile. "You like men. And you're dating my dad. It's simple." He turned to Yuuri. "But I understand what you mean. You're not comfortable with the idea of having such an intimate conversation with your family, are you?"

"Yes!" Yuuri replied, more eagerly than he'd anticipated.

He was relieved that Volodya understood him. Opening up never came easy to Yuuri, and the idea that he'd need to sit down with his parents, look them in the eye and talk about his feelings was frightening him to the core.

"I figured. You seem like a very closed-off person. But in a good way." Volodya tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "I could give you some tips on how you can come out to your parents, if you'd like?"

"Oh, I ... uh... it's very nice of you, but ..."

But Yuuri couldn't bring himself to accept advice from someone so much younger than him. It was embarrassing!

"Look, coming out is awkward. Everyone could do with a little advice." Volodya said with a smile.

"Was it awkward for you too?" Yuuri asked. "I don't think Viktor would have caused you any problems."

"Oh, I didn't need to come out to my dad!" Volodya laughed. "I mean, I started wearing dresses since I was 6 or 7, and while that doesn't necessarily mean that someone is gay, it was sort of a hint in my case. And then I had this crush on an actor and I had all these posters of him. Dad pretty much knew from the beginning."

"Then who did you come out to?"

"Yakov."

Yuuri shuddered. He'd seen enough of Yakov at Socchi to figure out that he wasn't someone who could be comforting and understanding. Or capable of talking quietly.

"It must have been tough."

"It was surprisingly easy, I think. Dad and Lilia helped a lot. But it was very stressful at first because Yakov started yelling. That is, he wasn't angry, it's just his usual reaction to anything. But it still freaked me out. I mean, when you're coming out to someone, you don't really want to hear yelling of any sorts."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. But he did accept it in the end, right?"

"Yeah. And that's what I'm trying to say. Yakov is a sweetheart, really, but he isn't the most forward thinking person in the world. But if he can accept me being gay, I'm sure that you'll have no problem with your parents."

Yuuri smiled. It warmed his heart that Volodya was making such effort to make him feel better about his dilemma.

"Thank you."

"No problem." Volodya smiled at him. "I like you. I don't want you to worry so much about silly things like that. You should be worrying about your upcoming competition."

"Ah, I am worried about that too," Yuuri admitted. "Viktor keeps telling me not to, but-"

"Dad isn't really an authority on that." Volodya interrupted him. "He never worries about anything, and he doesn't really need to because everything happens exactly how he wants it to. Even you!"

"Huh?"

"Never mind that." Volodya waved his hand. "So really, don't listen to my dad when he tells you you shouldn't worry. I think that worrying is good - if it's reasonable, I mean!"

"Reasonable?"

"Yeah. Like, you need to worry enough to be on your toes!"

"Oh, I see." Yuuri smiled. "You think that if I get too comfortable and relaxed, it's going to be easier for me to make some mistake?"

"Exactly!" Volodya beamed. "It happens so often, don't you think?"

"I suppose it does." Yuuri nodded, then sighed. "I'm afraid that I worry too much, however. I worry so much that I get all stiff and can't do anything right."

"Which one do you like more?"

"Huh?"

Yuuri looked up. Volodya was holding two pairs of shoes - a pair of black lace boots in one hand, and a pair of black platform shoes with spikes. He stared at the shoes in confusion.

"Um ... I think the boots are better?"

"Ok, I'll take them then." Volodya put the other shoes aside before carefully wrapping up the boots up and putting them in the suitcase. He looked up to see Yuuri was still staring at him. "Dad always insisted I dress up like him whenever he had a competition. Not the whole outfit, but he always made me wear the same colours and made sure our outfits matched. I thought I should do the same with you too."

"Oh, you don't really need to do that."

"Dad used to say it brought him luck." Volodya shrugged. "I don't really believe that, but just in case it's true, I don't want to take any chances." He smiled. "You don't mind, do you?"

"No, of course not. I just don't want you to feel that you need to do it."

Truth be told, Yuuri was flattered. Volodya definitely knew about his relationship with Viktor, and he seemed to be accepting it. He and Yuuri were on quite good terms, though Yuuri couldn't say they were particularly close. Whether that was because Volodya was so much younger than him, or it was because Yuuri subconsciously distanced himself from the teen, he couldn't say. So it was assuring to see Volodya trying to be supportive, Yuuri thought, and made a mental note to do something nice for Volodya after the competition was over.

"You're so cute when you get flustered." Volodya chuckled.

“I'm not flustered!” Yuuri retorted.

“Tell that to your blushing cheeks. Can you hand me my Yuri?"

"… Eh, sure ..."

Yuuri went to the bed and took the toy. He hoped that Volodya didn't notice his momentary discomfort. This was actually only the second time he'd held the toy in his hands. The first was when he'd given it to Volodya all those years ago. He'd have thought that a decade was long enough, but the soft fabric the crab was made of felt oddly familiar on his skin.

Yuuri took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. After he was sure that his face showed nothing of the turmoil in his chest, he turned to Volodya.

"There you go," he murmured, bringing the toy closer.

He kept his head long, because - like anyone with a secret they wanted to keep - he couldn't help but think that if Volodya peered into his eyes, he'd be able to figure it out.

Since he wasn't looking at Volodya, it took Yuuri a while to realize something wasn't right. The toy was still in his hands, even though Volodya should have taken it by now. He looked up, curious despite his concerns. Volodya was frozen in his place. He had his arms stretched out, as if he'd been about to take the crab from Yuuri when something stopped him dead in his tracks. He was now staring at Yuuri with an open mouth. His eyes, already too big for his narrow face, seemed even larger and more bulging. The face he was making would probably look comical under normal circumstances, but Yuuri didn't feel like laughing. Without knowing what was happening, he knew that he'd somehow messed up.

Finally, Volodya seemed to come to his senses. He moved his gaze to the toy, then to Yuuri, then back to the toy again.

"Oh my god," he whispered. He retracted his arms and pressed a hand against his mouth. "Oh my god ..."

Yuuri was starting to panic. What did he do?! Volodya looked so shaken, with trembling lips and tears forming in his eyes. Was this another one of his episodes? What would Viktor say if he found out Yuuri had triggered his child's rage?

It wasn't until Volodya looked back at him that things began to fall in place for Yuuri.

There was Volodya, sitting on the floor, and then there was Yuuri, hovering over him and handing him the toy crab ... the situation was so similar to what had happened ten years ago that it was no surprise that Volodya had had a revelation. He probably wouldn't have been able to consciously summon his memories from so long ago, but the position he'd found himself in had helped him remember. He must have recognized Yuuri as the person who'd given him the toy.

Yuuri gulped. How could he not have realized this might happen? How could he have been so _careless_?

"It wasn't me!" He exclaimed impulsively, wanting to deny the accusation before it had even come. And almost immediately, he realized he'd made a mistake.

"If it wasn't you, how did you know what I was thinking about?" Volodya asked.

"I ... I ... i-it's ..."

"It really  _ was _ you!" Volodya exclaimed, standing up so rapidly that Yuuri had to take a step backwards. "And you  _ knew _ ! How could you not say anything, Yuuri?!"

_ This _ was why. Yuuri, from the very beginning, was terrified of Volodya's reaction. He just couldn't force himself to reveal that he'd been the one to give the toy to Volodya - an item that had ended up playing a key part not only in the teen's mental well-being, but in his whole relationship with Viktor. How could Yuuri reveal himself, and take credit for all that, when all he'd wanted to do was be kind to a child he thought he'd never see again?

Meanwhile, possibly having heard Volodya's loud voice, Viktor came in the room. His appearance made Yuuri's blood run cold - how would Viktor react upon seeing how distraught his son was, and upon learning that it was Yuuri's doing?

When they were talking earlier, Volodya had mentioned that his father was never worried, but Viktor's face at this moment proved him wrong. Viktor looked positively concerned. He looked at Yuuri inquiringly before turning his attention to his son.

"What's going on?" He asked.

Yuuri wasn't sure how he should respond to that question. It didn't matter, as Volodya didn't leave him any opportunity to say anything. He'd leaped to his father even before Viktor was done talking.

** "Dad! It was him!" **

In his excitement, Volodya had reverted to his native Russian. Yuuri couldn't understand what he was saying, but he could guess with fair accuracy.

Volodya was talking animatedly, waving his arms about as he explained what had happened. Viktor listened to him, and Yuuri could see the concern vanish from his face. His eyes slowly grew wide, and he glanced at Yuuri a few times as the boy kept on talking.

Finally, Volodya fell silent. For a few seconds, the room was so quiet that Yuuri could feel the floorboards creaking under his weight. Viktor and Volodya were now staring at him. Viktor's face was frozen in shock. Volodya, on the other hand, appeared much livelier. He was shaking, his eyes were gleaming with tears, and his cheeks were burning brightly. 

Yuuri kept his gaze on Viktor, trying to look past his petrified expression. Was he angry at Yuuri for keeping this secret from him? Did he hate him now? Would this revelation affect their relationship? And … would Viktor even want to be with Yuuri now that he knew the truth?

The realization that he might lose Viktor, that one of his most coveted dreams would be crushed by his own actions made Yuuri tremble. Much like a child, he tightened his grasp on the plush toy, as if it were his shield against the rest of the world. He hurried to explain himself.

“Viktor, I … I'm really-”

This was as far as he managed to get through with his apology before the two Nikiforovs lunged at him. A second later Yuuri found himself on the floor in the middle of a tight hug. Viktor and Volodya, one on each of his sides, held him in a tight embrace. Their closeness was embarrassing enough, but when they began laughing, cheering, and kissing his cheeks, Yuuri's heart began beating so rapidly that he felt it might burst out of his chest.

This was too much for him. He didn't deserve this, the hug and the kisses. He'd lied to Viktor and Volodya, and now that his secret had been revealed, they ought to be angry. They ought to have screamed at him, despised him. This … he didn't deserve this.

“I should have known that it was you, Yuuri!” Viktor exclaimed between kisses. “This is a sign, a real sign that we're supposed to be together! I'm so happy!”

_No_ , Yuuri wanted to scream. This was too much. Yuuri had set himself up for hatred and anger, and to receive such a reward instead … how could one handle that? Tears rolled down his cheeks and he buried his face in the plush crab.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry … I should have told you!” He wept.

Viktor was startled for a second. He and Volodya halted their cheering, and for a while, seemed unsure with what they should do. Then Yuuri felt someone stroking his hair.

“Yuuri,” Viktor said gently, “you have nothing to apologize for.”

“Yeah!” Volodya exclaimed. He rubbed his forehead against Yuuri's shoulders, like an affectionate cat would. “I mean, you should have told us about it earlier, but it was your choice whether to do so or not.”

“I thought you might be mad at me ...” Yuuri mumbled, looking up at them.

“What for?” Viktor laughed. “This is such wonderful news! To think that you and I were connected from so long ago … this really is fate!”

“...”

Yuuri flushed. In a very short time, he'd felt startled, fearful, dismayed, perplexed, shocked, and overwhelmed. He could still feel the remnants of the storm that had raged in his chest. No wonder he felt faint from all the excitement. Luckily, the storm had now passed. And like in nature, it was followed by blissful calmness. Yuuri was surprised at how safe, warm and happy he felt in Viktor and Volodya's embrace.

Now, he told himself, his and Viktor's relationship was valid. Yuuri was finally unburdened of all his secrets. Viktor knew everything about him, and what they had was  _ real _ . Yuuri was connected to this man and his child, and he loved them both. And in this moment, he swore in his heart that he was willing to fight tooth and nail to keep those people by his side forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional notes:
> 
> \- I hope people won't think I'm being too political by putting on all those things about LGBTQA+ issues. I don't like it that the anime seems to gloss over all the difficulties that two gay man in a relationship might encounter when it has the perfect opportunity to focus on them and help spread awareness. So I guess I''m gonna have to do the anime's job.
> 
> \- I feel that once Viktor knows for certain that he and Volodya will be staying in Hasetsu until the GPF, he'll make sure to buy some furniture for Volodya's bedroom (remember, Volodya had only a futon at fisrt).
> 
> \- I thought about this when the anime started too, but I feel like a huge portion of the Russian people, who are skating fans, would think Viktor a bit of a traitor for coaching a skater from another country – especially someone who isn't very likely to win, given their past records.
> 
> \- Volodya definitely has a tumblr, lol!
> 
> \- I tried to make some foreshadowing in the chapter about the scene at the end, like Viktor saying that he can hear everything in Volodya's room (that's why he comes in when Volodya starts yelling at Yuuri). Not sure if that worked, lol! Also, the fact that Volodya is learning Japanese will play a role in the future! ;)
> 
> \- The tall, dark and handsome skater Volodya mentions to tease Yurio is definitely Otabek, lol! Though he's not really that tall, he's still taller than Volodya!
> 
> \- Volodya would name his Youtube channel Call Of Beauty (I apologize if someone already has done this, I found it on a pun generator site and liked it! ^^)


End file.
